AN INTERVIEW WITH...MISS ALICE
Miss Mae
March 07, 2007
Greetings to all cyberspace-nauts. I. B. Nosey here, your official unofficial reporter. Today I'm wandering through the land, wondering what news we can find, and whadda ya know? I see a little girlie up ahead.
Nosey: Hey, there. And what's your name?
Girl: I'm Alice. Who are you?
Nosey: Why, I. B. Nosey, of course. Your official unofficial...
Alice: Oh, yeah. I heard all that. What are you doing in Wonderland?
Nosey: Wonderland? So that's why I wandered in, is it? Say, you look like you're dressed up for a party.
Alice: Yes, a tea party at the Mad Hatter's. That is, if my date will arrive. He's always late!
Nosey: And who's your date?
Alice: That's a nosey question.
Nosey: I know. That's my name. I. B. Nosey, your official—
Alice: Yeah, yeah, we know all about that. Anyway, what was your question?
Nosey: I wondered who your escort is to the tea party?
Alice: Oh. Whitey, of course. But, like I said, he's always late. A body would think he couldn't tell time by how often he looks at his watch.
Nosey: How often does he look at it?
Alice: Every second of every minute, all day long! He checks it and says, 'Oh, I'm late, I'm late!' I just think the big clown never sets it right in the first place. Well, if he thinks I'm going to be late to this tea party, he can just get him a date with Mary Poppins.
Nosey: And who's that?
Alice: What's the matter with you? Don't you watch the movies? She's this dirty nanny that sails in from beyond on her grimy umbrella.
Nosey: Hmm. She doesn't sound very attractive.
Alice: Of course not. That's why Whitey can have her.
Voice calling: Oh, I'm late! I'm late! I'm very late!
Alice: Whitey! You made it!
Nosey: That's Whitey? Excuse me, but he's pink.
Alice: Why, he is! Very pink! Whitey, where have you been? Have you been skinny dipping in the cranberry bog again?
Whitey/Pink: No, my dear. Actually, I've been...Well, dear me, I think I've already been to a party. I have a splitting headache.
Nosey: Is that why you're wearing those shades? Kinda got a hangover from too much tea, perhaps?
Alice: And what's this on your back? Is that a drum? Whitey, what's been going on?
Nosey: Say, Alice, looks your date might have been the hit of the party. The shades, the drum, he's all pink. Yes, indeed. Quite an energized bunny here.
Whitey/Pink: Well, I do keep going and going, I must admit.
Alice: And so am I. Here I've been faithful and waiting on you like...well, a whole five minutes, and you've been at some other party. I'll never speak to you again, Whitey.
Whitey/Pink: Oh, dear, oh, dear. Don't go without me, Alice.
Nosey: And with that, this is I. B. Nosey turning it back over to you, Gander, in the control booth....
Copyright 2007 by Lula M. Thomas
Nosey: Hey, there. And what's your name?
Girl: I'm Alice. Who are you?
Nosey: Why, I. B. Nosey, of course. Your official unofficial...
Alice: Oh, yeah. I heard all that. What are you doing in Wonderland?
Nosey: Wonderland? So that's why I wandered in, is it? Say, you look like you're dressed up for a party.
Alice: Yes, a tea party at the Mad Hatter's. That is, if my date will arrive. He's always late!
Nosey: And who's your date?
Alice: That's a nosey question.
Nosey: I know. That's my name. I. B. Nosey, your official—
Alice: Yeah, yeah, we know all about that. Anyway, what was your question?
Nosey: I wondered who your escort is to the tea party?
Alice: Oh. Whitey, of course. But, like I said, he's always late. A body would think he couldn't tell time by how often he looks at his watch.
Nosey: How often does he look at it?
Alice: Every second of every minute, all day long! He checks it and says, 'Oh, I'm late, I'm late!' I just think the big clown never sets it right in the first place. Well, if he thinks I'm going to be late to this tea party, he can just get him a date with Mary Poppins.
Nosey: And who's that?
Alice: What's the matter with you? Don't you watch the movies? She's this dirty nanny that sails in from beyond on her grimy umbrella.
Nosey: Hmm. She doesn't sound very attractive.
Alice: Of course not. That's why Whitey can have her.
Voice calling: Oh, I'm late! I'm late! I'm very late!
Alice: Whitey! You made it!
Nosey: That's Whitey? Excuse me, but he's pink.
Alice: Why, he is! Very pink! Whitey, where have you been? Have you been skinny dipping in the cranberry bog again?
Whitey/Pink: No, my dear. Actually, I've been...Well, dear me, I think I've already been to a party. I have a splitting headache.
Nosey: Is that why you're wearing those shades? Kinda got a hangover from too much tea, perhaps?
Alice: And what's this on your back? Is that a drum? Whitey, what's been going on?
Nosey: Say, Alice, looks your date might have been the hit of the party. The shades, the drum, he's all pink. Yes, indeed. Quite an energized bunny here.
Whitey/Pink: Well, I do keep going and going, I must admit.
Alice: And so am I. Here I've been faithful and waiting on you like...well, a whole five minutes, and you've been at some other party. I'll never speak to you again, Whitey.
Whitey/Pink: Oh, dear, oh, dear. Don't go without me, Alice.
Nosey: And with that, this is I. B. Nosey turning it back over to you, Gander, in the control booth....
Copyright 2007 by Lula M. Thomas
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