6 Ways to Piss Off Oil Companies
Naweko San-Joyz
May 04, 2007
I don’t know about you, but I can think of at least 20 ways to spend the growing portion of my monthly budget that goes to gas. Regardless of what side of the fence you’re on in “The Reason Gas Prices Are So High” debate, I still think a huge part of the price tag boils down to how creative consumers are with pissing off oil companies.
Thus far, we have not ditched our cars en-mass as a grave prohibition to the soaring pump prices. Nevertheless, we could all do a better job agitating oil companies so they’ll consider chopping a little off the price of fuel, or at least make a car that runs on Kool-Aid.
Hence, I suggest six ways we can all do our part to incite oil magnates to make Earth- and consumer pocketbook- friendly changes.
1. Hitchhike:
Certainly, B-rated thrillers have done nothing in the past years to promote the Samaritan act of giving someone a lift. But, catching a ride with a friend instead of driving multiple cars is stellar way to save gas. Plus, if your friend lets your down, there’s always the public transit.
2. Tele-commute:
In a effort to save our planet, we must use the technology of Star Trek today. With telephones, e-faxes, spy-cams and e-mails almost anyone can work from home. Just ask your boss to give you a chance to do it.
If she needs a “good reason” to let you work alone, just tell her to think how lower business insurance will be with one less employee on-site who could potentially go loony and start senselessly shooting his co-workers. Such madness seems to be happening too often anyway.
3. Bike to work:
Everyone complains about having no time to do anything- like exercise. Why not walk, bike or roller-skate to work? Or if that’s an impossibility, how about walking, biking or skating to lunch, or to the grocery store? This way, you at least squeeze physical fitness into your day while sticking it to the gas guy.
4. Slowdown:
You have to love California freeways. It’s where they do NASCAR training. The drivers are tense, angry and sourly focused on getting to point B- all the traits that a professional driver needs to overcome. But, the freeway often turns into a comedy show when the guy that passed you going 95 miles-per-hour three exits ago is now right beside you in a mid-afternoon traffic jam.
What’s the point? Instead giving yourself gray hairs, high blood pressure and pissing off yourself on the freeways, piss off oil companies instead by slowing down a little. Not only will you save gas, you might even feel better once your finally get home.
5. Plan your trips
The transport icon UPS reports that it has slashed its route time and gas spending rate with one ingenious change- making only right turns. While purely right turns may not cut it for you, you can still take a gas-saving tip from “Brown”. Simply plan your travel route before leaving home. For example, it may make sense to go to the gym, and then buy groceries instead of buying groceries, returning home and then going to the gym.
Also, when out running errands, try to park your car in a central location so that instead of starting and stopping your car, you can just return to it to drop off items and return to your shopping.
6. Create a gas-splash fund
I have a weekly budget that’s tagged for buying gas. If I spend less on gas each week, I get to spend that unused gas money on something I really want. Look at how much you’ve spent weekly on gas. Then use a gas saving tactic like hitchhiking, biking or slowing down.
At the end of the week, place the money that you saved on gas into your retirement fund, save it to by a house or buy ice-cream. Whatever you do with the extra cash, it is not going to the oil companies, which will certainly piss them off.
However you decide to piss off the oil companies, just remember to have fun in the process. Moreover, remember that no matter the price of gas, you still have a choice. We’re only limited in our daily freedoms by the degree to which we’re willing to make daily sacrifices.
Thus far, we have not ditched our cars en-mass as a grave prohibition to the soaring pump prices. Nevertheless, we could all do a better job agitating oil companies so they’ll consider chopping a little off the price of fuel, or at least make a car that runs on Kool-Aid.
Hence, I suggest six ways we can all do our part to incite oil magnates to make Earth- and consumer pocketbook- friendly changes.
1. Hitchhike:
Certainly, B-rated thrillers have done nothing in the past years to promote the Samaritan act of giving someone a lift. But, catching a ride with a friend instead of driving multiple cars is stellar way to save gas. Plus, if your friend lets your down, there’s always the public transit.
2. Tele-commute:
In a effort to save our planet, we must use the technology of Star Trek today. With telephones, e-faxes, spy-cams and e-mails almost anyone can work from home. Just ask your boss to give you a chance to do it.
If she needs a “good reason” to let you work alone, just tell her to think how lower business insurance will be with one less employee on-site who could potentially go loony and start senselessly shooting his co-workers. Such madness seems to be happening too often anyway.
3. Bike to work:
Everyone complains about having no time to do anything- like exercise. Why not walk, bike or roller-skate to work? Or if that’s an impossibility, how about walking, biking or skating to lunch, or to the grocery store? This way, you at least squeeze physical fitness into your day while sticking it to the gas guy.
4. Slowdown:
You have to love California freeways. It’s where they do NASCAR training. The drivers are tense, angry and sourly focused on getting to point B- all the traits that a professional driver needs to overcome. But, the freeway often turns into a comedy show when the guy that passed you going 95 miles-per-hour three exits ago is now right beside you in a mid-afternoon traffic jam.
What’s the point? Instead giving yourself gray hairs, high blood pressure and pissing off yourself on the freeways, piss off oil companies instead by slowing down a little. Not only will you save gas, you might even feel better once your finally get home.
5. Plan your trips
The transport icon UPS reports that it has slashed its route time and gas spending rate with one ingenious change- making only right turns. While purely right turns may not cut it for you, you can still take a gas-saving tip from “Brown”. Simply plan your travel route before leaving home. For example, it may make sense to go to the gym, and then buy groceries instead of buying groceries, returning home and then going to the gym.
Also, when out running errands, try to park your car in a central location so that instead of starting and stopping your car, you can just return to it to drop off items and return to your shopping.
6. Create a gas-splash fund
I have a weekly budget that’s tagged for buying gas. If I spend less on gas each week, I get to spend that unused gas money on something I really want. Look at how much you’ve spent weekly on gas. Then use a gas saving tactic like hitchhiking, biking or slowing down.
At the end of the week, place the money that you saved on gas into your retirement fund, save it to by a house or buy ice-cream. Whatever you do with the extra cash, it is not going to the oil companies, which will certainly piss them off.
However you decide to piss off the oil companies, just remember to have fun in the process. Moreover, remember that no matter the price of gas, you still have a choice. We’re only limited in our daily freedoms by the degree to which we’re willing to make daily sacrifices.
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