I'm So Angry I Could Kill!

Do you have an anger problem? Can you relate to the title of this article? I'm sure you get so angry at times that you just want to ring someone's neck, but luckily you don't! Do you find that your anger is out of control or perhaps you are angry most of the time instead of less of the time? Maybe you are around someone who is angry all of the time or their anger is out of control and it frightens you. If you or anyone you love is suffering from anger management problems, fret not because I am here to help. And per chance should my words of wisdom and inspiration fail to inspire and help, then it's okay to get angry with me... just kidding of course!

I have been asked on many occasion... Can anger be addictive? After working with individuals one on one in counseling and in groups, I would definitely have to say yes! In fact, in my recent book "What's Your Anger Type?" I address one of the 12 types of anger I identify as "Addictive Anger". There are people who get totally aroused, empowered and motivated by their anger. According to Hans Seyle, the creator of the "Fight or Flight" response phenomenon, people respond to adversity and emotions one of two ways. They either run from it, or they stand up to it. If you keep standing up to conflict or seek it, you get aroused and release adrenaline. This hormone provides a rush almost like a stimulant or "upper". After a while, some people get aroused by this feeling so much, they need it. You see it in sports where aggression is a requirement or by-product for success (football, boxing, hockey). It's their anger which moves them toward action.

I have found with clients I have worked with possessing this type of anger that when they are not engaging in conflict or getting angry, they are bored and sometimes even depressed. I have had some clients with alcohol addictions or who like going drinking at bars on the weekend do so because they hope to get into fights. This provides them with both a sense of excitement and power. Just as drugs provide someone with excitement and power, anger can become the same kind of stimulant.

There are so many different types of anger (I cite 12 in my new book What's Your Anger Type?) and the many, many reasons why people develop them. There are also many different types of addictions and many, many reasons why people become addicted to substances. There is however an underlying basic root or component which manifests something as addictive and why the addiction is maintained. That root is low self-esteem. To some degree, we all go through bouts of doubt in ourselves and low self-esteem. Most of us find ways to adapt and modify our self-concept so we can feel good again.

There are some people whose self-concept is so low they become depressed and stay in that mood/mindset. Some experts would assert that depression is actually anger turned inward. I would agree with this when an individual demonstrates masochistic traits and self-destructive tendencies. Those who display their depression outward and become aggressive may actually be masking their depression with anger. Anger becomes a coping mechanism. Just as some people use drugs and alcohol to cope, some people use anger. This becomes their vice!

I could spend pages discussing anger, its roots, types, causes and treatments and I have in my book "What's Your Anger Type?" If you want to learn more about it, please visit www.petersacco.com or your local bookstore. In the meantime, I will give you some info on anger by giving you the test from the book which I use with clients and also what type(s) of anger you might actually possess. Remember 2 important things... 1) Every one gets angry as it is a normal and healthy emotion, and 2) You are not nuts or insane when you get angry.

It is how you deal with your anger which is the most important factor. This book will also shed new light on Road Rage and Internet Rage. Perhaps you might have these as well.

Go to petersacco.com and take the What's Your Anger Type? test and see what degree of anger you have and what types of anger you possess. It's already the New Year 2007 and there's no time like the present to modify your life and make optimal living your goal.