Punctuate: a woman without her man is nothing

I wanted to put on a gown of rose petals and share with you pink dreams on scented paper; but instead of the sweet romantic piece I had in mind, I was driven by painful anger to defend women from the blows of Dr. Nick Neave. The evolutionary psychologist is convinced that women “are programmed to worry their men are going to abandon them … women may be richer and enjoy all the trappings of success but, deep down in their psyche, they fear they can't survive alone … they fear a drop in status or social standing that might come with divorce … women are more inclined to forgive an affair than a man … not because they're nicer, more easygoing individuals. It's simply because their primeval urge to hang onto a male provider is so strong … the thought of your husband having sex with another woman may be devastating. But even worse is the prospect of him pouring all his financial resources her way.”

Reading the doctor’s words triggered my resentment for Walt Disney, who fed us many a time lies about a long awaited prince charming who fights the monsters to free the little helpless princess from evil spells. He promised living happily ever after yet overlooked the affairs, breakups, make-ups, struggles, boredom, and challenges that rock, or wreck, many boats. Hallmark is next on my hit list; because of their cute cards, creative gifts, and heart warming poetry, we have to celebrate Valentine’s Day and unlucky tomboys, like my humble self, never get to send or receive any of their product lines. It is as though being brought up, and living, in a conservative Middle Eastern society is not enough to get me into an intellectual fist fight everyday with all males and most females who come my way, the good doctor had to add fuel to my living hell with his conclusions.

The article goes on: “In prehistoric times, women … needed the support and protection of men who didn't just have brute force but also had social status in the group, either through their sheer physicality or the strength of their personality … modern surveys consistently show that women today ape those inherent characteristics by looking for partners who are socially dominant and have the respect of their peers.” Did I get this right? Did the evolutionist refer to women as limp creepy social parasites who need to climb up a strong male trunk and suck the living sap out of him to survive? Will we wither and die if we are separated from our socially acceptable host? In short, we prefer being tied to a stake and stoned to death to getting out of a bad relationship, or marriage.

As if this was not enough to release my green-eyed monster, Dr. Neave shared with us another study by unnamed sociologists at Virginia University: “women who worked were more dissatisfied with their husbands than those who stayed at home (and) a survey by the Skipton Building Society concluded that many women who are the main breadwinner hold it against their partner for contributing less to the household budget than they do … happiest of all were women whose husbands brought in at least two-thirds of the household income … in short I suspect women will never feel truly comfortable earning more than their men. The need to rely on a man is driven by such a deep-seated biological urge.” How bad could this article get?

I am used to Middle Eastern men wanting to turn back time using religion or pleading protectiveness, but Dr. Neave threw the ball high up and it fell on the grounds of our biology – who could argue against that?! I just need to share a very interesting fact with the evolutionist; women need to look up to their man and independent women who have an established career need a man who delivers an added value. Compatibility has a final say when it comes to who is putting how much where and for how long. Moreover, a male partner who earns less is prone to insecurity attacks and minority complexes that would drive him to having affairs to prove his masculine caveman strength; hence, the women in the doctor’s research have developed a severe case of low self-esteem that could be traced back to a mentally and emotionally abusive partner – who earns less money.

Before Dr. Nick Neave rested his case, he came up with a joke of a conclusion: “while women may claim they are having cosmetic surgery and Botox treatments purely to feel better about themselves, I believe the reason is much more complex. Women are driven by a primeval urge to keep their men by looking youthful and fertile.” Now I am beyond livid and totally speechless. A woman, without her, man is nothing!