Paris Hilton Back In The Slammer

The defendant appears before the judge, with hair in disarray, sans makeup, and wearing a grew sweat top.

She could be any of the thousands of lawbreakers who appear before judges in Los Angeles County ever year...

But this is the socialite who is always photo-op ready; eager to display a dazzling smile or a panty-less crotch.

The judge issues his ruling: Back to jail you celebrity tramp. No celebrity justice for you! (paraphrase)

The hotel heiress erupts into an exhibition of histrionics that would make a soap opera star green with envy: It's not right! MOM! It's not fair!

The attention whore and amateur porn star is back in the hoosegow sans Blackberry, cell phone and all the accoutrements that make life bearable.

No doubt Hilton will be spending the next few days contemplating which ghostwriter to hire to pen her account of her life behind bars.

Paris never graduated from high school, instead she opted for a GED. Her vocabulary is limited to: That's Hot! Let's do lunch! How do I look?

Can America survive a few days without a new photo or video clip of Paris Hilton?

Don't fear my children, the blond bimbo will make up for lost time as soon as she is released. It will once again be Paris Hilton 24/7