The Bear's Den: "Monkey Business"

Man oh man, where´s Tarzan when we need him? There´s a Cheeta-like mentality in Washington and it´s being copied in most every city everywhere. I mean, when somebody does something – everybody else will mimic it, regardless of how inane and dangerous it is. It´s nuts. Yep. If ever those old phrases "monkey see… monkey do" and "monkey business" were apropos, then it´s today in this country. You bet´cha, and the avenue of escape for the perpetrators may just be getting narrower and narrower.

There´s a joke going around that goes this-a-way: a man applied for a permit to erect a building in an urban setting – one with massive historic American significance. It would be 100 ft tall, 400 ft wide with 9 turrets at various heights and windows all over the place. It would have a loud outside entertainment sound system that would broadcast extremely loud yodels every evening. He´d need a variance for this, etc. It would have parking for 200 cars and it would be painted gaudy green with garishly pink trim. The City Council disgustedly told him to take a hike and declined his permit. So, he resubmitted the application, but this time he called it a Muslim Mosque. Work starts on Monday and the variance for the P.A. system won´t be a problem.

Um-hmm, if that ain´t monkey-see – monkey-do, then I don´t know what is. It reminds of my cousin Bruce and his experience with monkeys. Before being drafted, Cousin Bruce bought a little spider monkey from a Carny guy. He just called it "monkey" and I remember the little dude tethered to a long lead on the clothesline in my uncle´s back yard. My Cuz doesn´t have as much Indian blood as me; the monkey liked him just fine but it didn´t like me or my brothers much. Bruce never knew why, not until he went to Viet Nam, anyway. Bruce was a welder, assigned to the 403rd Maintenance Battalion of the 4th Infantry Division. When he was in the jungle, there were spider monkeys everywhere, and, before long, Bruce had one as a pet. He said that the little guy would bite any soldier that was dark complexioned – he didn´t like them at all. It didn´t matter if they were Mexican, Hawaiian, Black or American Indian – he´d bite them and run away. Then Bruce learned that the reason the monkeys over there disliked dark-skinned folks so much is because the Vietnamese eat monkeys and the banana eaters instinctively know it.

That got me to thinking about color and how it pertains to all the monkey business going on these days. It seems that everybody is distancing themselves from Obama and the ´color´ that he and many in Congress represent – that rather vituperative, excessive, and progressive shade of… "Liberal Blue". I pondered all of this the other day while listening to a buddy of mine named Gez as he relayed a war story. He was a Marine Infantry Reservist, called up during the 1st Gulf War back in 1990. His reserve unit in Grand Rapids, Michigan, was sent to the Philippines. There is a pretty virulent Muslim terrorist group active in that country. He explained how, every morning, his first sergeant would leave the mess hall, stand in front of the jungle, puff-up his chest, and husk his arms like a body-builder. Then he would bend over, bare his teeth and growl loudly. Yes´sir, and every monkey in the vicinity would jump out of the trees and chase him back to the door of his hootch. See, to a troop of monkeys, someone puffing up and baring their teeth is a physical challenge, and the monkeys had taken him up on it.

Gez said that they never caught the Marine, but he warned the guy, as one sergeant to another, that one of these times… they might. They kept getting closer all of the time. Gez reminded him that if they ever did catch him, they´d sure hurt him, badly, if they didn´t kill him. Monkeys are stronger than a man and have killed humans. But Gez said that for that guy, it was just something to do in a sometimes boring wartime setting. And besides, he outranked Gez. For me, Gez´s story is eerily similar to what the Left has been doing in this country since the last presidential election. They´ve been challenging common-sense Americans with their monkey business to the ´enth degree, and then trying to salve the situation with a ´monkey see – monkey do´ attitude. Uh-huh, well, like the monkeys in Gez´s story, the troop in this land… may just get to the liberals before they can get to that door, too.

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David Walks-As-Bear is an Inter-Tribal Elder and Kispoko Shawnee Indian. He works as a private game warden and detective and is a novelist and syndicated newspaper columnist living in Northwest Michigan. Contact him at his home paper The White Lake Beacon: 231-894-5356 or visit his website at: www.Walks-As-Bear.com

Hear David´s brief "Traditional Elder´s Reflections" Mon-Fri, after the 10:00AM and 4:00PM (EST) news on the radio. Go to: www.hometownradio.us and click WEEH-FM.

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