PARENTS NEED TO BE & MUST BE IN CONTROL

In our community there are still parents suffering because their children are out of control. It happens in the Latino family just as well. There is an organization that believes that drug and alcohol abuse, family violence, teen pregnancy, suicide, family dissolution, school dropouts, and runaways are problems created and maintained by the culture in which we live. TOUGHLOVE goals are to change the conditions of the culture by empowering people through a community based self-help programs.

Too many parents are guilty of abdicating their parental authority. Why is it that more and more teenagers are getting their way at home without any consequences for their actions? Our society has made some parents, whether single; divorced or married, act as if the child is the boss. Unfortunately, some of these parents feel as if they can no longer get the respect needed.

Why have some parents thrown in the towel? Have they forgotten what the elder generation did to maintain harmony and discipline? Do they remember how their grandparents got respect so naturally? What has happened? Is it that parent’s just want to be friends with their children? Is it that some of today’s parents feel that their children need to freely choose how they should live their lives? Do parents really need to break down under their children concerns about peer pressure and fads?

Why can’t some parents say “NO!” to green hair, body piercing, tattoos, long hair and pants that are purposely worn below the hips to show the underwear’s? How can some parents allow their children to go wherever and return whenever? Is this how they get away with missing family functions and church? Is weak parenting, allowing children to talk back, or behave rudely toward adults? The list can go on and on.

I think you might know some of this kids and even their parents. Kids, that think they are too old to be told, and too young to be on their own. Children that become the head of their household by intimidation and or making the parents feel like they no longer have any authority. We can even see some of this behavior in those over 18 still living with their parents with no responsibilities. Some love to sleep during the day and party at night. There are some that just are bumming around the house just kicking back listening to music or on the phone.

Many parents that have this type of children feel like hostages in their own homes. Why is it that these parents can look the other way while crying with deep pain inside because they know that they have lost control. A parent is a loving caregiver who uses both a heavy and soft hand. A parent is a communicator and listener. Parents are their child’s first teacher. They guide, and nourish, instill values, teach respect and obedience. They also pray with their child and teach that there are consequences for their actions.

For those parents who are feeling that enough is enough, I propose that you get involved with the non-profit organization known as ToughLove. This self-help organization provides ongoing education and active support to families, empowering parents and young people to accept responsibility for their actions. The ToughLove program is implemented through a network of local parent support groups. To get a ToughLove parent support group started, you need a core group of at least five parents willing to stay with it for at least three months.

These parents will get full support from the serviced center and a local ToughLove representative. For more information on ToughLove you can also call their National Headquarters at 215) 348-7090 or write to them at P O Box 1069 Doylestown, PA 18901.

You may see their website at: http://www.ToughLove.com

For those of you that are interested in a residential treatment center or boot camp for your child you may go to the following website: http://www.FamilyFirstAid.org

It is time for parents that are in this crisis to reclaim control. It hurts me to see children so out of control and parents so weak or scared. I feel a parent should always have authority and the respect of the child. So it is time to act once again with authority and love. But, please keep this in mind, that the bad behavior took a long time to develop and it will take time to reverse. So find a group if you are in this situation. Good Luck and God Bless.