Be Kind

This world is a thicket of conflict and the only way to go through it in peace is through kindness.

Why are we not kind, in general, during our daily lives?

Why are we so busy trying to find the next "beep"-word to hurl at our “opponent”? Who is an “opponent” and why?

We were all born soft-skinned babies. When did we become hardened adversaries?

We believe we will cease to exist unless we gain power over “the other.” We have to come across as smart, fast, and lethal, or we feel we are done for...

But time will do us all in anyways. Look at the great Kurt Vonnegut, whose death got lost in between the news about Don Imus and Anne Nichole Smith. The great heart and intellect who survived the carpet bombing of Dresden could not survive the chatter of the news media and our addiction to retaliation, justice and scoring right back.

Vonnegut slipped away from our skies like a gentle evening star. The best way we can remember him is by being gentle and kind in all circumstances.

Fear helps to be kind. When we are vulnerable, riding in a plane, up in the sky, when our seat is shaking like it's the end of the world, when sweat and perhaps even tears start to roll, don’t you feel like turning to the person next to you and express your genuine love, no matter who he or she is?

Why does flying through a storm present an excellent incentive to be genuinely kind, right from the heart?

Because if that airplane goes down, that’s our last chance to experience human compassion and kindness, and we know that. That’s our last chance to elevate our souls to a level reserved for the saints and the illuminated ones.

That’s our last chance to hug our mom and dad and loved ones – and they are sitting right next to us! They just look a little different, that’s all. That’s our moment to be as beautiful as an angel.

But then our plane of course lands safely and... we discover the ugly dent on the door of our car. And we promise to “show it” to the next guy who puts a dent in our expensive metal. Forgetting to forgive, instantly. In a hurry. As soon as we are safe.

The guy you think is plotting your downfall is actually so busy with his own problems, his own bankruptcy of soul and perhaps even a cancer of the intestines, that if you really knew the real story, the real score, you would be embarrassed of your own “dukes up!” stance. If you calmed down for a second and used the telescope of kindness to look into the soul of your “adversary,” you would only hold his hand and tell him that everything’s gonna be okay, even when it is not so.

You are angry at that woman, correct? The woman who is driving you crazy with her endless drivel, and hairdo, and perfume, and everything else she does, says or wears... But do you know what the real score is? And would you be this nuclear-hot if you knew the real story behind the appearances?

If you only knew the fear eating away at her insides... yes, the fear felt by that same self-assured insufferable belladonna, the same woman whom you suspect is dissing you, belittling you and making fun of you behind your back, or perhaps even trying to steal your love away...

If you only knew her agony of sleepless nights and all the insults she had to swallow after her second or third divorce, and what she is going through right now at the office... if you knew all that, you would become her instant friend and feel like asking if you can buy a cup of coffee for her and stay with her through the night just so she can make it to the first light of the dawn.

Let it go and be kind. Let your peripheral vision expand like the endless ocean. Let go of your addiction to be right and correct. Let go of your presumed need to be powerful.

What fun is power when you are the only one left standing, "enjoying" the echoes of your victory yell in your empty heart?

When you are kind, you are handing out a free passport to every soul you meet, a passport to the fragrant fields of peace you already have undulating inside you. Be your own water by dripping sweet every single second.

Be brave enough to be kind.

Be good enough to meld into the light.

Be your own fragrant wind to heal the valleys and the mountains by your touch.

And then look up... See? Vonnegut is winking at you.

(Author's Note: This essay is submitted on the first anniversary of the passing away of one of the kindest men I've ever known – my late father-in-law Hasan Karatepe. He was an educator, a true pioneer of Special Education, and a very beautiful man inside out. I miss him so and I try to honor his memory by reminding myself to be kind always, now and forever.)