Will Sanjaya Malakar Save Or Destroy American Idol?
Robert Paul Reyes
April 06, 2007
Is Sanjaya Malakar a Messiah or the Anti-Christ? Will the vocally-challenged amateur be the death of American Idol, or will he save America's most popular show by forcing the producers to make changes to the voting system.
The 17-year-old teenybopper hasn't come remotely close to mastering the basics of singing, but he has performed a few miracles.
He accomplished a mighty wonder by silencing the Idol judges. Even Simon has given up critiquing Sanjaya; he doesn't want to say anything that will encourage people to vote for Sanjaya. If the young Indian-American finds a way to stop Paula Abdul from clapping like a seal, he will be universally acknowledged as the Messiah.
We can do without the reaction from the judges. A five-year old girl could serve as an Idol judge; she would only have to learn how to conjugate the word "pitch."
Jesus may have turned water into wine, but Sanjaya turned 13-year old Ashley Ferl into a geyser. Everytime Sanjaya batted an eye or danced a jig, little Ashley erupted into a display worthy of Old Faithful.
The main players of American Idol have monstrous egos, but a 17-year-old skinny kid has managed to upstage them all. Welcome to the universe of Sanjaya Malakar, he is a gigantic galaxy and we are all tiny asteroids.
American Idol fans don't tune in to hear how many times Randy says "dawg", or to witness Paula clap like a seal, or even to laugh at Simon's insults. Everybody is watching Idol to see what Sanjaya is up to.
Sanjaya will save American Idol by destroying it. If Sanjaya wins American Idol, he will demonstrate once and for all that it's not really a singing competition but a popularity contest. The credibility of Idol will be destroyed, and the franchise will have to make drastic changes in order to save itself.
The 17-year-old teenybopper hasn't come remotely close to mastering the basics of singing, but he has performed a few miracles.
He accomplished a mighty wonder by silencing the Idol judges. Even Simon has given up critiquing Sanjaya; he doesn't want to say anything that will encourage people to vote for Sanjaya. If the young Indian-American finds a way to stop Paula Abdul from clapping like a seal, he will be universally acknowledged as the Messiah.
We can do without the reaction from the judges. A five-year old girl could serve as an Idol judge; she would only have to learn how to conjugate the word "pitch."
Jesus may have turned water into wine, but Sanjaya turned 13-year old Ashley Ferl into a geyser. Everytime Sanjaya batted an eye or danced a jig, little Ashley erupted into a display worthy of Old Faithful.
The main players of American Idol have monstrous egos, but a 17-year-old skinny kid has managed to upstage them all. Welcome to the universe of Sanjaya Malakar, he is a gigantic galaxy and we are all tiny asteroids.
American Idol fans don't tune in to hear how many times Randy says "dawg", or to witness Paula clap like a seal, or even to laugh at Simon's insults. Everybody is watching Idol to see what Sanjaya is up to.
Sanjaya will save American Idol by destroying it. If Sanjaya wins American Idol, he will demonstrate once and for all that it's not really a singing competition but a popularity contest. The credibility of Idol will be destroyed, and the franchise will have to make drastic changes in order to save itself.
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