Joys and Fears of Pregnancy
Laurie Wing
October 23, 2006
To be honest, it takes a while for the reality of being pregnant to sink in. Your pregnancy test shows positive, you are glowing and feeling great about your news and most importantly, you are having a baby! Then the reality hits and we sometimes let the unknown fears about pregnancy outweigh the joys we can experience during this miraculous time.
A little baby is coming into your world and you will be responsible for this little angel who will rely on you to do everything for him/her. You suddenly feel a combination of overwhelming feelings. Then the concerns begin. Will the baby have all 10 fingers and 10 toes? How will this new baby impact my life, my career, my relationship with my partner? Will the baby be healthy? How much weight will I gain and will I ever regain my original shape? Will I get the epidural? Will I store the baby’s cord blood? Will I experience postpartum depression? Where do we begin?
Will I ever fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes again?” Yvonne Czarniak, mother of two children and owner of Prenatal Comforts (www.prenatalcomforts.com) wondered, “I worried that I would never go back to my old size again after gaining my pregnancy weight. How does the body do that? I gained 40 pounds during my first pregnancy. I went from 130 to 170 pounds and I just couldn't imagine being 130 again. It took awhile, but yes I did fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes again. The body is amazing and the clothes fit!”
Pregnant? Not now, not again.” says Tara Paterson, expectant mother with two children and founder of www.justformom.com who was recently surprised by the news of her third pregnancy. After being on an emotional rollercoaster for a little over a month, Tara decided to take a pregnancy test which was negative. She tossed the test into the cupboard and left for a business trip. When Tara returned to throw away the pregnancy test, she saw the faint line in the box that reads you’re pregnant. This called for another test. Sure enough, the result was positive. Tara says, “A rush of emotion came over me as the ‘how will we do this’ questions raced through my mind. We will need to get a bigger car, our two boys will have to share a room, how will we afford another child, what about my work? I walked around in shock, crying at the thought of going through pregnancy again. I wish I could say the news left me feeling blissfully happy, but the truth is I wasn’t. I was very comfortable with my life, my husband, my two beautiful boys and my work. I even went so far as to buy two more tests for that one possible chance one could challenge the verdict. The result, I am still pregnant. I am beginning to settle with the new course my life has taken and I know in time I will be blissfully happy, but for now I need to accept and go with my feelings, let go of the what ifs and let nature take its course. In the end, it really isn’t up to me and what will be, will be!”
Nearly every expectant mom (and dad!) experience a combination of anxiety and anticipation as they prepare to welcome their new baby into their world. Although the mom-to-be has many fears, men are also concerned about their future, the financial aspects of having a baby and the health of his partner, while the woman is more tuned in to the fear of miscarriage and the health of the baby. Here are a few of the common fears that dads-to-be may feel during the build up to fatherhood.
Will my partner gain too much weight during pregnancy and will she lose it after the pregnancy. Will I want to have sex after watching the delivery? Will I faint after the delivery? How will this affect our financial future? Will I be a good dad? Will my partner experience postpartum depression and if so, how do I deal with it?
Postpartum depression affects 20% of all postpartum women. That means one out of every five women who give birth will experience a clinical depression.” Says Karen Kleiman, MSW and Executive Director of the Postpartum Stress Center in Rosemont, Pennsylvania.
I would love to help alleviate the fears of pregnant women and their partners, regarding postpartum depression,” says Kleiman “but frankly, I'm more worried about the women who think it will never happen to me. It is far more prudent for women to understand what postpartum depression is and how best to fortify their resources so they are prepared and are in a position to protect themselves. Women who are prepared will typically feel more in control and less anxious as they move into the postpartum period. The best thing for women to do is to be proactive. For more information about postpartum depression, you can visit the Postpartum Stress Center’s website: http://www.postpartumstress.com/
Whatever your worries might be, it is important to educate yourself and gather as much information about pregnancy and your future to help deal with your worry and fears. Following your practitioner’s orders, attending pregnancy and childbirth classes, talking with others who have been pregnant can also help alleviate the unknown worries. “The more knowledge the mom and dad-to-be have, the less they will fear the unknown.” Kleiman adds.
Today there are so many books available on pregnancy and childbirth to help answer a lot of your questions and concerns. Journaling during pregnancy is a wonderful way to help you recognize and deal with your concerns. Here are just a few of the many books I have found to be comprehensive, informational and sometimes fun!
WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU ARE EXPECTING is still on nearly every mom-to-be's reading list and packed with answers to hundreds of questions and worries expectant parents may have.
THE PREGNANCY JOURNAL: A Day-To-Day Guide to a Healthy and Happy Pregnancy - practical information, medical data, emotional and spiritual fuel, and even "pregnancy trivia” and the magical development of your growing baby. It is recommended that you have a blank journal or a guided journal to accompany The Pregnancy Journal.
BUTTERFLIES & HICCUPS: A GUIDED PREGNANCY JOURNAL FOR THE NEW MOM-TO-BE This 180-page journal beautifully illustrates the miracle of pregnancy with such grace and charm. Each month contains thought-provoking questions that prompts the new mother-to-be (and father!) to capture the most important moments of pregnancy with plenty of room to record practitioner visits, baby's development, the physical changes and symptoms as well as special circumstances during pregnancy plus room for pictures and ultrasounds!
JOYS OF PREGNANCY! Although moms and dads-to-be experience fears during pregnancy, we also experience the many joys that come with pregnancy. After all, this is one of the most miraculous times you will ever experience in your life! You and your spouse created a little baby together!
BEING PREGNANT TWO TIMES FEELS COMPLETE!” says Liza Elliott-Ramirez, mother of two and President of Expecting Models Inc. (www.expectingmodels.com) as Liza focuses on the joys of her pregnancy, she shares, “Both pregnancies felt like forever but in hindsight I realize they grow faster outside of you than inside. I loved remembering the first time I ever looked into both their faces. I kissed their lips. It was love at first sight. True love that warms your heart and only grows bigger. Being pregnant is the most courageous thing I've ever done. It takes a strong women. I tip my hat to all of us!”
Tammie Aaron-Barrada, mother of two was very fearful during her pregnancies but they were the most fulfilling experiences in her life. Tammie has two beautiful children and she felt God finally granted her husband’s wish to have children of his own before he passed away from cancer when they were two and three years old. Tammie’s husband was told he was sterile his entire life. Tammie met her husband when he was 47 years old. Her husband’s dream was to always have children of his own. Much to Tammie’s surprise, she became pregnant. Although she experienced a high risk pregnancy and was told she would miscarry, she gave birth to a healthy beautiful baby boy. One week after Tammie finished breastfeeding her nine-month old son, she was pregnant again. This time on bedrest but that didn’t stop a healthy baby girl from entering their world. Although Tammie had many fears and complications during her pregnancies, the end results were worth it! Not only does Tammie have two beautiful reminders of her husband everyday but her children inspired her to turn her potty training reward system which she used successfully on her two children into a thriving business which allows her to work from home to be with her children. For more information about PottieStickers, visit Tammie’s website at www.PottieStickers.com.
Although I was on bedrest during both of my pregnancies, I can look back and think about every time I felt my each of my babies move or hiccup inside of me, the first ultrasound picture, watching my belly grow as they were developing inside of me or imagining our future together. It makes me realize that for each uncomfortable experience or unknown fear I experienced, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love my children and can’t imagine life without them. What other miracles compare to creating a baby, then raising them to be wonderful children? All of these moments are special and should be memorable. So, try to take each day at a time trying to focus on your beautiful creation and know that the rest will come to you, in time.
A little baby is coming into your world and you will be responsible for this little angel who will rely on you to do everything for him/her. You suddenly feel a combination of overwhelming feelings. Then the concerns begin. Will the baby have all 10 fingers and 10 toes? How will this new baby impact my life, my career, my relationship with my partner? Will the baby be healthy? How much weight will I gain and will I ever regain my original shape? Will I get the epidural? Will I store the baby’s cord blood? Will I experience postpartum depression? Where do we begin?
Will I ever fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes again?” Yvonne Czarniak, mother of two children and owner of Prenatal Comforts (www.prenatalcomforts.com) wondered, “I worried that I would never go back to my old size again after gaining my pregnancy weight. How does the body do that? I gained 40 pounds during my first pregnancy. I went from 130 to 170 pounds and I just couldn't imagine being 130 again. It took awhile, but yes I did fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes again. The body is amazing and the clothes fit!”
Pregnant? Not now, not again.” says Tara Paterson, expectant mother with two children and founder of www.justformom.com who was recently surprised by the news of her third pregnancy. After being on an emotional rollercoaster for a little over a month, Tara decided to take a pregnancy test which was negative. She tossed the test into the cupboard and left for a business trip. When Tara returned to throw away the pregnancy test, she saw the faint line in the box that reads you’re pregnant. This called for another test. Sure enough, the result was positive. Tara says, “A rush of emotion came over me as the ‘how will we do this’ questions raced through my mind. We will need to get a bigger car, our two boys will have to share a room, how will we afford another child, what about my work? I walked around in shock, crying at the thought of going through pregnancy again. I wish I could say the news left me feeling blissfully happy, but the truth is I wasn’t. I was very comfortable with my life, my husband, my two beautiful boys and my work. I even went so far as to buy two more tests for that one possible chance one could challenge the verdict. The result, I am still pregnant. I am beginning to settle with the new course my life has taken and I know in time I will be blissfully happy, but for now I need to accept and go with my feelings, let go of the what ifs and let nature take its course. In the end, it really isn’t up to me and what will be, will be!”
Nearly every expectant mom (and dad!) experience a combination of anxiety and anticipation as they prepare to welcome their new baby into their world. Although the mom-to-be has many fears, men are also concerned about their future, the financial aspects of having a baby and the health of his partner, while the woman is more tuned in to the fear of miscarriage and the health of the baby. Here are a few of the common fears that dads-to-be may feel during the build up to fatherhood.
Will my partner gain too much weight during pregnancy and will she lose it after the pregnancy. Will I want to have sex after watching the delivery? Will I faint after the delivery? How will this affect our financial future? Will I be a good dad? Will my partner experience postpartum depression and if so, how do I deal with it?
Postpartum depression affects 20% of all postpartum women. That means one out of every five women who give birth will experience a clinical depression.” Says Karen Kleiman, MSW and Executive Director of the Postpartum Stress Center in Rosemont, Pennsylvania.
I would love to help alleviate the fears of pregnant women and their partners, regarding postpartum depression,” says Kleiman “but frankly, I'm more worried about the women who think it will never happen to me. It is far more prudent for women to understand what postpartum depression is and how best to fortify their resources so they are prepared and are in a position to protect themselves. Women who are prepared will typically feel more in control and less anxious as they move into the postpartum period. The best thing for women to do is to be proactive. For more information about postpartum depression, you can visit the Postpartum Stress Center’s website: http://www.postpartumstress.com/
Whatever your worries might be, it is important to educate yourself and gather as much information about pregnancy and your future to help deal with your worry and fears. Following your practitioner’s orders, attending pregnancy and childbirth classes, talking with others who have been pregnant can also help alleviate the unknown worries. “The more knowledge the mom and dad-to-be have, the less they will fear the unknown.” Kleiman adds.
Today there are so many books available on pregnancy and childbirth to help answer a lot of your questions and concerns. Journaling during pregnancy is a wonderful way to help you recognize and deal with your concerns. Here are just a few of the many books I have found to be comprehensive, informational and sometimes fun!
WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU ARE EXPECTING is still on nearly every mom-to-be's reading list and packed with answers to hundreds of questions and worries expectant parents may have.
THE PREGNANCY JOURNAL: A Day-To-Day Guide to a Healthy and Happy Pregnancy - practical information, medical data, emotional and spiritual fuel, and even "pregnancy trivia” and the magical development of your growing baby. It is recommended that you have a blank journal or a guided journal to accompany The Pregnancy Journal.
BUTTERFLIES & HICCUPS: A GUIDED PREGNANCY JOURNAL FOR THE NEW MOM-TO-BE This 180-page journal beautifully illustrates the miracle of pregnancy with such grace and charm. Each month contains thought-provoking questions that prompts the new mother-to-be (and father!) to capture the most important moments of pregnancy with plenty of room to record practitioner visits, baby's development, the physical changes and symptoms as well as special circumstances during pregnancy plus room for pictures and ultrasounds!
JOYS OF PREGNANCY! Although moms and dads-to-be experience fears during pregnancy, we also experience the many joys that come with pregnancy. After all, this is one of the most miraculous times you will ever experience in your life! You and your spouse created a little baby together!
BEING PREGNANT TWO TIMES FEELS COMPLETE!” says Liza Elliott-Ramirez, mother of two and President of Expecting Models Inc. (www.expectingmodels.com) as Liza focuses on the joys of her pregnancy, she shares, “Both pregnancies felt like forever but in hindsight I realize they grow faster outside of you than inside. I loved remembering the first time I ever looked into both their faces. I kissed their lips. It was love at first sight. True love that warms your heart and only grows bigger. Being pregnant is the most courageous thing I've ever done. It takes a strong women. I tip my hat to all of us!”
Tammie Aaron-Barrada, mother of two was very fearful during her pregnancies but they were the most fulfilling experiences in her life. Tammie has two beautiful children and she felt God finally granted her husband’s wish to have children of his own before he passed away from cancer when they were two and three years old. Tammie’s husband was told he was sterile his entire life. Tammie met her husband when he was 47 years old. Her husband’s dream was to always have children of his own. Much to Tammie’s surprise, she became pregnant. Although she experienced a high risk pregnancy and was told she would miscarry, she gave birth to a healthy beautiful baby boy. One week after Tammie finished breastfeeding her nine-month old son, she was pregnant again. This time on bedrest but that didn’t stop a healthy baby girl from entering their world. Although Tammie had many fears and complications during her pregnancies, the end results were worth it! Not only does Tammie have two beautiful reminders of her husband everyday but her children inspired her to turn her potty training reward system which she used successfully on her two children into a thriving business which allows her to work from home to be with her children. For more information about PottieStickers, visit Tammie’s website at www.PottieStickers.com.
Although I was on bedrest during both of my pregnancies, I can look back and think about every time I felt my each of my babies move or hiccup inside of me, the first ultrasound picture, watching my belly grow as they were developing inside of me or imagining our future together. It makes me realize that for each uncomfortable experience or unknown fear I experienced, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love my children and can’t imagine life without them. What other miracles compare to creating a baby, then raising them to be wonderful children? All of these moments are special and should be memorable. So, try to take each day at a time trying to focus on your beautiful creation and know that the rest will come to you, in time.
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