Nepali youths live together before marriage in abroad!
Rajneesh Bhandari
October 21, 2009
The concept of living together is popular in western countries like America, United Kingdom and Australia. The concept adopted mainly by westerners is gaining popularity amongst Eastern countries as well and Nepali youths are no exception to this. But the couples staying together are not found speaking openly about their relationship. The major reason behind it could be the fact that the issue has yet to gain legality socially and religiously. Living Together means living without getting bonded in any cultural or legal provisions such as Marriage and sharing the bondage emotionally.
However Nepali youths living in foreign lands have already adopted the concept. Youths landing up in countries like Australia, America, United Kingdom and India for higher studies are in the line to adopting it. According to Bhuwaneshore Sharma, a Nepali Journalist based in Australia, this concept is prevalent among some youngsters there.
The tendency is gaining popularity due to many reasons such as high accommodation expenses among many. Those landing up in foreign land in student visa switch on to this concept just to transfer their visa type to dependent. This is done also to save the income or to earn more. This concept moreover helps to support each other emotionally and financially. The couples staying together decide for marriage only after understanding each other and living-in. However there is no guarantee for how long the couples stay together.
Deepak Neupane, who is a student in Nebraska State in America also shared that the concept is popular among Nepali youngsters in America as well. Neupane shares that his friends who have adopted this trend however donīt disclose whether they are going to marry later or not. Those staying together also disclose the thing only to friend and not to their relatives in homeland. "They donīt tell about this to their parents or relatives in Nepal", shares Deepak. People here look for their partners during night parties and gatherings that are common in America, moreover, Nepali tend to relate themselves to the American culture here, adds Deepak. "This is gaining popularity mainly to fulfill the emptiness of parental love and care and also to get well along with foreign culture", says Neupane. Some too are found using the freedom irresponsibly which might bring about ill-effects in the days to come, shares Neupane.
Sabi Dangol, a student in Virginia however doesnīt agree that those staying together hide the thing. According to Sabi, youngsters like this concept despite the criticism of older generation. Sabi echoes Neupane and aggress that the concept is popular because it enables them to share oneīs emotions and difficulties with their partners. "Living together help couples to understand each other better and make the relationship strong", says Sabi.
The case is however similar to that of Nebraska in India as well. Youngsters here too donīt reveal the thing to their relatives. In India too Youngsters are found living together and sharing each other financial burdens according to Surendra Bahadur KC.
Living together couples might be found in Nepal as well, but the society here is yet to digest the concept. Former Miss Nepal Malvika Subba is also of the view that the environment of living together is not yet favorable in Nepal and this will still take a long time to get accepted in Nepal. Malvika says, "We still live with our family, even if we are not married, so living together is basically out of the question for a lot of us." Girls still find difficulty in talking about these matters because of societal constrains. " I dont think anyone would like to expose that they live together as a couple with out having gotten married .In fear that it might create a wrong impression , specially for the girl." rued Malvika. As there is no law about living together Malvika thinks itīs (living together) not feasible.
Though the concept might have gained popularity in many places, it too cannot escape criticism in many more places. This concept is found against many religions. Many religious sermons see individuals living together as a sin. It is mainly criticized because of the freedom it grants. Critics even are of the view that the concepts delays marriage amongst people and many couples end up mainly in divorce. Others also term is as a negative tendency of flirting around and not marrying. Those living together always live in the psychological fear of relations ending up anytime.
Osho follower Yogananda is of the view that since many religions are not able to accept life as a whole so are they not able to adopt the concept of living together. "If youngsters have love between them then they should be set free to live together", says Yogananda. If there is deep love than discipline is not necessarily needed, love itself is a discipline according to Yogananda. Yogananda whose many friends are adopting this concept however tells that the concept cannot gain popularity in Nepal because of the mindset of the society. He shares a case of a couple who married after living together for 11 years and tells that youngsters have started becoming aware of their freedom. "If there is strong bondage and love between the couples then only will it be successful, shares the yogi.
According to Michel Mac men, the author of īLiving Together Risks and Answerī, after 1970 there has been a tremendous fall about 50 percent in the numbers of individuals getting married and significant rise in those living together. In 1970 A.D. the number of those living without marriage was 2 million that increased by three times and reached 6 million in 2005 informed Michel in an interview. Divorce rate too is in an increasing trend in America. 50 percent of marriages end up in divorce, but the rate of divorce after the first marriage is higher than that of third marriage.
However Nepali youths living in foreign lands have already adopted the concept. Youths landing up in countries like Australia, America, United Kingdom and India for higher studies are in the line to adopting it. According to Bhuwaneshore Sharma, a Nepali Journalist based in Australia, this concept is prevalent among some youngsters there.
The tendency is gaining popularity due to many reasons such as high accommodation expenses among many. Those landing up in foreign land in student visa switch on to this concept just to transfer their visa type to dependent. This is done also to save the income or to earn more. This concept moreover helps to support each other emotionally and financially. The couples staying together decide for marriage only after understanding each other and living-in. However there is no guarantee for how long the couples stay together.
Deepak Neupane, who is a student in Nebraska State in America also shared that the concept is popular among Nepali youngsters in America as well. Neupane shares that his friends who have adopted this trend however donīt disclose whether they are going to marry later or not. Those staying together also disclose the thing only to friend and not to their relatives in homeland. "They donīt tell about this to their parents or relatives in Nepal", shares Deepak. People here look for their partners during night parties and gatherings that are common in America, moreover, Nepali tend to relate themselves to the American culture here, adds Deepak. "This is gaining popularity mainly to fulfill the emptiness of parental love and care and also to get well along with foreign culture", says Neupane. Some too are found using the freedom irresponsibly which might bring about ill-effects in the days to come, shares Neupane.
Sabi Dangol, a student in Virginia however doesnīt agree that those staying together hide the thing. According to Sabi, youngsters like this concept despite the criticism of older generation. Sabi echoes Neupane and aggress that the concept is popular because it enables them to share oneīs emotions and difficulties with their partners. "Living together help couples to understand each other better and make the relationship strong", says Sabi.
The case is however similar to that of Nebraska in India as well. Youngsters here too donīt reveal the thing to their relatives. In India too Youngsters are found living together and sharing each other financial burdens according to Surendra Bahadur KC.
Living together couples might be found in Nepal as well, but the society here is yet to digest the concept. Former Miss Nepal Malvika Subba is also of the view that the environment of living together is not yet favorable in Nepal and this will still take a long time to get accepted in Nepal. Malvika says, "We still live with our family, even if we are not married, so living together is basically out of the question for a lot of us." Girls still find difficulty in talking about these matters because of societal constrains. " I dont think anyone would like to expose that they live together as a couple with out having gotten married .In fear that it might create a wrong impression , specially for the girl." rued Malvika. As there is no law about living together Malvika thinks itīs (living together) not feasible.
Though the concept might have gained popularity in many places, it too cannot escape criticism in many more places. This concept is found against many religions. Many religious sermons see individuals living together as a sin. It is mainly criticized because of the freedom it grants. Critics even are of the view that the concepts delays marriage amongst people and many couples end up mainly in divorce. Others also term is as a negative tendency of flirting around and not marrying. Those living together always live in the psychological fear of relations ending up anytime.
Osho follower Yogananda is of the view that since many religions are not able to accept life as a whole so are they not able to adopt the concept of living together. "If youngsters have love between them then they should be set free to live together", says Yogananda. If there is deep love than discipline is not necessarily needed, love itself is a discipline according to Yogananda. Yogananda whose many friends are adopting this concept however tells that the concept cannot gain popularity in Nepal because of the mindset of the society. He shares a case of a couple who married after living together for 11 years and tells that youngsters have started becoming aware of their freedom. "If there is strong bondage and love between the couples then only will it be successful, shares the yogi.
According to Michel Mac men, the author of īLiving Together Risks and Answerī, after 1970 there has been a tremendous fall about 50 percent in the numbers of individuals getting married and significant rise in those living together. In 1970 A.D. the number of those living without marriage was 2 million that increased by three times and reached 6 million in 2005 informed Michel in an interview. Divorce rate too is in an increasing trend in America. 50 percent of marriages end up in divorce, but the rate of divorce after the first marriage is higher than that of third marriage.
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