The Exorcism of Emily Rose: Movie Review

Let me be concise about this review. The Exorcism of Emily Rose is nothing like the Exorcist. The story involves a priest named Father Moore (Wilkinson) who is convicted of killing Emily Rose (Carpenter) by removing her from her medication for Epilepsy. During the movie a female lawyer named Erin Bruner (Linney), who drinks a lot of alcohol, is assigned to defend Father Moore in a court of law. However, the only defense he comes up with is that she was possessed by the devil.

The story was a good idea as far as getting away from the whole “Exorcist” formula. However, the movie drags and drags about how Bruner has her problems with her Firm, how Emily sees demons with black goo coming from their eyes, and how Father Moore needs to “tell” Emily’s story and why the devil possessed her. However, the movie never DID tell why she became possessed by the devil.

I watched this movie because I’m a huge fan of horror, and I heard that Ebert and Roeper gave it two thumbs up. I’ll never make that mistake again. The Exorcism of Emily Rose is as entertaining as The Village. In other words, it was BORING! This movie wasn’t scary, in fact it was silly. An example of this silliness was when a Doctor gets run over by a car just when he apparently saw the devil. I remember laughing while watching this scene because it was almost done in a slapstick way. Out of nowhere a car comes and runs the good doctor over? Made me laugh.

Another example of this silliness is the “figure in black.” Apparently, Father Moore can see the devil and the devil likes to dress in a black cloak. Wow, how original is that? You know what would be a better idea? If the devil had ruby red skin along with horns and a spaded tail, sarcasm at it’s best.

As far as Emily, I didn’t feel sorry for her. I was almost rooting for the devil to hurry up and kill her, because all through the movie the only thing she does is scream. Not like a horrifying scream like Jamie Lee Curtis in “Halloween” more like an annoying scream like Kim Basinger in “Batman.” It’s almost like the writer put scream in her dialogue. Emily was annoying and all through the movie she was eating bugs, scratching the walls, and seeing demons hissing at her like cats. Through the movie it never explains why she was possessed. Was she a virgin? Was she the daughter of a padre? What was the deal?

The movie wasn’t scary, it was too predictable, and I think the only reason why anyone watched it was because of the “based on a true story” propaganda. The Blair Witch Project was scarier than this. Showgirls was scarier than this. This movie wasn’t scary, it wasn’t suspenseful, it was boring, and ridiculous.

I believe the only reason why Ebert and Roeper gave it two thumbs up is because they were probably afraid that the devil was going to possess them. Either that or the devil DID possess them and blinded their judgement, because this movie was downright horrible.

1 out 10 stars.