Pinoy Cinderella. 1: Sky falls on Little Big Star Charice

Revised 1050 hours Monday, 28 September

MANILA - Today, hers are a face and a voice well known and admired in the universe of singers from the Netherlands to England to Korea and all over the United States. She is 'The Most Talented Girl in the World,' and you better believe Oprah, the one and only (oprah.com). It takes one to know one. And she's only 17 years old, and she's a true Pinoy. I have always been proud to be a Filipino; she makes me prouder still. The Filipino is worth writing for! This is the beginning of my book on her. Take that, Freddie Aguilar! (See my ´Unggoy, Ka Freddie. Aguilar must decrease, Charise must increase,´ americanchronicle.com.)

She deserves more. Charice is on top of the world. She gets standing ovations wherever she performs: Seoul, London, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Phoenix, New York, Madison Square Garden. Most people wouldn't have an idea however up the ladder of international superstardom did she climb? She didn't climb – she flew. But, I tell you:

First, Charice went through a Baptism of Fire.
Then she went to Hell.

With Mommy Racquel always at her side. Our little Cinderella started not at the bottom but below the normal level of living, below the average family life. They were poor, and she had a violent father, for crying out loud. The last time they saw each other and knew that they were parting for better or for worse, Charice was crying – she had lost her love for her father, and didn't think she would ever find it again.

(1) When you're crying, you can't see the flowers.

This is an implausible story. I want to say this story started with a gun whose shot was heard around the world, even if the gun didn't go off. How do you watch your father aim a gun at the head of your mother while you are too little to do anything but cry?

The father came home one day, mad with rage, started to choke his wife and, not content with that, got his shotgun and pointed it to her head. Ming and Kuy-Kuy cried their heart out and neighbors came to the rescue, just in time. They saved the father from himself; they saved Ming and Kuy-Kuy and Mom Racquel from a cruel fate. The gun didn't go off, but the family died – in their hearts. They became a littler family, just Mommy, Ming and Kuy-Kuy.

Ming was then about 3 years old, 1995, and she saw everything, and remembers with sadness, if not anger. She and her brother Kuy-Kuy and Mom Racquel moved out to a place that had no mattress, no bed, no table, no chair – all they had was the mother's faith, hope and love. It was enough for all three of them. It had to be, for they hardly had anything else. There were times when food was only cheap chicken noodles for mother, sister and brother. (I know the feeling – my own family went through that too.)

That little girl Ming is grown up now; today, Charice is 17 years old. The memories are sad and good. She remembers that little girl Ming singing when she was 4 years old, her littler brother Kuy-Kuy (Carl) minding his own baby business. Mommy Racquel had come home while Charice was belting out Celine Dion's 'My Heart Will Go On' on top of their little table on top of her little big voice. She thought it was Celine Dion singing, the radio was playing. Such power! Coming into the house, Racquel and her sister saw but pretended not to notice that her shy little Ming could sing, and with all those high notes yet!

Where did she learn to sing? From her mother and auntie. Racquel and her sister were vocalists of a band called Souls Free and they were always practicing at home, with the karaoke. From listening and watching, she learned to work the karaoke and teach herself to sing, mimicking those souls free.

I asked my Mom to teach me how to sing,' Ming says (Eric Caruncho, inquirer.net). So Mom taught little daughter to sing better. That was the happy part, although Charice was a very shy girl, because she had a stammer. Shyness and stammering didn't stop her from giving herself voice lessons over and over again. The karaoke was all too willing to accommodate her. To help overcome the shyness, her mother encouraged her to sing in parties and gatherings. And she taught her that ice cream was bad for her voice. No ice cream! She could scream, but the little girl had to live with that. She had a dream, and she was willing to sacrifice.

The sad part was that Mom didn't earn much from her singing with the band. She was also a worker in a garment factory nearby, but still she wasn't earning enough for her little family.

One day, someone broke into their poor apartment and ran way with her mother's savings, all of P 4,000 pesos, in those days worth about US$ 150. She was saving for a move to a better apartment and for the schooling of her two children. You cannot appreciate the loss of a hundred dollars in the Philippines if you didn't know that for $ 50, Charice and her little family would have food for 30 days!

Before or after that incident, the little girl had a big idea. This was going to cheer up Mommy. One day, Ming told Mom she was now going to join singing contests to earn money to buy food for the table by winning. She wasn't thinking of losing. 'I was too young to think of that,' she says with a giggle.

Fate intervened. The first time, when she was about 7, she sang 'Ikaw Ang Aking Daigdig,' the Tagalog version of 'You're My World,' and she won 2nd place. She sang it with meaning - the meaning of the song was her love for her mother. She was happy with that. There was a trophy and P7,000 in cash, and P10,000 worth of gift certificate. Wow! 'I was super-happy with that. (In joy), my Auntie carried me on her shoulders.'

Fate intervened again. The second time, she sang the same song – and expected to win. The 3rd Place was announced; it wasn't she. '2nd, 2nd,' she told herself. The 2nd Place was announced; it wasn't she. '1st, 1st.' The 1st place was announced – it wasn't she. She stomped her foot and the water on the concrete on that basketball court splashed on her mother's pants, and both of them were now angry.

That was when Mom Racquel realized her little Ming knew only one song, and it couldn't be a winner forever. So she taught her little girl another song, 'I Who Have Nothing.' This was an attention-grabber, a different kind of winner. Mom taught her to begin with her back turned to the audience, backless dress. Then she would shrug her shoulders, suddenly turn to face the audience and belt out 'I, I who have nothing' in dramatic fashion, gesturing. Charice doesn't sing – she performs.

That was the start of her winning, 1st place, or 2nd place, or 3rd place. Later, 'I Will Always Love You,' 'One Moment In Time,' 'I Wanna Dance With Somebody,' 'Lipad Ng Pangarap,' and other songs were added to her repertoire. Winning 6 out of 10 contests felt good. But feeling good was not enough for food, clothing, medicine, utensils, her schooling with her little brother Kuy-Kuy. Sometimes, Charice says, the prize was only enough to pay for the hired ride back and forth.

Still, with her vocal power and singing prowess, she began to strike some fear into the hearts of the other contestants. They were very good, she says. The contests were, 'Pukpukan po talaga.' If you want to live, you have to kill. Those who were good were referred to as 'Bato' (Stone), a corruption of 'Batikan' (Renowned), among the best. Since she was winning often enough, she began to be referred to as 'Buhangin' (Sand) – it gets in your eyes and can do some damage. She was small but already she could beat the daylights out of you.

She was also known as, believe it or not, Cinderella! Yes, it's true. Those singing contests in those town fiestas would last up to midnight, or to 4 AM, and one time 7 AM of the next day. A sprite of a girl at 7, she would naturally be sleepy by midnight, the Cinderella Hour, and every time that happens, she swears her voice disappears! 'Nawawala po ang boses ko.' And naturally, the contestants would celebrate when midnight hour struck, because it was time for the Sleepy Princess to go to bed and say 'Good night' to everyone, including the contestants. No contest!

As the little girl grew up, she kept on joining singing contests. By her own count, she competed in more than 80 singing competitions. For the glory of winning? Also, and for the food on the table, for her family's needs, and dreams. This is the Cinderella whose slippers were not golden, but her voice was. No, not for luxuries either. It was a hard life, but the mother's faith, hope and love kept them going.

(2) When you're crying, you can't see yourself.

Then came Little Big Star, and this became the TV show that broke the camel's back, almost. The camel had been born 12 years earlier, on the 10th of May of 1992; she was named Charmaine Clarice Relucio Pempengco, 'Ming' for short; the whole world now know her as simply Charice.

That was in 2005. Little Big Star was the search for singing talents at the TV station ABS-CBN, #2 in Manila. She was the very first to audition for Little Big Star, then known as Kiddie Kampyon. She was asked why she joined Little Big Star and she said she also wanted to be known. 'Gusto ko rin po maging sikat.' What would she do if she won? She would put the money in the bank for her brother's and her own future. She was thinking of the Grand Prize: P1 million. When you dream, you might as well dream big.

In the first round, she sang diva Regine Velasquez's 'Shine' and she was one of the first to be eliminated. Round 1 and she was out?! She got a 91% to the winner's 92%. She almost fainted that she lost by only 1 point. Oh my God, oh my God!

She was shocked. 'I gave it my best,' she says. 'My super-best.' And still she was booted out. Her best wasn't good enough for the judges. (Pop singer Jamie Rivera was one of the judges.)

I just finished watching and listening to the video of Pinoy diva Regine Velasquez herself, as well as of Charice singing Shine. I can understand the scoring of the judges – there was sunshine in the singing, but the song didn't call for the musical highs and lows and in-betweens that Charice could easily have displayed to knock the judges off their seats. That was the point of her singing, wasn't it, to knock the judges out before they could downgrade her performance?

And the lyrics were so uninspired they probably made the judges sad! Listen to the first lines:

Shine
There I was alone in the shadow
Couldn't find my way
Then you came in
And brought along the sunshine
Now you're here to stay.

Shine? Irony of ironies, Shine was the song that brought Charice the darkness! She sang first, so you can imagine the suspense. When the score of her competitor, Rafael Canillas, came up 92 to her 91, what happened was the exact opposite of what the chorus of the song says:

(Chorus)
You make me shine, shine
Like the stars in the heavens
Shine, shine
You keep me shining through
Shine, shine
With the light that you give in, it's true
I'm shining on, all because of you.

All the lights went out of her face. She went home in a daze. The sky had fallen on her, along with all those little big stars, literally. What else could have happened? She much wanted to win, but the judges didn't want her to. I know the feeling. When you know you're really good and people not only really ignore you but really reject you, what good is that?

Did she take it as public humiliation, or private failure? It didn't matter then which was which. It was just too much.

Mga 1 to 2 weeks ako na tulala,' she says. For 1 to 2 weeks, she just kept staring but not seeing. She felt extremely sad, dejected, hopeless. She was shell-shocked; her self-confidence was shattered. She couldn't function.

Does she remember what was playing in her mind in those times? Boy Abunda asks. She says she doesn't remember anything. All she remembers is playing the guitar, playing, just playing. Her mind was blank. 'Ang nangyari sa akin, super-sakit.' What happened to me was deep, deep hurt.

Even Mommy Racquel could hardly get through to her. Cinderella had turned into Sleeping Beauty and no kiss from Prince Charming could have woken her from her deep waking-sleep induced by shock, if not despair.

When the sky falls on us, let us remember what the Little Prince learned from the Fox (Antoine De Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince, page 66):

'Yes,' I said to the Little Prince. 'The house, the stars, the desert – what gives them their beauty is something that is invisible!'

'I am glad,' he said, 'that you agree with my fox.'

One day, Sleeping Beauty found the beauty that was invisible and woke up. Was it Faith, or Hope, or Love? It was all of the above.

The wake up call may have been Mommy Dearest who had kept on kissing her into the morning after the night before. It may have been the call from Little Big Star that she was a wild card, implying qualities unknown, or that she might still spring a surprise. She was being called back into the contest. They realized they had made a mistake and they wanted to make amends?

But she didn't want to anymore, and told her mother. 'Ayoko na po.' No, thank you. She was done with it. 'Maraming magagaling din.' Mommy, there are many who are very good singers too. She didn't want to lose again, because it would hurt more the second time around. But, thank God for mothers like Mommy Racquel who would not take no for an answer! 'Hayaan mo na; kahit matalo ka, basta ituloy na lang natin.' Just let it be, even if you lose, we didn't give up on it. What mattered was that you gave it your best shot. You did your best.

Boy Abunda: 'When you returned as a wild card, you had no more expectations?' Charice: 'Wala na po.' 'Not anymore.' But again, she gave her best: 'I Will Always Love You.' 'Lipad ng Pangarap.' Her contest pieces. She didn't expect to win because there were many very good singers who competed. But she won, and won, and won. She became a consistent 1st Honor. This loser was showing everyone that she should have won the first time – and they realized that now she was out to get the Grand Prize: P 1 million. The wild card had turned into an ace.

That was when out came the issue of age; she was 12 but some people insisted that she was lying about it and that she was really 14 or 15. They couldn't believe that this little girl had a big, beautiful voice that was only a little smaller than her big dreams for her little family. They didn't think Mommy Racquel and child Charice were honest. It takes one to know one?

Was she going to be eliminated again? She knew they were ganging up on her, whoever they were. 'Parang ang dami-dami kong kalaban, hindi lang po mga contestants.' 'I felt I was battling with many, not only contestants.' Why, she thought, couldn't they just accept that she was just another person, another contestant, and they were just contestants, and let the contest be among equals? No, because she was Cinderella and she had no right to be happy.

And in the Grand Finals, did they let the best girl win? No, they didn't want the best girl to win. She came in 3rd, to 2 boys. 'Super po akong nasaktan nung tinawag akong 3rd Place.' She was terribly hurt when they called her 3rd Place. 'Super po akong nanghina. Paano na?' 'I went limp. What now?' She had given it all aiming for that Grand Prize. A dream that didn't come true. She wanted with all her heart to win. Her family needed all that money; in fact, it wasn't enough. She wanted to win that much money for her mother. When her father aimed a gun at her mother, she couldn't help her. She wanted to help her now.

She didn't understand what she felt when she was announced 3rd Place. She didn't hear the shouts of the audience. She only heard the loud beating of her heart, too loud it seemed it was bursting out of her breast. She smiled because she didn't want to cry right there and then. She stopped herself from crying. Earlier, they were more or less told before the actual announcement that Charice was going to be only 3rd place, because of her low text votes. Mommy told her that if that's what happens, to not show her true feelings, to not cry, to be a sport, to smile. Afterwards, backstage, she asked permission from her mother, 'Mommy, can I cry now?' It was so funny even as it was so pathetic. They told her that her text votes were too low. Some people hide their being cheap behind high numbers.

Had they been right about her, those critics, those who were always trying to put her down? They told about her before: 'Wala naman 'yan mararating; wala naman s'yang star quality; hindi naman siya maganda.' That really hurt. 'She won't go anywhere; she has no star quality; she is ugly.' She told herself, 'At least, itong pangit na ito, narating 'yong Grand Finals!' 'At least, this ugly one reached the Grand Finals!'

When she lost, people laughed at her. 'Sobrang sakit po nun.' That really, really hurt. Even her own classmates cruelly made fun on her, whispering behind her but loud enough to hear: 'Loser!' 'Talo ka pala, e!' Many times she wanted to quit again. She wanted to stop being hurt. But Mom Racquel wouldn't let her daughter let herself down. She was always there. She told her, ''Wag mo silang pansinin.' Don't bother about those who bother you. I'm always here for you.

But Charice was done with singing contests. Really! 80+ singing contests and it was time to quit. The counting could go on, but not the hurting.

(3) When you're praying, you can see forever.

She told her mother after Little Big Star that she would not join singing contests anymore and would now just go to school. She had some guestings in TV shows that she hoped would tide them over. Her mother said to wait, 'Baka may dumating pa.' 'Something might come up.' That was when her little family adopted as theme song 'Maghintay Ka Lamang.' Play your guitar and 'Just Wait & See.' Little did they see!

Still, those were dark days and lonesome nights. When you can't sing with delight, what do you do for an encore? Sing with sadness. 'Malungkot po talaga.' Really, truly sad. Boy Abunda: 'You lost your self-esteem, self-confidence. The voices you were hearing were those who were reviling, ridiculing, insulting you.' You make me cry.

They kept praying. Being Roman Catholic, one time Mommy and she decided to hear Mass at the much-venerated Quiapo Church, their first time. Remember, they were staying in Cabuyao, San Pedro, Laguna, about 2 hours away from Manila, where Quiapo is. Then she called on the Good Lord. 'Suffer the little children to come unto me, for theirs is the kingdom of God,' doesn't the Bible say? Her prayer was, 'God, bahala ka na.' 'Lord, it's your will.' But please let happen something wonderful. How about something that will make them swallow their own words? The child was talking to the Father in her own language.

After that, what happened one after the other showed Charice and Mommy Racquel and Carl that there is Life After Hell:
FalseVoice.
Ten Songs Production.
Star King.
E!
Ellen DeGeneres.
David Foster.
Paul O´Grady.
Rai Uno.
Oprah! 1st.
Oprah! 2nd.
Oprah! 3rd.
Andrea Bocelli.
Celine Dion.
David Foster & Friends.
Muhammad Ali.
Dodgers.
Barack Obama.
Andre Agassi.
Good Morning America.
20th Century Fox.

The Father does listen to prayers – of children.
(Listen! Unless you are born again, you cannot become like children.)

Boy Abunda: 'This is a difficult question. Sa lahat ng taong nang-api sa inyo, sa lahat ng taong nang-alipusta, sa lahat ng taong nambato ng masasamang salita sa iyo, sa puso mo ba at sa puso ng Mommy, nagpatawad ka?' 'Those who ridiculed, those who reviled, those who insulted you, in your heart and Mommy's heart, did you forgive?'

Charice: 'Actually, we didn't let them know what we were feeling. We didn't want enemies. (Ayaw namin ng kaaway.) What pained you was that, you were always forgiving, and yet they were always repaying you in more hurtful ways. We talked about them, identified them, but forgiveness was always on top.' 'Nangingibabaw pa rin po yong patawad.' Love your enemies! At least, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

Boy Abunda: 'Sa lahat ng pagbabatikos na ito, sa lahat ng pang-aalipusta, sa lahat ng pang-aapi, 'pag kumakanta ka, Charice, lahat 'yan nakakalimutan?' When you sing, all those vituperation, vitriol, ridicule, you forget? She says she thinks of them all; she also thinks about Mommy Racquel being always there for her, so there are mixed emotions when she performs.

Boy Abunda: 'You cannot imagine life without Mommy.' It was more a statement than a question. She laughs a little to mean, yes. Mommy will always be there.

She has learned enough about singing from her mother, but not enough about living. Don't hate your father that much, she tells Charice and Carl. Without him, you wouldn't be around. Hate the sin, not the sinner. Thank God for mothers! If they are Pinoy, mothers last forever.

Note: Many details in this essay, as well as many quotes, especially related to Little Big Star, came from the interview by Boy Abunda with Charice June 2009 at her new home in Tagaytay City before her 1st major concert in the Philippines, for the TV show 'Showbiz News Ngayon' (YouTube, in 8 parts) – Frank A Hilario