Igpay Atinlay

Okay, I admit it. I´m a cell phone texting idiot. It looks all Greek to me so when I tell my daughters to send me a message in "Proper English" (soon to be a lost language), I´m always hoping for a miracle. Hoping and receiving are not the same, I´ve discovered. My youngest daughter, Kayle, went on a business trip to New Orleans.

Kayle: Hi, Mom. I gotta n orlean. Tired bt fyn. I´m hav ~/ dent w a few f?

Huh? Since I´m a texting idiot--remember?--I answered her in the only other language besides "Proper English" that I know: Pig Latin.

Mom: Unhay? Areway ouyay uresay ouyay avehay ethay ightray othermay?

Kayle: Huh? Mom, RUK? Ddu hit yr hed?

Mom: Ymay eadhay isway inefay. Infactway, I´mway avinghay ymay airhay oneday odaytay. Adday andway. Iway areway oingay outway interday at way outbackway. I´mway oinggay otay auntway atekay ifway eshay antsway otay ogag ithway usway.

Kayle: Mom put Dad on the phone. ("Proper English.")

Translate from Pig Latin to "Proper English" for those who forgot their Pig Latin from high school.

1. Huh? Are you sure you have the right mother?

2. My head is fine. In fact, I´m having my hair done today. Dad and I are going out to Outback for dinner. I´m going to ask Aunt Kate if she wants to go with us.