Help for Teenagers W/ Behavioral Problems: First Step to Recovery Is a Sex-Specific Treatment Center

www.birdseyertc.com

Many adolescents begin treatment in denial of the impact that their sexual problems have had on their short life. Teens have a sense or know that acting-out sexually is wrong but often minimize how their problem has progressed to the point it is unmanageable. It is like the metaphor of a frog in a pot of water. If the water is hot the frog jumps out immediately, but if the heat is raised slowly on the pot of water the frog will not recognize the danger and perish. Addicts often don´t see that their sexual problems are getting worse. They become adversely skilled at ignoring the signs and distorting their thoughts to justify continuing to act-out their sexual fantasies.

As with most addictive behaviors, sexual problems are hidden from others due to the youth´s sense of shame about what they have done, doubting their ability to change, feelings that they are a damaged or a flawed person, fear of disappointing their parents, and/or not having healthy alternatives to use to cope with life. Reaching out from this place can be difficult to impossible if a person doesn´t feel safe enough to risk without feeling judged.

Unlike substance abuse, however, sexual problems are acted out alone or with the person who is the target of their abuse. Additionally, since most youth with sexually dependent behavioral problems watch pornography alone to escape into sexual fantasy, it is understandable that they report feelings of not being understood, of loneliness and isolation.

In Patrick Carnes´ book, Out of the Shadows, referring to sharing the personal history of a sexual addict he states, "it (sexual history) is too painful to prepare alone." Support from other teens with sexual problems, family, and therapist gives the adolescent the strength to complete the difficult task of looking at his behavior honestly.

As long as the teenager with sexual problems feels powerless to change or blames problems on other people or events, he will not change; but by sharing in a supportive environment the teen is given the opportunity to shift from denial of the problem to taking personal responsibility. As with any of us, the teen´s realization that he has responsibility for the problems in his life continuing to be problematic means he has the power to change. This cognitive shift is significant. It creates a sense of hope for the teenager and the people who care about him. Creating a sense of hope that change is possible is the first step to recovery.

The type of therapeutic environment has a powerful effect on the adolescent´s willingness to change. One of the best places to achieve a feeling that it is safe to risk is in a specialized residential treatment center that focuses on sexual behavior problems of adolescents. One example can be found by looking on www.birdseyertc.com. Especially with teenagers, once they can see others changing they will be more likely to follow. By sharing his sexual history with others who aren´t judging and who understand the problem, the youth finds the courage to open doors to change that once seemed hopelessly closed.