Psychology: Blaming the Victim or Healing Humanity
Lourdes Salvador
April 26, 2007
Everyone ran out of the Laundromat or to the far end in fear of the woman’s outburst. Something inside me said to render assistance. I walked right up to her and said, “What’s going on? What’s wrong?” She yelled out again briefly and I repeated my inquiry. She looked at me realizing I really cared and cried, “The change machine is empty! I HAVE to go to work! I have no clean clothes!”
I looked and sure enough the machine must have given me the last of the quarters because the light was on. I silently said a ‘thank you’ that I got my quarters because I was on my way to work too. Then I asked the woman, “How much do you need?” She had only one load, so I sold her some of my quarters I’d saved for the dryer figuring I had enough to get my stuff mostly dry.
I never saw so much relief on someone’s face. The poor woman must have had a stress level beyond any of our understanding. It angered me that no one offered her $2 of change, or perhaps she exploded before anyone could.
I later thought about how she probably was having a hard time making it. I live in a community where addictions are rampant and domestic violence is common. The woman probably had kids to feed at home and feared losing her job or had a parole officer that would throw her back in jail for missing work. She was so consumed by panic and frustration at nothing going her way. I could see her stress was overwhelming and she was simply exhausted. Many of us are fortunate to call in sick and take a week off for a vacation when we need it, but someone who is part of the "system" does not have that luxury.
I could just picture how this woman may have been having a hard time all morning with everything going wrong despite her good efforts to do the right things, the things she was expected to do. Even with the best attitude the cards are not always in our favor. Once her washer was running, the woman collapsed into a bench in exhaustion and relief.
As someone who has worked in the helping profession, this made me think about the demands social programs, specifically recovery programs, place on people. When I was in college studying psychology, a parole officer who was also attending classes often studied with me and he shared many stories of life working in parole, including what many of the clients face in the hands of the "system", often making things worse rather than better. The stories included suffering re-incarceration for being a mere minute late for a meeting, despite heroic efforts overcoming obstacles beyond human control, such as an unexpected break down of a well maintained vehicle on the road, having to hitch a ride to get there, or changing tires on the side of the road and being forced to speed the rest of the way so as not to be late. These people are often placed in a no win situation. Leaving early does not guarantee anyone arriving on time, but for these unfortunate people that could mean loss of freedom. Speeding to get there after an unexpected event is likely to produce the same result as being late if one is caught.
It must be awful to live on the edge, trying hard and being subject to ending up in jail again because of events that are beyond our control. Why is it that we place these heavy demands on people we should be helping? Is the system so flawed as to believe that someone is somehow "tainted" and needs to be educated, made responsible, and given life skills or they would not be in this position? Actually, it is that flawed. There is a definite "it will never happen to me and it would not happen to you if you would grow up and get responsible" mentality. The truth is anyone can fall victim to an illness, injury, or home fire causing homelessness or forcing one to live in a hotel in the interim. It is not unheard of to be jailed due to mistaken identity and simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time could get someone incarcerated.
These are the things that most social programs I have worked with have pushed. I once checked an 86 year old man into a shelter where I worked. He was collecting social security, his wife recently deceased, and could no longer afford the rents as they doubled in the last 10 years in this area. He was an educated man with a PhD, had retired appropriately, and was living out his retirement when the prices skyrocketed beyond his means.
After checking him in and assigning him a case manager I found that he was sent to "hygiene" class, assigned "life skills training", and expected to find a job! The man could barely walk! Unfortunately he was "stuck" in a one size fits all system that did not meet his needs. He was very upset that he was wasting his time learning to brush his 86 year old perfectly maintained teeth and being taught social skills for low wage earners that he learned over 70 years ago and no longer had a use for. He was upset because it took up time he could have been using to apply for senior housing or low income housing and get information on other programs for seniors - his real need. If he were to miss one of those hygiene or life skills sessions, he would be evicted to the streets with no home and no notice. He had little choice but to "comply".
Events such as showing up late should be ways to educate clients in preparations and planning for the worst. For example, coming with change to the Laundromat, leaving for appointments early, calling in when you are running late, etc. It is not our job to punish, but to promote healing and reintegration into society Perhaps repeat offenders could be punished after they've been repeatedly counseled. Why not use these one-time events to educate people about how to prepare for and handle unforeseen events.
From what my study partner at the parole office shared, it seemed that most parole officers want to reduce their work load and the easiest way to do that is to jail the client again. Sadly this actually increases the workload when the many jailed clients are once again paroled.
If ones only goal is sticking to one-size-fits-all plans and reducing their workload at the expense of the humans in their care, there is a more suitable job waiting at the disposal company! We need caring people willing to guide clients in the right direction in our justice system. We need social programs that meet the clients needs, rather than preset agendas based on the majority need or grant funding. To do otherwise is penny wise and pound foolish!
It's time to stop blaming the victims! Or do our social services only care about getting grant funding and turning the revolving door?
About the Author
Lourdes Salvador is a writer and social advocate based in Hawaii. She is the president of MCS America and a featured monthly writer for MCS America News at www.mcs-america.org. She is a passionate advocate for the homeless, having worked with her local governor to open new shelters and provide services to the homeless based on a presentation of her ideas. That passion soon turned to advocacy and activism for victims of multiple chemical sensitivity. For more information about Lourdes and her advocacy work, please visit: www.mcs-america.org, www.thetruthaboutmcs.blogspot.com, and www.cafepress.com/mcsamerica.
Copyrighted © 2007 Lourdes Salvador
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