Zea mays everta - the devil's addiction

Good morning, class. Today we will be discussing the very addictive plant zea mays everta. This plant has been around for tens of thousands of years. It was probably used by cave people as scientists have found an 80,000 year old version of its pollen south of Mexico City. They believe this plant first grew in Mexico although they know it was used in India and China long before Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And this shows its insidious nature. To be used by humans and pre-humans for so long must prove its addictive powers . . . and it's still my favorite snack at the movies. We're talking popcorn people!

While some are not as easily addicted to the white puffs of pure delight as others, there are millions like myself who have fallen under its power and can't (or more likely refuse) to break free. Popcorn has been found in the "Bat Cave" of central New Mexico that is thought to be 5,600 years old. They've even found ancient kernels of pure white "P" in Peruvian tombs that were so well preserved they still popped.

From the first time Columbus set foot in the West Indies, civilized man has known of popcorn. Native Americans brought a bag of the billowy goodness to the first Thanksgiving and even made a popcorn beer (damn, I want that recipe) and popcorn soup. And here's a bit of trivia (as if everything else hasn't been until this point), popcorn was the first puffed breakfast cereal - colonists would pour milk over popcorn and eat it in the mornings.

Today Americans eat on average over 70 quarts of the popped narcotic every year. And who can we blame for this fixation on fluff? Adolf Hitler of course. It wasn't until during World War II and the rationing of sugar that we (and by we, I mean Americans since I didn't come along until nine years after Hiroshima) began our love affair with popping corn. In fact, between 1941 and 1946, Americans tripled their popcorn consumption. It just goes to show how the stress of war can make people turn to addictive substances.

The way popcorn has been delivered has changed through the ages. Originally, Native Americans would use sticks to hold an ear of popcorn over a fire and then eat the popped kernels directly off the ear. Later, we had long handled pots we would rest in the fireplace to incite our "popiate" to come to life. My favorite method of delivery for "American White" is the movie theater butter method where it is popped fresh in a popcorn kettle and poured out into the glass and stainless steel cubicle from where it is scooped into a bag or cardboard bucket and drenched in rich creamery butter and a dash of popcorn salt (oh my God, my mouth is watering into a pitiful drool). 1959 brought us the innovative Jiffy Pop which came from La Porte, IN. Jiffy Pop was a self-contained popping hypodermic. You placed the product directly on the range top or over a fire and watched as the thin aluminum ball roared to life filled with distended kernels of delight. Eventually, the advent of the microwave oven (and Orville Redenbacher's shelf stable microwavable popcorn in 1983) made it possible for us to get to the good stuff in less than two minutes. (Be back in two minutes)

(Okay, I'm back) Indiana is the largest supplier of popcorn in the world. Nebraska is second. How lucky am I to live in Indiana (unless we're talking politics, then I'm screwed) with this opiate of the masses growing legally all around me? And I guess I can't mention Indiana and popcorn without mentioning my favorite Hoosier, Orville Redenbacher. Orville was born on a small family corn farm in Indiana in 1907. Seven years later he began his addiction to the "white". Later, throughout high school and college, Orville conducted popcorn experiments, trying to improve the flavor and growing techniques. He graduated from Purdue University in 1928 and continued looking for the perfect kernel. He later bought more land and a seed company while continuing his diabolic program. Finally in 1965 he did it. He achieved the perfect 44:1 expansion ratio for the fluffiest popped corn in the world. He was indeed the "Popcorn King". In 1990, Con/Agra acquired the Orville Redenbacher brand. Perhaps one of the saddest days of my life was when Orville passed away just a short 10 years ago in 1995 at the age of 88.

Today I still consume mass quantities of popcorn. I love Redenbacher's Movie Theater Butter brand the best when I'm home, but when I've got that popcorn jones, I'll settle for Pop Secret or Pop Weavers. However, I'm really addicted to the hard stuff and will sometimes use a new movie as an excuse just to go to the theater. I don't know how many more like me are out there, but always remember, no matter where you are, you are not alone.