Automakers Want To Do Away With 'New Car Smell'

Everyone remembers their first kiss, their first paycheck and their first new car.

My first new vehicle was a Chevy Chevette, the quintessential econobox, built not to turn heads or burn rubber, but to save money at the gas pump.

My humble Chevette didn't even have a radio, but when the salesman handed me the keys, I jumped inside and greedily breathed in that new car smell.

That new car smell is a rite of passage that signals you are on the road to achieving the American Dream.

Let the commies in Red China crawl along in their bicycles, I had a shiny new ride, and I was ready to start picking up babes, who didn't mind that the only source of music in my automobile was a cassette player that I had bought at Radio Shack for $19.99.

I am much older, and much wiser, and I will no longer settle for wheels with no radio. I don't ask for much, just give me a new car with a stereo system, nice curves and that "new car smell."

But horrors of horrors, according to the Associated Press, recent research linking "new car smell" to a toxic cocktail of harmful chemicals is spurring Japanese automakers to tone down the fumes.

A new car without a "new car smell"? That's like buying a computer without a mouse, or drinking an eggnog without any alcohol.

I don't care if imbibing that new car smell increases my risk of cancer a thousandfold, I beg the automakers: Please don't take it away.

What's next, will scientists determine that "the scent of passion" poses health risks? I don't care if that musky sex scent is lethal, it ain't gonna stop me from being romantic, and I don't care if "new car smell" is dangerous to my health, a new car isn't the same without it.