Bush meets with Pope Benedict who is critical of the Iraq War and gives him a stick. Ouch!

Dan Brawner
Earlier this month, President Bush met for the first time with Pope Benedict XVI to improve strained relations with the Vatican and exchange gifts. In Rome, as tens of thousands of protesters marched outside and the trial was getting underway for 26 CIA agents who had kidnapped an Egyptian cleric living in Italy, Bush sought to butter up the pontiff by giving him a stick.

The, so-called “Moses stick” was carved by Roosevelt Wilkerson, a former homeless man, now living above a laundry in Dallas. On the 5-foot long walking stick is inscribed the Ten Commandments.

The Ten Commandments?” the pope asked.

The Ten Commandments, yes, sir,” replied Mr. Bush.

This exchange shocked some in the Vatican because the pope must be addressed as, “His Holiness”, not “sir”. The president would surely have been briefed on this point and it was reported that when asked about the breech of protocol, Bush just shrugged. “I’m the decider. I can call him whatever I want. It’s not like he owns the world’s oil. I mean, come on–the guy wears a dress!”

In return, Pope Benedict presented Bush with a 100-year-old lithograph of St. Peter’s Square and a gold medallion bearing the Latin inscription, “Stultus est, sicut stultus facit,” which, roughly translated means, “Stupid is as stupid does.”

The pope smiled and shook hands with Bush and appeared genuinely pleased with his new stick, gripping it tightly in both hands. The pontiff, however, declined the president’s offer of a neck massage.


Bush first became familiar with Mr. Wilkerson’s work while serving as governor of Texas when he was presented with his own stick, identical to the one he later gave the pope. Except that on Bush’s stick, three of the Commandments were vetoed and four were amended with signing statements.

In general, Mr. Bush and Pope Benedict avoided any direct confrontation. The pope did refer to “the worrying situation in Iraq” but refrained from repeating the symbolic spanking given three years earlier by Pope John Paul who, upon receiving the Medal of Honor from Bush, lit into the president about the “deplorable” treatment and torture of Iraqi prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison.

The Bible tells us that Moses received his stick from God, who told Moses he could convince the Israelites to follow him by turning the stick into a serpent. And in the movie, The Ten Commandments, Charlton Heston, as Moses, uses his stick to part the Red Sea.

It is not known if the pope’s stick contains any supernatural powers. But while the pontiff had the chance to persuade the president of the errors of the Iraq War and he was holding that heavy wooden staff, you’d think something would have come to mind.
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Dan Brawner

Dan Brawner is an award-winning humor columnist for the Mt. Vernon/Lisbon SUN. He is the author of the humorous mystery, "Employment is Murder" (available on Amazon.com).

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