Forever in My Heart - Chapter 5

“Sunshine... ,” Soleil heard the familiar tap on the door early in the morning. “Are you coming?”

Yes. In a minute!” She rushed out of bed to put on her walking clothes. It was a cold morning. Freddy handed her a cup of hot chocolate before they set off for the beach. He held her hand as they walked, like it was the most natural thing on earth to do.

Where are your usual gadgets and gizmos?” she noticed he wasn't bringing anything.

I won't be doing any sketches or writing today.”

Why did you come, then?”

To be alone with you for the last time.”

Am I going to die, or something like that?” she teased.

You're making fun of me,” he sulked.

Only so you'll get mad and go away. I need to read my Bible, you know. Shoo!”

He left her alone and stayed in a distance, watching her closely.

Soleil was aware that his eyes never left her as she sat there to meditate and pray. When she was done, she motioned for him to come sit beside her.

You okay?” she asked.

No. I want the world to stop turning.”

Shut up and watch the sun,” she hushed him.

They both stared at the rising sun, as it created a rainbow of reflection in the water. Soleil felt sad, thinking it was the last time she would be in this little paradise.

Would you still come here everyday when I'm gone?”

Probably not. It will be an agony.”

Don't say that, Freddy. You're making me feel guilty about it. This is such a beautiful place to ever be in agony.”

Are you happy to be leaving, Soleil?”

She had an answer but decided not to tell him. “This is not my home and I don't belong here.”

But do you want to leave? I want to know.”

Please....don't make me answer that.”

She stood up and walked away. You are torturing me too much, my dear cousin... When she looked back, Freddy was still sitting there, motionless as if in a trance. She left him and started to walk back home.

Her father had already arrived when she reached the house. Tita Gilda was with him in the garden, tending her orchids.

Daddy!" she ran to hug her father.

How's my princess? My, you've got your color back! " Father touched her flushed cheeks.

I've been better these last few days. Why didn't Mommy come with you?”

Your youngest brother has measles, that's why.”

Wasn't Freddy with you on your early morning walk?” Tita Gilda asked.

Yes, Tita. But he decided to stay on for a while so I just walked back alone.” Somehow, she couldn't look straight at Tita Gilda's eyes.

Come now, then and have your breakfast. The table's been waiting.”

An hour after lunch, Soleil started the final packing of her things. She did it mechanically, not wanting to let emotions overtake her again. Why am I so silly? I should be happy to be going home, she thought.

Don't stuff everything in yet, princess. We're not leaving until tomorrow night,” it was her Dad standing by her bed.

Hmmm? But why? I thought...”

There's no boat scheduled for Cagayan de Oro tonight. And besides, I have to go downtown today for your Mommy's long list of things to buy. Wanna come?”

No. Riding makes me dizzy. But can you also buy something for my friends?”

You mean Rodel?”

Daddy... I mean Mabel and the rest of my girl friends!”

Hmmph, those pesky boys have been hounding us every night back home. They keep asking when will you be back. Here...Rodel has a letter for you. He hastily wrote it when your mother told him I'm leaving to fetch you. Why can't they leave you alone?”

Her father's ire made her giggle. For the first time in weeks, she remembered her friends and suitors back home. It would be nice to be her old self again.

A tap on her door, and in came Freddy. He was all dressed up to go, wearing a blue striped shirt that matched his lean, tall build.

Ready, Uncle Ramon?” He was asking her father, but his eyes were fixed on the letter she was holding.

Well, I am - but this girl decided not to go out with us.”

Something wrong, Soleil?”

Nothing. It's just a mild headache. You men better go off or you won't make it for dinner.”

Daddy put an arm around Freddy and whispered: “She wants us to leave now so she can read the letter in peace. “ He then winked at the pouting Soleil.

Oh, Dad...Soleil wished she hadn't stayed behind. What could his Daddy be telling Freddy ? Stupid, stupid, stupid. But why should she care at all? She'll be leaving tomorrow and it won't matter anymore.

Or so she thought.

Tita Gilda, Daddy Ramon and Freddy arrived together before nine o'clock. The two men apparently stopped by at Tita Gilda's jewelry shop on their way home. The boxes and shopping bags accounted for their late coming.

Soleil rose from the couch to meet them . “Good evening, Tita....Daddy....” She greeted them both with a kiss.

No kiss for cousin?” Freddy gestured a finger on his cheek.

Everybody was looking at her, smiling. She gritted her teeth and planted a quick peck on his cheek.

Hah! Not bad for my first kiss,” he said cheerfully.

Stop teasing your cousin, Freddy or you'll miss her when she's gone,” Tita Gilda's innocent remarks erased the smile from his face.

I'm missing her already,” he mumbled in Soleil's ear. “At the lanai before you go to bed. I have something for you.”

The luminous moon was up when she went to the lanai an hour later. It was humid and breezy out there, and she was glad to have put on her red knitted top.

You are beautiful, do you know that?” Freddy said, as he rose to meet her.

I've been told a number of times, but you know guys...they just say it to get what they want.”

Like what?" There was a tinge of humor in his voice.

What else could guys like you want from girls? Crochet lessons?”

He laughed so hard, she thought it would bring the whole house down.

You silly, girl. Crochet lessons! Why not?”

Well, as far as I know, guys only want one thing from girls.”

And when they've had enough, bing-bang-boom! They drop you like the proverbial hot potato.”

He stopped laughing and looked at her intently. “Is that your honest opinion about men in general?”

Uh-huh. Basing on what I've seen and heard so far,” she replied.

So that's why you kept Rodel and the rest of your suitors at bay? Because you think they're only after sex?”

Soleil was getting piqued by his tone. “And how do you know about Rodel and my friends back there? What have they got to do with our conversation?”

Wow-wow..I see a temper rising. Actually, I've been fishing lately and caught some bits here and there. Rodel, I heard, has been courting you for three years now. I say, he's a determined one. Will he be lucky?”

None of your business!” She turned her back to leave.

Freddy caught her arm and swung the door closed behind them.

Wait a minute, lady. I think we ought to clear some matters here. Sit down.”

First, I admit Rodel is none of my business. “ He went on. “But I want you to know not all guys are sex-starved like you think. It is rather unfair to generalize or judge people that way.”

Soleil merely shrugged and crossed her arms. “So what do you care about what I think?”

I CARE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! I CARE BECAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK I'M LIKE THE REST OF THE GUYS YOU KNOW! I CARE BECAUSE I AM GETTING DESPERATE!”

Stop it! You're hurting me!” Freddy wasn't aware that he was shaking her shoulders all the while.

He slumped in a chair, covered his crimson face with both hands. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.”

Freddy, why do we always end up this way?”

He looked up and Soleil saw tears in his eyes. The sight of him weeping gave her conflicting emotions inside. She wanted to hold and comfort him, but it was all wrong!

Go to bed, Soleil. Go and leave me now before I lose my mind and God knows what.”

She went to her room, but couldn’t sleep a wink all night.