OVER THE RAINBOW

Myron Edwards
Somewhere over the rainbow

It could have been Kansas or Nevada, but for Dot it didn't really matter where she was, she wanted to find another place to be at that moment. Her whole life had changed since the announcement of the new law that forbids her to play her favourite game online.

Poor Dot where would she go now to find the thrills that she had found with her friends online? The tables were well and truly turned against her and that nasty Mr. Bushy was no friend to Dot.

After all why couldn't she play whenever and wherever she wanted, but Mr. Bushy wouldn't allow that, no siree, he sure was mean to Dot and to all her friends?

What she needed to do was to get away, far away and take her chances somewhere else, leaving though would be a bit of a wrench but she needed to go

If only there was a place, where she could, to be free to do what she wanted? She knew of a place across the sea that she had heard of, or had she dreamed it, and it was a long way away she was sure of that.

But now the swell of public opinion was getting mighty strong there certainly was a storm brewing she best get away from here. She ran as quick as she could, as she ran in the clouds above her she began to see shapes, one was of her PC as it crashed to the floor, another was of her home being repossessed because there was no money to pay for anything as the depression set in and then there was that horrible Mr. Bushy riding on a big black bicycle across the sky, writing with his pen in huge black letters Surrender DOT.

"I have to get away I have to get away…..

When Dot woke she woke to a new world where everything seemed to be upside down…where was she? Then in a twinkle she realized she was in Oz.

Ozstralia, where she hoped she would find the answers to her problem.

"G' Day sweetie… A tall bushman with short Kaki trousers emerged from behind a tree…. "Welcome to Oz luv. I see you have already met the Queen of the East…you have made quite an impression on him, your lap top seems to have flattened him"

"Oh I didn't mean to do anything I was just running away when suddenly I ended up here…where am I?

"Oz my old darling this is Oz and you have just knocked off the wicked Queen of the East so all the Ozkins are going to have a party.

Mind you you'll have to watch out now for the Bush Queen oh He will be hopping mad, once he learns what you have done. Anyway I best be off back to the swamps".

"Oh before you go can you tell me how I can get back to my home? Asked Dot.

"That's tricky there's really only one person who can help you, the Wizard?

"Wizard?"

"Yes, the wizard of Oz, he's the only one wise enough to be able to get you back."

"Where do I find this wizard?"

"You gotta follow the road, the one with the yellow lines…"

"The yellow brick road?"

"No not that one…the yellow line road that will take you directly."

"Oh thanks, thanks very much"

"Oh and you better take these they will protect you against most of the Bush Queen's magic"...

Dot's shoes vanished and her feet sparkled as she received a pair of shiny new pink sandals.

"Thank you". And Dot set off down the yellow lined road towards the Wizard.

She had only been walking for a few minutes when she stopped at a cross roads.

"Which way shall I go now?" She pondered and a small voice whispered behind her,

"Pardon me but that's a nice way"

"Who said that?" She looked around.

"Or you could go that way."

Dot looked behind her, left then right and saw a straw man in a field, he was

similar to a politician she had seen on the TV.

"My names Jack…but I don't know if I can help you, you see I have no way to make my mind up."

"You mean you can't decide on anything?" Asked Dot candidly.

"Fraid so."

"I am going to see the Wizard maybe he can help you, would you like to come with me?"

"I am not sure what should I say now."

"Don't worry I will make your mind up for you, its yes."

"Ok then, let's go. I think." said the straw man.

The two sat off in the direction of the Wizard again, little did they now that they we're being watched by someone.

A short while later they came to a field, where an arcade machine man stood rusting by the fence.

"Oh he looks sad, maybe we can help him?

"I don't know maybe we could maybe we shouldn't I can't decide, said Jack.

"Look I will switch him on and see if that helps." Arcade man spluttered into life as his lights and buzzers flashed.

"Oh thank you… thank you… I haven't been turned on like this since my last jackpot… thank you."

"My names Dot and this is Jack we're going to see the wizard" Maybe there's something he can also do for you".

"No. I don't think so, not since the Bush Queen stopped me with that new law,

I got turned off because people weren't interested in playing games anymore. So I got sent here, to rust. If only I had some credits I could become alive again. The arcade man looked forlorn

"Maybe the wizard could give you some, why don't you come with us and see?

So Dot and her two companions set off to find the Wizard, almost at once they were in a forest, a great big forest that was full of giant playing cards,

from behind one of these cards sprang a character dressed as a Joker…

"Come on come, make me laugh huh….come come on….give it your best shot…

"Dot…leave us alone…it's not funny jumping out like that shame on you."

The Joker bursts into tears.

"I know I know it's not funny that is the trouble I am just not laughing anymore"

Dot moved closer to Joker and put her am around him, we are going to see the Wizard.. Would you like to come, maybe he can get your sense of humour back so you can laugh again.

"Can I oh shucks that's really good of you; I won't be no trouble promise. If I can get my sense of humour back, then maybe I can join the pack again. The Joker smiled.

Dot and her four companions made their way towards the city, from the road they could see the tall Trump like towers that stretched towards the rainbow that arched above them.

They reached the city just as the doors were closing.

"Oh wait please…don't shut the doors yet." Dot shouted.

The four ran towards the city doors and banged loudly.

The letter box opened and a voice uttered from behind it.

"What do you want?"

"We want to see the wizard?"

"We'll you can't he's gone away? Forever?"

"Please let us in we're here to see him, we need his help?"

The straw man shouted first "I need to be more decisive" I think.

Followed by the arcade man I need some credit, and I need to laugh again,

came the sharp retort from the joker.

"And I need to go home". Dot started to cry.

"Now now stop that. I will let you in…it's just these days getting in to see the wizard isn't easy, since they passed that bill, he doesn't see anybody anymore, says he won't ever go online again… so maybe you can help him too?" The door swung open and the city of Oz with all it's upside down people greeted the intrepid four.

Dot stood on her hands supported by Jack who closed his eyes as Dot's skirt exposed her bare legs and pink knickers.

"Oh my" said the doorman and pressed the upside down switch which put everybody the right way up.

Dot was back on her feet. From up above her a black cloud rose high over the city, as the Bush Queen pedaled across the sky…TURN BACK DOT YOU'LL BE SORRY the black letters spelled out.

Shaking the Joker began to weep, Straw Man cradled Dot a little too closely for comfort, and Arcade Man flashed his fading lights.

"Please we have to see the wizard." They all pleaded.

"Yes, we had better do that." Was the reply from the door man?

The door man took them down a long corridor, at the end of which stood a large wooden door, he knocked three times and the door opened slowly.

A bellowing voice greeted the arrival of the four adventurers.


"Well?"

"Please sir, your greatness…"

"I know why you are here…come closer?"

"Please…Dot continued.

"Do you presume that I the wizard should not know the purpose of your visit, you are wrong to assume that, as indeed the gambling fraternity was when they thought that they could exist in a land of no regulation and openness?"

"Yes sir."

"Stop shaking Joker said Straw Man.

"I can't help it .I want to laugh but can't." whispered Joker.

"You have to do something for me first before I answer your requests." bellowed the wizard.

"What is it?" Queried Dot.

"You have to get the pen of the Bush Queen the very same pen that condemned the gaming industry online to a slow and painful death.

"We will your greatness we will, thank you". Dot curtsied away with the others.

"Be back before the next amendment." echoed the wizard.

The way to the Bush Queen's House was a long and treacherous ones, Dot took small steps so as to avoid the cracks in the legislation papers that littered the path. She crept slowly through the House of Representatives and along the corridors of power. There were two senators on guard, but she got past them. Straw Man had started to fade and Arcade Man needed a top up, Joker

hid from sight, scared to appear in front of a live audience.

Dot entered what looked like an egg shaped room; there was a large walnut coloured chest in front of her and a glass cabinet she looked around to see

where the Bush Queen had put the pen.

It was in a glass box, she moved closer to the box and as she opened it, the boney sweaty hands of the Bush Queen grabbed her.

"Stealing my pretty?" The shrill Texican voice squealed out at Dot.

"No I am just trying to take back what you stole from all my friends when you signed that stupid law."

"We'll you can't rub it out now…it's done and that's it and now it's my turn to do you." "But first I want those sandals"

The Bush Queen grabbed hold of Dot's legs and then her thighs and ran his horrible hands down toward her feet.

"Take them off now." The Bush Queen grabbed them but they were stuck.

"Alright then, I will have to get rid of you, first before I can take them for myself."

"Leave Dot alone." Straw Man screamed, the two others stood proudly beside him.

"Oh the three of you against the might of congress, that is some contest." Bush Queen laughed.

Joker stepped forward…

"It's not funny." Joker grabbed hold of the pen and started throwing it around the room; the Bush Queen chased them as one by one the pen was passed from companion to companion. Dot held it tight in her hand and picked up a bottle of blue ink, which she aimed at the Bush Queen's head, the bottle hit the Bush Queen full on the temple and the Bush Queen fell to the ground. blue Ink running down his head.

"Look he's disappearing."

"Perhaps after November said Straw Man.

"Now that's funny and the Joker began to laugh"

Back in Oz – The celebrations continued long into the night.

The next day Dot and her friends went to see the wizard.

He was even louder than before...

"So you have returned eh, even before the mid term, and I see you have the Bush Queen's pen with you. Well go away".

"But we have done what you asked and you need to live up to your promises, insisted Dot.

"I do not…"

"Oh yes you do." They all, shouted back.

"I do not…"

"Oh yes you do …stop this, it's not pantomime season yet." Shouted Dot above the noise.

"Yes your right Dot" came the wizard's short reply.

"We'll can you help us?"

The curtain opened and a short Australian Prime Minister emerged.

"You're… Dot was shocked as were her companions…you're not a wizard at all.

"Well some people think I am, but no you're right I am just a man who passes laws and I think I can help you, but first let me see what I can do for your friends here".

"Step forward Straw Man. You are a man who can't decide right. This is not a

problem all you need is a confirmation… so by the power invested in me I hereby bestow upon you the order of the ballot; this will give you the power of decision, with the ability to vote in local or general elections.

Straw Man retorts with the phrase.

"I am going to vote for the party that offers the best social services and can keep inflation down and the balance of payments up". Oh thank you sir."

"Now Arcade Man, you say you don't have any credit, we'll the value of a machine or a man is measured by the worth of his investment, therefore by the power invested in me, you are hereby awarded a cashing account which will allow your players to play you online at anytime, so that they can deposit credit whenever and wherever they want too. And remember my friend your value can't only be counted in credits, but in the value you bring to your players."

Now Joker, you say you don't have a sense of humor… we'll the only thing that you need is a joke book… so I have by the power invested in me prepared for you a pocket edition of the Unlawful Gambling Laws for the internet… read it and you will see how funny it is".

"Look, it says here that bingo and lottery are not games of chance but poker is! Ain't it the truth, ain't it the truth" Joker begins to laugh and then rolls around the floor in hysterics.

"I don't suppose you can help me?"

"Well Dot, you want to go home, but what you don't realize is that you're already there, because playing at home is the same as playing online, it's just a matter of distance. What you need Dot is a new game to play, and a game that brings you closer to home, there's only one I think that fits the bill.

Poker won't do it or Roulette or Black Jack, No Dot, there's only one game for you and that's backgammon".

"Backgammon of course… I played it once but I wasn't very good."

"Well now you can play all the time online and you can learn at the schools I will teach you if you like."

"Will you will you really show me." Dot was almost in tears.

" Yes…but first we need to get you a new PC, so by the power invested in me I hereby bestow on you this new 8 giga bit with internet and CD Rom and DVD burner for you to play with"

"Oh thank you, thank you".

"Now you must decide. You can stay in Oz and play it's all legal here and the Bush Queens laws have no power here, or you can go back to Kansas and play online.

"Don't go Dot stay with us and play." Her friends looked sad.

"I'm sorry but I must go… I am going to miss you all. we have had so much fun play together and it hasn't cost me a dime."

"Oh I am going to start crying again."

"No Joker you mustn't.

"I would never had been able to power up, if it hadn't been for you Dot."

"Dot don't go please."

"Oh. I am going to miss you the most Straw Man."

"I have decided that this is a good idea…but it still hurts." Straw Man let his hand go from Dot's hand.

Are you ready Dot? The Prime Minster offered his hand to her.

"Yes."

"Then all you need do is switch your PC on and enter play backgammon and move to your home board.

"Oh…ok bye all…Dot waved to them all and the population of Oz now gathered behind them, waved back.

"Now Dot just repeat after me there's no place like Home Board there's no place like Home Board….Dot began to say the words.

"There's no place like Home Board there's no place like home board.

Dot returned to Kansas, but the law that had sent her away in the first place was still in operation, nothing had changed except Dot had found a new

home to play at, one she knew she would be happy to play at for the rest of her life.

Because as she has so eloquently stated there's no place like Home Board, even if you have to travel over the rainbow to find it.

Find Dot's answer at www.p65.com and sign up to play
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Myron Edwards

One time freelance BBC comedy scriptwriter and copywriter for JWT London, living in Cyprus married to Niki with three kids Craig 21 Alex 18 and Emily 11. Creative Director for a leading Cypriot AD Agency .

The Mistress of the Rock is my first novel.

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