Kaka-Dodo-DOO: An early morning good intention gone so wrong.

The theory of what goes up must come down and what you see is what you get principles were the going thoughts in my pre-parental days. My "Leave It To Beaver" world was about to change forever, and I was going to see things that were not fit for TV.

It was a cold March day in Colorado. My son Alex was just born. He arrived a little early at 35 weeks 2 days. He was only 5 lbs.13 oz. Today, Alex is healthy as a horse and off the charts for height. He even built a 1,366 piece Lego Star Destroyers all by himself at age 7. Sorry, just had to brag a bit. When Alex was first born, I was feeding him 10 ml of formula through a dropper and watching him hold my hand in the NICU with a round plexi-glass oxygen cover on his head hoping the best for him. I had never changed a diaper in my life. I watched the nurse change Alex´s diaper taking mental notes each time. Slowly but surely, I was building my confidence to change him on my own.

It was day 2 or 3 in the hospital. I woke up excited to see my son squirming around like a baby earth worm. Alex started to stir. I didn´t want to wake his mother; so, I thought to myself, "I will try my hand at changing his diaper". I wheeled Alex down to the nurse station on the coolest thing in the hospital, a crib on wheels. I started ramping myself up with a little pep talk. I was chanting "Be a Man" and "You can do it" in my head. I weeded through the layers of baby blankets and spotted the diaper. I opened the diaper and was stunned like a deer in the headlights with the sight before me. Without a day of medical training in my life I honestly thought his intestines were hanging out from the diaper. I could only describe the site as if something just got dragged from the San Andreas tar pits. So, I did like any new Dad would do and panicked. I banged on the nursery window pointing at my son with the look of shock on my face. The doctor and nurse came running out and asked what´s wrong. All I could get out of my mouth was "My Son" and pointed. Now, I have done some dooosies in my time but nothing that looked like this! The doctor and nurse attended to the situation and the word Meconium was uttered. My sleep deprived mind was thinking - Meconuim??? What is that??? The cousin of Kryptonite??? Does my son have super powers??? It felt like time stood still while I was waiting for the verdict. The Doctor looked at the nurse long and hard. Then, he turned to me and said, "Congratulations Mr. Hartsfield. Your son just had his first bowel movement."

It was a morning wake up call that I will never forget.