Want To Get To Know Your Daughter Better? Read the same books.

For as many perks of enrichment as were bestowed on the Baby Boomer Generation, mother-daughter book clubs weren´t among them. While my own parents took the required level of interest in the textbooks I was reading at school and would even occasionally quiz me on their content in preparation for a test, there were never lively dinner table discussions about Nancy Drew´s latest mystery or whether the plucky Meg Murry would be able to rescue her scientist father from the planet Camazotz and defeat the evil IT. In a nutshell, it was Citizen Kane´s dining room plus an introverted tween in the middle who had lots of questions about plot points and character dynamics but no one to supply thought-provoking answers, much less discuss their reactions to the same story.

Oh, to have been born a member of the target demographic for Cindy Hudson´s latest release, "Book By Book: The Complete Guide to Creating Mother-Daughter Book Clubs" (Seal Press, October 2009). Not only does this accomplished author and mom have a finger on the pulse of what makes the female generations tick but the advice, insights and groundwork guidelines she sets forth in her chapters are also sure to attract scores of enthusiastic new visitors to her website, MotherDaughterBookClub.com.

Although the holidays find Cindy juggling multiple plates and wearing just as many hats in preparation for family festivities, she graciously took time from her schedule to share her views on why book clubs for moms and their daughters are helping to bridge the sometimes fragile communication gap and encourage a lifelong love of literature.

Q: Let´s start with what sparked your passion to write this book.

A: After I got my degree in Journalism from Louisiana State University, I worked for many years in advertising, marketing and public relations. While I wrote a lot of articles, copy for brochures, and other promotional pieces during my career, I decided a few years ago that I really wanted to write about topics that were important to me personally. I published my first article about mother-daughter book clubs a couple of years ago in the "Daughters" (no longer publishing) newsletter. Although I also published other pieces in regional magazines and newspapers, the piece in "Daughters" was the spark that ignited my desire to turn the whole topic into a book.

I passionately believe that mother-daughter book clubs are life changing. They help keep dialogue open between you and your daughter during the possibly tumultuous teen years. They connect you with other moms in your community that you can build friendships with. They give you experiences that you may remember all your life. If I can help other moms become excited about starting their own clubs and help them get up and running, that makes me happy.

Q: So what's the buzz on mother-daughter book clubs? Are they a relatively new invention or have they always existed and we just didn´t know about them?

A: I wish they had been around when I was growing up! I was a voracious reader, and I think I would have been able to talk to my mom more about the "taboo" issues I was afraid to ask about if we were reading books together. Mother-daughter book clubs are relatively new on the book club scene, and they started showing up in widespread numbers around the mid-1990s. Now they seem to be picking up even more momentum as the moms and daughters who have been in them for a number of years talk more and more about the benefits of being in them.

Q: You have a great website that's specifically targeted to moms and their daughters. How/when did this come about and what did you do to spread the word?

A: I started the website in early 2007 when I realized that there were few resources geared to mother-daughter book clubs on the Internet. I wanted to provide a forum where moms and daughters could look for books that were good for certain ages, send in their reviews, get ideas for activities and find author interviews. I didn't do much to spread the word at first, just got the site up and running. Soon, though, readers were finding me through searches, and authors started getting in touch, too. From there it really snowballed on its own. Now, promotions for "Book by Book" are exposing even more people to the website, which I think it a good thing. It's dynamic, with new content added regularly, so I think it's a great companion to the book.

Q: Given the number of extracurricular activities that our young generation of girls have going on - not to mention all the moms who have full-time careers and manage busy households - how does everyone get on the same page, so to speak, to read books and come to meetings?

A: It's not always easy, but it is being done all the time by moms and girls who have so many other things going on in their lives. Nearly all the moms in my groups work full- or part-time, and they have other children at home. Also, nearly all the moms I interviewed for "Book by Book" work outside the home. Book club must be prioritized as a shared activity for the mom and daughter if it's going to be successful. This isn't time you're sitting in the stands watching your daughter play soccer or in an auditorium watching her on a stage. This is time you spend together, in conversation about important things in life. I like to say that moms should think of it as an investment of time that helps them know their daughters as individuals.

Q: What goes on at these book club meetings?

A: Mother-daughter book club meetings have to be fun or no one would want to keep going month after month. In both of my clubs we've opted for a dinner followed by book discussion format. We usually seat moms and girls at different tables while we eat so we can each catch up socially with our peers. Sometimes it's hard to tear ourselves away from those conversations to talk about the book, but then it's so wonderful when moms and girls talk together that we definitely want to leave enough time so that part of the meeting isn't rushed. I know of groups who play games at meetings and make crafts. Often the crafts are related to what they read. I've even heard of groups that bake when they get together.

Book club members get to be very close to each other if they continue meeting for any length of time. So often in our day-to-day interactions with friends and acquaintances we don't talk about our beliefs, or what's important to us, or how we would act in a given situation. But book club discussions bring all of the life experiences out. It helps you all to know each other on a level that doesn't occur in other venues. And book club members also come to rely on each other when life throws them a curve ball. In our group we've brought food to other members when they were sick, supported them through a parent's illness, provided carpool rides when needed, and cheered each other on during sports activities and during school performances. My daughters' friends that I know the best are in our book clubs. And while I didn't know all the moms when we got started, now I consider them among my best friends.

For girls, getting to know other moms in the group is an invaluable experience. The other moms in the group act as role models when the girls consider a career for themselves. The moms can also be another adult woman the girls feel safe talking to about issues in their lives. I think book discussions also help when girls are having conflict with their moms over issues. It helps them see that other moms may feel the same way as their own moms.

Q: What effects do these clubs have on literacy in general and an appreciation for storytelling through the written word?

A: I believe they have tremendous impact. Mother-daughter book clubs are likely to help girls continue reading for fun as they grow. Girls in elementary school read for fun a lot, but as they get into middle school and high school, the time they spend with books outside of school assignments shrinks. Yet, reading for fun has been found to be an important factor in overall success at school. Mother-daughter book clubs also push their members to read outside of their own comfort zones. Most people are drawn to a particular genre, like mysteries or historical fiction or non-fiction. When you take turns choosing books for book club, you usually end up reading lots of different genres.

You also learn to appreciate different types of literature when you hear others talk about what they like in a book, even if that book didn't particularly resonate with you. When my daughters and I read book clubs selections now, we're likely to say, "this really isn't working for me, but I'll bet Karen's going to love it," or "I really like the way this author writes, but I think Joan isn't going to like it." That ability to find what others can appreciate in something they read can increase your overall enjoyment while you read.

Q: How many moms and daughters constitute an effective group that allows everyone to participate and how often do they typically meet?

A: If you want to have lively discussion, I believe you need at least four mother-daughter pairs. This usually means you'll have some difference of opinion when you talk about what you read. Smaller groups such as this also give every person more time to voice her opinion. While moms and daughters may have less time to speak out in a larger group, more people usually equals more energy in general and less pressure on everyone to be at every meeting. When girls are younger and less likely to have huge homework loads, many mother-daughter book clubs meet monthly during the school year. As the girls grow and school starts to take up more of their lives, many groups cut back to every six weeks or two months.

Q: Who chooses the books - the moms or the daughters?

A: Every group has its own guidelines for choosing books, but I recommend that moms and daughters choose together. There are lots of great books available that appeal to more than one generation, so it's not difficult to find good titles. If the girls choose on their own, they may be likely to pick books that other kids are talking about in school. Popular books geared to kids won't necessarily hold the interest of the moms. And let´s face it, the moms have to enjoy what they read if they want to continue putting their energy into book club.

On the other hand, when moms choose on their own, they may be more likely to go for books that are heavy on issues they want their daughters to learn about. If book club is too much like school for the girls they won't have any fun. I think when a mom and daughter each have veto power over the book they want to bring to the group, you're more likely to end up with books both will enjoy.

Q: There seems to be a trend of late in "darker" themes for YA literature, particularly supernatural elements such as vampires, werewolves, witches, sorcery, etc. What do you suppose accounts for this direction and is it a healthy avenue for young readers to be exploring?

A: Every few years it seems there is a trend that comes about because of a popular book. When my daughters were younger it was books about witchcraft that appealed to readers of Harry Potter. Now you see many titles about vampires and werewolves since the popularity of "Twilight". I don't particularly like the message of the "Twilight books" which has the heroine isolated from her family and giving up everything in her life for a boy she meets. But I don't think girls in general read that kind of deep meaning into them. They read the books because they're fun and an escape from reality. People have been reading to escape into fantasy worlds for a long time, and I don't have major concerns about that. When kids are reading for fun, they will usually keep reading, and I think that has tremendous value.

Q: Do mother/daughter book clubs do any other activities that, for instance, complement the joy of sharing literature?

A: Absolutely! When my oldest daughter read "Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl" we went as a group to see a stage production of the book. When the curtain fell we headed out for dessert and book discussion. My younger daughter's group did something similar when we read "The Secret Life of Bees" and went to see the movie together. Seeing adaptations for the stage and screen led to discussions about how the story is affected when you change it for a different setting. I know of clubs who perform their own plays of works they read, which is even better, because they have to decide as a group what's important to convey to an audience. Other clubs I know of read poetry then write their own poems to read out loud at meetings. Still others create soundtracks of songs that are meaningful to them in some way.

Q: Wow! How did you become an expert on the dynamics of mother-daughter book clubs?

A: I certainly don't know everything, but what I do know comes from being in two very different groups for many years. My oldest daughter and I have been meeting with our book club for nearly nine years. Three years after we got started, I created a new club with my youngest daughter. I thought it would be easy, because at the time I imagined all groups worked the same way. But I found out at the first meeting that my second group had a whole different personality than the first. We've read few of the same books over the years, and we've participated in few of the same activities. It was quite an education learning what would be successful for each club.

I learned a lot, too, from the moms I interviewed for "Book by Book". So many of them were engaging in activities I never even considered. That's why I included their stories in "Book by Book". I want moms to know that they can create a club that works for them, not a copycat group that may not fit their needs.

Q: How long did it take from idea to print?

A: It was about two years from the time I first thought I should write this book until it showed up on bookstore shelves.

Q: What was the easiest part of the book to write?

A: The easiest, and most fun for me, was deciding what the book should include. I sat down and wrote a list of the things I would have liked to have known when I was starting out all those years ago. From there it was easy to create a list of chapters.

Q: And the most challenging?

A: It would have to be finding my rhythm to get all my ideas onto the page. I started by thinking I had to write the chapters in order. But I found that I had to write about the topic that was really calling to me at the time, regardless of where it fell in the table of contents. So the first two chapters I wrote were about managing discussions and taking field trips. Then I jumped to the logistics of deciding who invite and how big your club should be.

As I interviewed moms and other experts, I went back and revised where needed. Writing this way also helped me see that the first chapter needed to be about why moms may want to be in a book club with their daughters. I hadn't even planned to include a chapter on the benefits at first, now I can't imagine not starting the book that way.

Q: Can you give us an insider peek at what kind of content it contains?

A: I organized "Book by Book" into three parts: a section with chapters that help you create your club, a section for ideas of fun activities that will help keep your group dynamic over the years, and a section with chapters on solving problems that may arise. Logistics include thoughts on when to start a club, how big should it be and who to include as well as what to do at meetings. You can also find ideas for inviting an author to your meetings, staging a play, going on weekend trips and volunteering together. Some of the problems addressed include transitioning to more mature subject matter, adapting to the changing needs of your members, and what to do when members leave.

I also included a list of 100 recommended books broken down into four age categories, a few crowd-pleasing recipes, and a list of resources for finding books on the Internet. There's an index, which makes it easy to look up a topic or an idea and use the book as a reference as the years go by.

Q: So what were you reading when you were the same age as some of the girls in your book club?

A: I loved to read historical fiction when I was growing up. "The Witch of Blackbird Pond" by Elizabeth George Speare was one of my favorites, and so was "Drake, The Man They Called A Pirate" by Jean Lee Latham.

Q: And now?

A: Some of my favorites now tend to be the young adult books I'm reading with my daughters. I've been totally awestruck by the simple, but powerful messages in "The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian" by Sherman Alexie and "The Book Thief" by Markus Zusak.

Q: What's next for you?

A: I plan to start presenting workshops for moms who want to create book clubs of their own at schools and libraries early next year. And I hope to be writing about mother-daughter book clubs both on the web and in print magazines for a while to come.

Readers can keep up with Cindy´s work at MotherDaughterBookClub.com, MotherDaughterBookClub.wordpress.com and twitter.com/momdtrbookclub. "Book By Book" sells for $16.95 and is available at Amazon.com and neighborhood bookstores.