Don Imus and his Whore Comment
Suki Falconberg Ph.D.
April 14, 2007
The controversy over talk show host Don Imus and his ‘ho’ comment has been on the news everywhere over the past few days. My take is so different on this whole incident that I have to share it with at least the one or two readers who might want to hear what this author, Suki, who is an ex-whore, thinks of the furor.
Imus called the girls on the Rutgers’ basketball team ho’s, whores. If you examine what a whore is, she is a person whose sexuality is sold, usually by a pimp or owner, to a male who regards her as a piece of equipment that he unloads himself into without feeling or care or tenderness. A whore is a trafficked/prostituted body, the most abject, degraded, oppressed creature on this planet. She is constantly raped for money-- sold for money, like a piece of insensate meat—and she is scorned because she is treated this way. She is the most exploited and brutalized member of the human race. It would be hard to imagine being raped every day as a way of life—or death. This is what she experiences. She is a being clinging to life at the outer edge of extremes of pain.
In light of all the privileged girls who ignore the plight of the whore, I would much rather be identified with her than with the fortunate ones. The Rutgers girls are the fortunate ones. Please call me a whore if it means I am one of the hurt and oppressed and dying of rape degradation. I would much rather be a whore than part of the brigade of ‘decent’ women who ignore whores and do nothing to help their sexually brutalized sisters.
This opinion will never be aired on CNN or MSNBC or Fox, or accepted as making any kind of humane commonsense, but I had to let at least a few people know what the an ex-whore thinks. It causes me extreme pain to hear a privileged Rutgers basketball player say she is ‘scarred for life’ by Imus’ comment. The Rutgers girls have enough to eat, and a place to sleep, and the chance to learn, and play sports, at a prestigious university. They are not in the position of, say, the Manila street child, sniffing glue to deaden her hopeless world. The kind of girl who is ‘scarred for life’ is the 10-year-old sold to a Bombay brothel who has to lie down on a filthy stained mattress every night until she contracts AIDS from constant rape. This is ‘indignity.’ This is ‘scarring.’ And no one even notices her plight. Unlike days upon days upon days of coverage of Imus and his apologies to the Rutgers’ girls. Who apologizes to the ten-year-old Bombay whore after she has taken her nightly quota of rape? (I could have substituted any number of places for the city of Bombay: Bangkok, London, Atlanta.)
The girls on the Rutgers basketball team are strong. They have to be to reach this level in athletics. Tough and strong and disciplined. I have a hard time believing that one of these strong, confident women could be ‘scarred for life’ by this one comment. The vagina of the child prostitute in Bombay (or Bangkok, or London, or Atlanta) is ‘scarred for life.’
Another side to what a whore is: Any non-prostituted woman who takes her sexual freedom and assumes she has choice as to how many sexual partners she shares her body with, any woman who wants to express the beauty of her sensuality in this repressive culture is also called a ‘whore.’
There is no ‘complimentary’ word for a woman who has multiple sexual partners. In the realm of sexual rape torture, the poor creature is called a whore, or a prostitute, or she is sanitized with that abomination of coldness—that viciously inadequate phrase, ‘sex worker’—a phrase that can in no way reflect the rape reality of her life. Rape is not work.
If a woman voluntarily takes multiple sex partners she is a ‘slut’ or ‘promiscuous.’ The closest our culture has come to finding an alternative word is ‘non-monogamous.’ It is awkward and ugly sounding. ‘Non-monogamous.’ It sounds like the ailing cousin of a sadly dying mongoose.
I feel guilty I cannot take upon myself all the pain of all the ten-year-old ‘whores’ being raped around the world this moment. I would be honored to be in their company.
Under the circumstances, I would be proud and pleased to be called a whore.
Mr. Imus—you may call me a whore—but never call me a ‘sex worker.’
Suki Falconberg, © 2007
Imus called the girls on the Rutgers’ basketball team ho’s, whores. If you examine what a whore is, she is a person whose sexuality is sold, usually by a pimp or owner, to a male who regards her as a piece of equipment that he unloads himself into without feeling or care or tenderness. A whore is a trafficked/prostituted body, the most abject, degraded, oppressed creature on this planet. She is constantly raped for money-- sold for money, like a piece of insensate meat—and she is scorned because she is treated this way. She is the most exploited and brutalized member of the human race. It would be hard to imagine being raped every day as a way of life—or death. This is what she experiences. She is a being clinging to life at the outer edge of extremes of pain.
In light of all the privileged girls who ignore the plight of the whore, I would much rather be identified with her than with the fortunate ones. The Rutgers girls are the fortunate ones. Please call me a whore if it means I am one of the hurt and oppressed and dying of rape degradation. I would much rather be a whore than part of the brigade of ‘decent’ women who ignore whores and do nothing to help their sexually brutalized sisters.
This opinion will never be aired on CNN or MSNBC or Fox, or accepted as making any kind of humane commonsense, but I had to let at least a few people know what the an ex-whore thinks. It causes me extreme pain to hear a privileged Rutgers basketball player say she is ‘scarred for life’ by Imus’ comment. The Rutgers girls have enough to eat, and a place to sleep, and the chance to learn, and play sports, at a prestigious university. They are not in the position of, say, the Manila street child, sniffing glue to deaden her hopeless world. The kind of girl who is ‘scarred for life’ is the 10-year-old sold to a Bombay brothel who has to lie down on a filthy stained mattress every night until she contracts AIDS from constant rape. This is ‘indignity.’ This is ‘scarring.’ And no one even notices her plight. Unlike days upon days upon days of coverage of Imus and his apologies to the Rutgers’ girls. Who apologizes to the ten-year-old Bombay whore after she has taken her nightly quota of rape? (I could have substituted any number of places for the city of Bombay: Bangkok, London, Atlanta.)
The girls on the Rutgers basketball team are strong. They have to be to reach this level in athletics. Tough and strong and disciplined. I have a hard time believing that one of these strong, confident women could be ‘scarred for life’ by this one comment. The vagina of the child prostitute in Bombay (or Bangkok, or London, or Atlanta) is ‘scarred for life.’
Another side to what a whore is: Any non-prostituted woman who takes her sexual freedom and assumes she has choice as to how many sexual partners she shares her body with, any woman who wants to express the beauty of her sensuality in this repressive culture is also called a ‘whore.’
There is no ‘complimentary’ word for a woman who has multiple sexual partners. In the realm of sexual rape torture, the poor creature is called a whore, or a prostitute, or she is sanitized with that abomination of coldness—that viciously inadequate phrase, ‘sex worker’—a phrase that can in no way reflect the rape reality of her life. Rape is not work.
If a woman voluntarily takes multiple sex partners she is a ‘slut’ or ‘promiscuous.’ The closest our culture has come to finding an alternative word is ‘non-monogamous.’ It is awkward and ugly sounding. ‘Non-monogamous.’ It sounds like the ailing cousin of a sadly dying mongoose.
I feel guilty I cannot take upon myself all the pain of all the ten-year-old ‘whores’ being raped around the world this moment. I would be honored to be in their company.
Under the circumstances, I would be proud and pleased to be called a whore.
Mr. Imus—you may call me a whore—but never call me a ‘sex worker.’
Suki Falconberg, © 2007
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