Bear's Den: "FYI: Nobody likes a Smart Aleck Owl"

Umm, the Long Moon. The days are wee-pek-wa (gray) and growing ever more we-pe (cold). The kes-athwa (sun) hides more and more. There is always much to do before the heavy snow falls, and I´ve been hard at it. Still, it seems that there´s tons of stuff still left undone when the stars fill the heavens. The other night I was outside pondering this, trying to decide whether or not a few of the things could wait over the winter. I wondered ´who´ could blame me if I missed a few things. Yep, and that´s when mi-yath-we (owl) answered me loudly… "Hooo-hoooo!" Okay, I would have only myself to blame… that´s who. FYI, though: nobody likes a smart aleck owl.

Things have changed a bit here on the Rez. For the first time in our married life, the males in the household outnumber the females. Yes´sir, that´s a switcheroo. We had five young´uns and four of them are girls. Lately, though, they´re all out of the house except for the high school senior. Sure, and the only time we´re vaguely aware of her presence is when we see a fast blur and feel a slight swish of a breeze as she sails in and out. She´s a busy kid and stops in to grab a change of attire, a doo-dad, a trinket or a bite to eat, and then she´s off again. So, that leaves my domestic boss, the brown male dog, the black male cat, and me. Voila! The guys outnumber the gals. But strength in numbers doesn´t always mean much – if you get my drift?

So it was that the other day, my domestic boss had cleaned the livingroom floor in expectation of family guests for dinner. We´d all been told not to mess it up. The dog had to keep his rawhide bone on his pillow, the cat must not shed, and I had to keep my newspapers, magazines and other junk off the floor. She picked up a plate she found sitting on the freshly cleaned floor tiles and looked at all three of us guys. We all happened to be bunched near the computer. Her face displayed genuine curiosity and her eyebrows twisted up into incredulously inquisitive peaks. She looked at us in all sincerity and asked, "Who… left this plate here?"

Hershey, the Lab, had a dumb look on his face – well, he pretty much always does, but he adamantly shook his head, anyhow. And Baghera, the cat, enlarged his big green eyes, startled, while shrugging his shoulders sheepishly and nervously in the negative. That left me…and, well, I changed the subject. I said, "Hey, last night, I was trying to figure out what I should do about some the odds and ends I have going on before winter sets-in and… I heard an owl."

Neewa (My wife), was just looking at me with the oddest expression. Her face was not quite joyful or serene, it was, possibly… troubled somehow… perhaps the way one´s face looks when they´re perturbed – I wasn´t quite sure. She often has funny expressions on her countenance. In fact, just the other day, when I forgot to take the garbage out, she stood there in the kitchen pointing at it aggressively… and she had one of these odd expressions on her face. So, really, who can say? Right now, she seemed a tad agitated as she wobbled the plate in her hand, making figurative reference to it, while looking at me with cold, blue-gray eyes. "Uh-huh," she said. "Who… left this plate here?"

I looked at the animals, and they seemed uncomfortable. Personally, I thought that it was a tad cruel of my domestic boss to make them feel that way. But, then again, not everyone can be as caring as I am about the lesser creatures. Yep, everybody has their ways. Still, I wanted to come to their aid. I looked back at my wife and thought it best to try to assuage her troubled mind; perhaps I could get her thinking about something new, so the tragedy of the plate being left on the living room floor wouldn´t be so up-front and onerous to her.

I nodded insistently. "Yeah, that´s right – Hoo," I responded adamantly, "I asked myself ´who´ could blame me if I didn´t catch up all this stuff before winter set-in, and the owl said, ´Hooo-hoooo!" I nodded enthusiastically. "So, of course, by repeating to me what I had asked myself, I knew that he meant, euphemistically, that I would have only myself to blame – see?"

She was slowly nodding at me, but her face didn´t show any kind of benevolent understanding – I mean… none. In fact, her features looked remarkable similar to just the other day during that tragic ´garbage not taken out´ event. Hmm. I know that people have way too much stress in their lives these days. I thought it best to move past this. I looked at the dog and the cat who returned my gaze with pitiful worried expressions. Sorry guys, but you´re on your own – good luck. I jumped up from the computer and threw on my jacket, speaking to my domestic boss over my shoulder as I made for the door. "Yeah, so I´d better get back to that stuff. I´ll be outside, okay?" Then, I exited in a hurry.

Outside, I began my chores. As I worked, I contemplated all that I had left to do before the conee (snow) arrived in earnest. Man, I sure wished I could just put this off. But, then a vision of my domestic boss´s troubled face flashed through my mind. Yeah, and it wasn´t an image I wanted to keep – know what I mean? And besides, like the owl said, I only have myself to blame whenever I put stuff off. Heck, and certain other two-leggeds might blame me, too. Still, FYI: nobody …and I do mean nobody… likes a smart aleck owl!

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David Walks-As-Bear is an Inter-Tribal Elder and Kispoko Shawnee Indian. He works as a private game warden and detective and is a novelist and syndicated newspaper columnist living in Northwest Michigan. Contact him at The White Lake Beacon: 231-894-5356 or visit his website at: www.Walks-As-Bear.com