The Only Things That I Assume
Terry L. Mitchell
September 24, 2009
We have all heard the old saying about what assuming does to us. While that is pretty much true, I do believe it´s safe, and even desirable, to make some assumptions. Here are some of the things that I assume on a regular basis:
1) Whenever I hear something hit the floor, I assume that I dropped it.
2) Whenever I hear the blare of car horn, I assume that I must have made a stupid mistake behind the wheel.
3) Whenever I hear someone yelling or screaming, I assume that I´m the target.
4) Whenever I hear a strange noise while driving, I assume that it´s coming from my car.
5) Whenever I´m the first to finish a given task, I assume that I must have forgotten to do part of it.
6) Whenever I go to an agreed-upon meeting place and no one else is there, I assume that arrived too early, too late, or showed up the wrong location.
7) Whenever I pay for something at a store and get back less change than I expected, I assume that I am mistaken.
8) Whenever I pay for something at a store and get back more change than I expected, I assume that the clerk is mistaken.
9) Whenever my checking account balance is less than what I thought it was supposed to be, I assume that I miscalculated.
10) Whenever my checking account balance is more than what I thought it was supposed to be, I assume that the bank miscalculated.
11) Whenever I encounter a choice seat or parking space that is unoccupied, I assume that it is reserved for someone else.
12) Whenever I´m the first in line at a grocery store checkout, I assume that I failed to see the sign that said, "This line is closed."
13) Whenever I notice that I´m passing everyone else on the road, I assume that I´m speeding.
14) Whenever I notice that everyone else on the road is passing me, I assume that I´m driving too slowly.
15) Whenever a set of instructions sound too easy, I assume that I must not have read all of them.
1) Whenever I hear something hit the floor, I assume that I dropped it.
2) Whenever I hear the blare of car horn, I assume that I must have made a stupid mistake behind the wheel.
3) Whenever I hear someone yelling or screaming, I assume that I´m the target.
4) Whenever I hear a strange noise while driving, I assume that it´s coming from my car.
5) Whenever I´m the first to finish a given task, I assume that I must have forgotten to do part of it.
6) Whenever I go to an agreed-upon meeting place and no one else is there, I assume that arrived too early, too late, or showed up the wrong location.
7) Whenever I pay for something at a store and get back less change than I expected, I assume that I am mistaken.
8) Whenever I pay for something at a store and get back more change than I expected, I assume that the clerk is mistaken.
9) Whenever my checking account balance is less than what I thought it was supposed to be, I assume that I miscalculated.
10) Whenever my checking account balance is more than what I thought it was supposed to be, I assume that the bank miscalculated.
11) Whenever I encounter a choice seat or parking space that is unoccupied, I assume that it is reserved for someone else.
12) Whenever I´m the first in line at a grocery store checkout, I assume that I failed to see the sign that said, "This line is closed."
13) Whenever I notice that I´m passing everyone else on the road, I assume that I´m speeding.
14) Whenever I notice that everyone else on the road is passing me, I assume that I´m driving too slowly.
15) Whenever a set of instructions sound too easy, I assume that I must not have read all of them.
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