Abuse, Are Some People Just Asking For It?
Judy Ramsook
September 13, 2006
Love is a strange entity. It can move one to anger and depression, and the next moment, it can make one feel as if he/she is in some form of euphoria that nothing negative anyone can say to him/her can ruin.
While one is enjoying all this happiness though, he/she may find him/herself tolerating certain things he/she would not bear unless of course he/she is in love. For only love can motivate us to act foolish sometimes. What is this thing one might find him/herself tolerating? Different forms of abuse.
As we all know, abuse comes in all forms. If, for example, one’s mate is too controlling to the degree that he/she feels the need to check the caller ID data on his/her mate’s cellular telephone everyday, it’s both a lack of trust issue as well as ultimate control.
Also, if this person one is supposed to be in love with makes one feel as if he/she is the only person in the universe who cares for and loves his/her mate, something is definitely wrong.
In love or not, no one needs to be isolated from his/her friends and family members, unless of course one wants to. If an observer sees too many instances of these kinds of abuse, it may make him/her ask the question, why? Why are some people willing to allow others abuse them in such a fashion?
Are some persons so tired of waiting around for the right person, that they are willing to settle for some one who is both verbally and physically abusive as well as controlling? It might not take one a long time to observe that some people are doing just that.
The worse part? The one who is being abused thinks he/she is loved by his/her mate and has convinced him/herself that he/she is happy.
No matter how much an outside observer might try to save the person who is at the victim’s end of this scenario, the victim would hear none of it.
He/she thinks he/she’s in love. If so, why does the victim feel so uneasy when his/her abusive/controlling mate checks his/her cell phone to see who else has been calling him/her, other than the abusive/controlling mate, of course?
People who want to remain in abusive type relationships do so because on some level, they have convinced themselves that they are happily in love and some day their mate will change to a calmer, less abusive person.
That kind of change only comes to those who really want it and may involve some quality therapy.
Otherwise, most people, especially the abusive ones, do not change. If some one wants to get out of an abusive relationship, he/she should do so. For love also means not being abused, whether it is verbally, physically or otherwise.
While one is enjoying all this happiness though, he/she may find him/herself tolerating certain things he/she would not bear unless of course he/she is in love. For only love can motivate us to act foolish sometimes. What is this thing one might find him/herself tolerating? Different forms of abuse.
As we all know, abuse comes in all forms. If, for example, one’s mate is too controlling to the degree that he/she feels the need to check the caller ID data on his/her mate’s cellular telephone everyday, it’s both a lack of trust issue as well as ultimate control.
Also, if this person one is supposed to be in love with makes one feel as if he/she is the only person in the universe who cares for and loves his/her mate, something is definitely wrong.
In love or not, no one needs to be isolated from his/her friends and family members, unless of course one wants to. If an observer sees too many instances of these kinds of abuse, it may make him/her ask the question, why? Why are some people willing to allow others abuse them in such a fashion?
Are some persons so tired of waiting around for the right person, that they are willing to settle for some one who is both verbally and physically abusive as well as controlling? It might not take one a long time to observe that some people are doing just that.
The worse part? The one who is being abused thinks he/she is loved by his/her mate and has convinced him/herself that he/she is happy.
No matter how much an outside observer might try to save the person who is at the victim’s end of this scenario, the victim would hear none of it.
He/she thinks he/she’s in love. If so, why does the victim feel so uneasy when his/her abusive/controlling mate checks his/her cell phone to see who else has been calling him/her, other than the abusive/controlling mate, of course?
People who want to remain in abusive type relationships do so because on some level, they have convinced themselves that they are happily in love and some day their mate will change to a calmer, less abusive person.
That kind of change only comes to those who really want it and may involve some quality therapy.
Otherwise, most people, especially the abusive ones, do not change. If some one wants to get out of an abusive relationship, he/she should do so. For love also means not being abused, whether it is verbally, physically or otherwise.
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