GEORGE W. BUSH MEETS MR. POTATO HEAD

I may not yet be considered the George Lerner of humor, but I wouldn't mind suffering the analogy when the history of wit & wisdom is said and done.

In 1951, Mr. Lerner invented Mr. Potato Head.

I was born in 1951.

(Bizarre coincidence, or a rendezvous with destiny? You be the judge.)

Fifty-six years later, inspired by another noteworthy George, I've coined the word: "Transplination™."

Like most great inventions, as with Mr. Lerner's brainchild, it arrived via misdirection and had been sitting there all the time, just waiting for the right vehicle to move it along.

I needed a word to define what our President thought he meant when he said what you thought you heard.

In George Lerner's case, after selling his tater toy to a cereal manufacturer for use as premium inserts, it met with limited success, and he bought the rights back, convinced that his spud king was destined for greater glory. He then sold it to Henry & Merrill Hassenfeld -- the visionary toy tuber promoters who later formed Hasbro, Inc.

The rest is Mr. Potato Head history, and some form of him is probably part of your toy cupboard, past & present.

George W. Bush is no less deserving of such a legacy, and because some form of him is in all our mental cupboards, I'm not one to shirk my duty. Thus, comes the:

TRANSPLINATION™: A translation of the explanation of a definition, from one language to the same language."

You will find my inventions, along with the Presidential potato head platitudes which prompted them, in my new book: "GEORGE W. BUSH – On The Trips Of His Tongue."

This is the linguistic legacy of the 43rd President of the United States - the man who believes that "Justice ought to be fair," and who is hell-bent on saving us from folks who "kill at the whim of a hat."

Remain calm, dear reader, because our enemies "never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

Take heart, because "there is no second-rate children in America." Lift your voices in celebration, just knowing that "America is what it is today because of what went on in the past."

After all, can a man who said: "I recognize that there are hurdles, and we're going to achieve those hurdles," be mindful of anything other than our best interests?

Doesn't a President who boasts that we're going to have a White House Forum in Washington, D.C., because "that's where the White House is," inspire you to think great thoughts?

And, if you believe that "We are ready for any unforeseen event which may or may not happen," and that doesn't fill your head with confidence and your heart with pride -- then you'll have the right book in your hands.

Mr. Bush would say that it should be indicted into the Humorist Hall of Fame, along with my inventions.

(One more curiosity: Henry & Merrill Hassenfeld were father & son. George H.W. Bush and George W. Bush are father & son. Bizarre destiny, or a rendezvous with coincidence? You be the judge.)

One-potato, two-potato ...

Now, my fellow Potato Heads & Transplinators: For your signed & dedicated First Edition copy of "GEORGE W. BUSH – On The Trips Of His Tongue," please write Elwin here or visit his website. $16.95 domestic, includes S&H. Unsigned editions are also now available at: Barnes & Noble.

A portion of every sale made via the author will go to support our troops.

Welcome home, thanks for playing, and vote as if your ballot depended on it.

Copyright 2007 B. Elwin Sherman. All rights reserved.