Frigid relations

There is a conflict still brewing just north of Baffin Bay, the ripples of which could upset the balance of . . . oh, I don't know . . . a surfer?

The conflict is between polite power houses Canada and Denmark over Hans Island, a 1.3 kilometer dot nestled between the two much larger land masses of Ellesmere Island and Greenland. By the way, that converts to 0.5019328 square miles. Opinions have been bubbling near the surface on this issue since 1973 when both countries drew a dividing line halfway between Ellesmere and Greenland. The problem was, tiny Hans ended up on the line, so in a quick decisive move, the two countries decided to . . . uh . . . put the matter off 'til later.

The reason this issue has risen to the surface is because Canada's Defense Minister, Bill Graham had the audacity to . . . uh . . . take a stroll on the island. This infuriated the Danes so much that some believe it could escalate to a full blown letter writing campaign. And it's not the first time the two countries have taken up ink pens against each other. Back in 1984, the Danes went so far as to bury a bottle of brandy. Canadians almost frowned. Bury a bottle? There's barely enough room to take a stroll!

How far will it go? Will the Great White North and the hamlet of Hamlet fly in Port-a-Potties and set up base camps as predicted in Paul McCartney's 1971 hit "Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey" when he said, "Hans across the water, heads across the sky"? Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

Right now, the Danish Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Copenhagen, Peter Taksoe-Jensen, believes the issue will soon . . . uh . . . be put off to later. It seems there is a much more pressing affair at hand. There is a disputed 1.8641136 mile long border in the Davis Strait between Canada and Greenland which was drawn incorrectly. Taksoe-Jensen believes this could wreak havoc on fishing rights for . . . well, they haven't really decided on how long that could wreak havoc.

Whatever is decided, the world may never know how close it came to the brink of . . . well, mild disagreement in the Arctic. Let's hope we all learn from this and never again put off 'til tomorrow what we can put off for 32 years.