Bear's Den: "Nothing 'Corny' About Getting 'Popped' Or ' Burned'"

The other day, I was sitting on the front porch swing shelling Crowder peas. Now, a simple task like this is made for a body who´s simple-minded. Yep, and that-there… is me. Some say, in fact, that I´m way too simple… to even be allowed to roam free without a caretaker. But that´s another story, and one that I ain´t too partial to. Still, shelling peas allows any two-legged to wander aimlessly in thought. It´s just a mindless little chore. But, as I shelled the peas, thoughts of the present national politics rambled through my brain, and I did manage to turn up one shrewd conclusion. Uh-huh, and that is that while quaint American political unrest may seem ´corny´ to egotistical politicians… it´s an absolute given… that this same ´corniness´ will ´pop´ right up… and burn some arrogant political behinds, too.

It´s a fact that the Creator gave each and every two-legged the gift of intelligence. Okay, so in my case, the gift may be a small one – okay, already! But the fact remains that along with this gift comes the responsibility to utilize it, too. Thus, I ordinarily pay little mind to politics except when nearing an election. But, since last November, I´ve stayed more attuned to the national scene because, well… something isn´t right with what all´s going on there. Yes´sir, and even those with small intellect can surmise it. So, my domestic boss and I have been watching TV news shows while munching popcorn. Yeah, and what we´ve seen is that the politicians in Washington are determined to tear-down our present free-choice health care system and rebuild it into their preferred social one even though… the bulk of the American populace does not want this to happen.

Now, the system has problems – that´s true. But, overall, it works extraordinarily well, and I have first-hand knowledge of this. Nee-wa (my wife) and nee-tan-etha (my daughter) would both be dead now was it not for the excellent care and cho-beka (medicine) that they received. So, to me, tearing down this system to replace it with something that these politicians ´personally´ want, when those that they represent do not desire that… is positively wrong. Home sweet home… is akin to heath sweet heath here. It´s about like having someone tearing down your home and rebuilding it with a shelter that they prefer – one that, to your mind, will be far inferior to that which you have – problems or no. Your wegewa (house) may have a trouble or two, but, if you´re basically satisfied with it, then why would you let some bunch of twits… destroy that which you need and are content enough with… just to totally rebuild it in their own personal design? When these questions are raised by citizens, these arrogant politicians just wave a disgusted and dismissive hand at them for being ignorant. They say, "Ah… those redneck citizens are just too corny to know what´s good for ´em". Yes´um, and that´s where corniness can… and should… pop-up… and flame their butts, too.

Corny? Hmm, well, the term evolved derogatively; it began as a way to describe a terribly naïve person from someplace rural, where they don´t know diddley. Corn, farm – you get it. It´s akin to hayseed. But American Indians have long known about tame (Shawnee: corn). It is one of the Three Sacred Sisters for all Indians – vital for sustaining life here upon the Earth Mother. We don´t take it lightly and being corny, to most of us traditional Indians… would be a high honor, indeed. In Massachusetts, the Indians supplied bowlfuls of popcorn to Pilgrims whom they´d invited to their annual "Thanks to the Master of Life for Harvest" celebration, aka: Thanksgiving. Uh-huh, and, basically, there are six types of commonly grown corn. But, only one of them… pops – wa-ah-shko-bag-ami tame (popcorn). This species of corn is able to pop because, unlike others species, its kernels have a hard moisture-sealed hull which allows pressure to build inside the kernel until an explosive "pop" results when it´s heated. Oh yeah, Indians are in the know about maize (Sioux: corn). The oldest popcorn known of was discovered in 1948 in New Mexico. Yep, and it´s been carbon-dated to be more than 5,600 years old. You´bet´cha, and a 4th century A.D. Zapotec funeral urn found in Mexico depicts a corn god with symbols representing primitive popcorn in his headdress. Shoot, ancient popcorn poppers have been found in Peru that date back to about 300 A.D. Peruvian Indians called popcorn pisancalla. And in South America the Moche Indians made popcorn poppers out of pottery. Jeeze, man, a 1,000 year old popped kernel of popcorn was found in a dry cave inhabited by predecessors of the Pueblo Indians in southwest Utah. So, corn and… ´popping´… have a long tradition with Americans Indians and, thereto, Americans… overall.

Indians flavored popcorn with herbs and spices and often just shoved a stick through a dried cob and held it over the fire, hotdog-roast style. The kernels pop and stay attached to the cob. But here´s the important part for all of the self-aggrandizing, smug and self-important politicians. In some American Indian cultures, popcorn is believed to be home for quiet, contented spirits, who reside inside of each popcorn kernel. When their houses are heated, the spirits become angrier and angrier, and when the heat becomes unbearable, they burst out of their homes and into the air in a disgruntled puff of steam. Yeah, and sometimes… two-leggeds get burned when they mess with the houses of others – be they home sweet homes or… health care sweet health care… systems. Yep, the same ´corniness´ that these legislators despise… will ´pop´ right up… and burn some arrogant political behinds, too.

"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

David Walks-As-Bear is an Inter-Tribal Elder and Kispoko Shawnee Indian. He works as a private game warden and detective captain and is a novelist and syndicated newspaper columnist living in Northwest Michigan. Contact him at The White Lake Beacon: 231-894-5356 or visit his website at: www.Walks-As-Bear.com