Airline pilots miss target city by 150 miles

Dan Liftman
New evidence has been discovered to explain why a Northwest Airlines jet bound from San Diego to Minneapolis overshot its destination by 150 miles. When questioned about the error, Pilot Bill Winger initially said that a "heated discussion about airline policy" had distracted him and Bob Tailor, the flight´s captain. When pressed, however, Winger changed his story, saying that both men had been "playing with our laptops."

That explanation prompted outrage from passengers on the flight and everyone who has heard about the incident. Orville Reitman, an employee of the Boeing Corporation who was traveling to Minneapolis, told the Associated Press, "Playing with their laptops? Are they crazy? We could have all been killed! They might have kept going until we ended up in the Atlantic Ocean. I´d like to stick their laptops in a place where they´d have a hard time reaching the keyboard."

Air traffic controllers at Minneapolis International Airport made repeated attempts to reach the pair on the plane´s radio during the flight, but were unsuccessful. Tailor has since admitted that they were alerted to the fact that they had overshot their destination when a large turkey buzzard collided with the plane´s windshield. Within days of the incident, Northwest fired the two pilots and they have since lost their licenses to fly. Today, however, investigators revealed additional facts that make the story even more shocking.


According to National Transportation Safety Board spokesman Melvin Landing, their story was false. "Apparently," said Landing, "they concocted the laptop story because they didn´t want to appear old-fashioned. In our inspection of the cockpit, we found backgammon pieces, mah jong tiles and Chinese checkers. If they were that bored with flying, they had alternatives. They should have called a flight attendant to the cockpit. I´m sure any of them would have kept a closer watch on the controls."

Landing is probably right. After hearing of his remark, one passenger has come forward to show investigators a photo taken of himself with a smiling flight attendant holding a copy of the book Flying for Dummies. Since leaving Northwest, Winger and Tailor have been unable to find jobs of any kind in the airline industry. Tailor was recently spotted running an airplane ride in the kiddy section of a local amusement park and Winger has joined his wife´s interior decorating business, where he assists airline related businesses in picking out flying themed wallpaper.

Reflecting on the story, one seasoned air traveler, who didn´t want to be named, said, "Airline safety is rapidly declining to a point where, one day soon, we´ll wish we were traveling by pterodactyl, like they did in the Flintstones´ day."
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