The Great Medicinal Conspiracy
Wolfram Donat
September 06, 2006
There is a disturbing trend that has been developing in medicine for the past few years. Perhaps you’ve noticed it too. You can’t watch a spate of commercials on TV anymore, even on the Cartoon Network, without encountering this phenomenon.
I’m talking about the tendency to label diseases and disorders with catchy acronyms. It started innocently enough, with the general population calling multiple sclerosis “MS.” I can even understand using “AIDS” for auto-immune deficiency disorder. Then the next substitution snuck into general usage: “PTSD” for post-traumatic stress disorder, the same thing we used to call shell shock. In many of these cases, it’s understandable, and many of the abbreviations have become quite common, such as MS.
But it seems that we have begun to label all kinds of disorders – and the other catch-all, “syndromes” – with acronyms, even things that I wouldn’t really consider to be disorders. Rheumatoid arthritis, a debilitating condition that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, is now reduced to “RA.” If your legs hurt at night, guess what? You may have “RLS,” short for restless leg syndrome. Isn’t that catchy? I know why I am constantly arguing with the other voices in my head – I have “MPD,” or multiple-personality disorder.
There are three possibilities that I see as to why this may be occurring. The first possibility is that it is rooted in psychology. Perhaps studies have determined that the human mind can more easily come to terms with “ADHD” than it can with a mouthful like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Discovering you’ve been diagnosed with “CLL” is easier to handle than finding out you’ve got chronic lymphocytic leukemia.
The second possibility is that perhaps the drug companies like Merck and Bristol-Meyers have found that it is much easier to market drugs to a compliant, consumption-oriented populace if you label diseases with trendy acronyms. Nobody wants to buy drugs to treat their enlarged prostate, but they’ll fall over themselves to fill their prescription for “BPH.” It’s easy to stay fashionable when you can compare your “IBS” with your neighbor’s “PCOD.” (That’s irritable bowel syndrome and polycystic ovarian disease, in case you’re keeping track.)
The last possibility that I see is that perhaps it is just laziness. This is the culture, after all, that thinks “Alex Rodriguez” has too many syllables and has shortened it to “A-Rod” and then followed suit with K-Fed and P-Diddy and other similar nonsense. I don’t know about you, but I have more important things to do than spend my time pronouncing “obsessive compulsive disorder.” I’ll just say “OCD” and go on with my day.
So my suggestion is to extend this to include anything in life that we find unpleasant. Three-letter acronyms are preferred, but two and four letters are all right as well. “I have a JOB, but the PIC thinks that my performance is under par.” “I filled my SUV up with GAS the other day, but it barely got me to NYC.” “I have a CC, so I CIS yesterday.” (Once again, that’s job, person in charge, sport utility vehicle, gas, New York City, common cold and called in sick, respectively.) I think it’d save everyone a lot of valuable time, and at the same time help to make all of the objectionable things in life more palatable.
It won’t help with everything, of course. There’s still no cure for the IRS.
I’m talking about the tendency to label diseases and disorders with catchy acronyms. It started innocently enough, with the general population calling multiple sclerosis “MS.” I can even understand using “AIDS” for auto-immune deficiency disorder. Then the next substitution snuck into general usage: “PTSD” for post-traumatic stress disorder, the same thing we used to call shell shock. In many of these cases, it’s understandable, and many of the abbreviations have become quite common, such as MS.
But it seems that we have begun to label all kinds of disorders – and the other catch-all, “syndromes” – with acronyms, even things that I wouldn’t really consider to be disorders. Rheumatoid arthritis, a debilitating condition that I wouldn’t wish on anyone, is now reduced to “RA.” If your legs hurt at night, guess what? You may have “RLS,” short for restless leg syndrome. Isn’t that catchy? I know why I am constantly arguing with the other voices in my head – I have “MPD,” or multiple-personality disorder.
There are three possibilities that I see as to why this may be occurring. The first possibility is that it is rooted in psychology. Perhaps studies have determined that the human mind can more easily come to terms with “ADHD” than it can with a mouthful like attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Discovering you’ve been diagnosed with “CLL” is easier to handle than finding out you’ve got chronic lymphocytic leukemia.
The second possibility is that perhaps the drug companies like Merck and Bristol-Meyers have found that it is much easier to market drugs to a compliant, consumption-oriented populace if you label diseases with trendy acronyms. Nobody wants to buy drugs to treat their enlarged prostate, but they’ll fall over themselves to fill their prescription for “BPH.” It’s easy to stay fashionable when you can compare your “IBS” with your neighbor’s “PCOD.” (That’s irritable bowel syndrome and polycystic ovarian disease, in case you’re keeping track.)
The last possibility that I see is that perhaps it is just laziness. This is the culture, after all, that thinks “Alex Rodriguez” has too many syllables and has shortened it to “A-Rod” and then followed suit with K-Fed and P-Diddy and other similar nonsense. I don’t know about you, but I have more important things to do than spend my time pronouncing “obsessive compulsive disorder.” I’ll just say “OCD” and go on with my day.
So my suggestion is to extend this to include anything in life that we find unpleasant. Three-letter acronyms are preferred, but two and four letters are all right as well. “I have a JOB, but the PIC thinks that my performance is under par.” “I filled my SUV up with GAS the other day, but it barely got me to NYC.” “I have a CC, so I CIS yesterday.” (Once again, that’s job, person in charge, sport utility vehicle, gas, New York City, common cold and called in sick, respectively.) I think it’d save everyone a lot of valuable time, and at the same time help to make all of the objectionable things in life more palatable.
It won’t help with everything, of course. There’s still no cure for the IRS.
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