Bear's Den: "Sour Grapes to Dumplings (note: works well for politicians, too) "

I was in the grocery store line when the guy behind me asked if I was the Walks-As-Bear who writes the Bear´s Den. This fellow reads my column, and so, we shot the breeze a bit. Things moved into the current state of the union, and he mentioned something I´d written before the last presidential election. He recalled that I´d said: ´you get what you pay for; and if you ain´t careful… then you´ll be paying for what you´ve got, too´. He shook his head, looking at the floor, and said, "Man I sure wish I´d heeded that advice." Uh-huh, I thought, you and a lot of folks, sir. But ´sour grapes´ only make good preserved foodstuffs. Now if you want to utilize your sha-wim-in-ahns (grapes) for something more useful, then turn ´em into dumplings, eh.

The term ´sour grapes´ derives from a couple of places. A bag-wagi-shoo-min-ahn (wild grape) is usually kind´a cee-wi (sour). That´s one source. But there´s also Aesop´s Fable of ´The Fox and the Grapes´, too. From it, we learn about the anger and frustration that we feel when we fail to acquire something that we want. Some say that leads to an attitude of ´sour grapes´. Yeah, well, that´s life, eh. You win some, you lose some, and some… get rained out. Like anything here upon the Earth Mother, a two-legged is supposed to take stock of the situation, pick up the pieces and have at it again. It is just time to fix or remedy the problem. This works for wild grapes and… wild politicians, as well.

If you´ve ever seen a wild grape vine then you know that they´re crazy expansive. They grow like wildfire, everywhere. In the wild they can smother and kill other flora in this process. Yes´sir, and public opinion seems to be that the politicians in Washington are much the same nowadays. The federal government has become crazy expansive and is growing like wildfire, everywhere. Yes´um, and many folks think that our traditional American system of capitalism is about to be smothered by a fast and invasive oncoming socialism, too. An awful lot of citizens see the government running wild in this country, akin to a wild grape. Politicians are rushing into bizarre spending and craziness in Washington. For many Americans, this comes coupled with a total disregard for the U.S. Constitution and their constituents´ (voters) wishes. Capitalism, they feel, is being crowded out by a swift and ever-expanding socialism. This replacement form of government seems to be ripening on the vine within the American federal system about like some grapes are ripening in the wild right now. Um-hmm, indeed, different species of wild grapes will be ripening right through the coming months. Some bag-wagi-shoo-min-ahns (wild grapes) are ready for harvest now. But don´t fret that it´s all over for this government – nope. Just as there´s still time for the wild grapes… socialism hasn´t quite ´made´, or ripened, totally in the government just yet, either. There´s still time to apply fixes or remedies. Sure, so maybe… if you aren´t making juice, jellies or jams of the fruits then you can always turn the sha-wim-in-ahns (grapes)… and even those politicians that you´re unhappy with… into dumplings? Heck, it´s a nice fix for both of them, eh.

Being from the South, my family ate nah-podin-ahs (dumplings) often. Oh yeah, squirrel & dumplin´s was, and still is, a favorite of mine. A dumpling is basically just a blend of flour and water, mixed to where the flour takes on just enough moisture to form it together as a solid substance. That´s it. Once formed, they are fat and doughy, much the same as, say… a politician is, hmm. While most common dumplings are made from wheat flour, American Indians made their dumplings out of tame (corn). You bet´cha, and tame nah-podin-ahs (corn dumplings) are every bit as tasty as white flour dumplings are – at least to me, anyway. There´s seldom anything added to the dumpling other than the water, and it derives its flavor primarily from the meat broth it´s cooked in. These dabs of dough are plopped into boiling broth until they are cooked and that´s the dish. But an old American Indian recipe uses wild grapes in this process.

Ground corn flour is called ´meal´ and wild grape juice was used to make the dough instead of water. And rather than just plain meat broth, the dumplings were cooked in grape juice and whatever meat was used. Voila: tame nah-podin-ahs (corn dumplings). Not a bad way to make corn dumplin´s, eh. Very tasty. Now, by making their voice heard, a constituent can make the fat and doughy politicians pay attention, too. And if they still won´t do what you want, then you can ´euphemistically´… take their fat, doughy bodies and boil them in grape juice by initiating a recall vote as soon as possible… or by voting them out of office at the next election. That´s a good way to solve the political sour grapes problem. Yeah, if you want to utilize your sha-wim-in-ahns (grapes) for something more useful along these lines, then just turn those politicians into dumplings, eh.

Here´s a Shawnee recipe for Wild Grape Dumplings if you want to give it a go.

Fix´ns

1 cup corn meal (substitute white flour if you like)

1-1/2 teaspoon baking powder (for white flour dumplings- none needed for corn)

1 tbsp bear fat (okay, if you don´t have any bear fat then oil will work fine – scheese!)

2 teaspoons honey (sugar is just fine)

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup wild grape juice (canned grape juice works well)

Any previously cooked meat you may wish, to adding to the cooking juice.

How-to:

Corn dumplings: Mix meal, sugar, salt and oil. Add juice and mix into stiff dough. Roll into 3/4-inch balls and drop gently into boiling grape juice, stirring easily. Cook for 10-15 minutes. Add previously cooked left-over meat to your preference, let warm a bit and serve.

Flour dumplings: Mix flour, baking powder, sugar, salt and oil. Use juice and mix into stiff dough. Roll dough very thin on floured board and cut into strips 1/2-inch wide (or roll dough in hands and break off pea-sized bits). Drop gently into boiling grape juice. Stir gently and cook for 10-12 minutes. Add previously cooked left-over meat to your preference, let warm a bit and serve.

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David Walks-As-Bear is an Inter-Tribal Elder and Kispoko Shawnee Indian. He works as a private game warden and detective and is a novelist and syndicated newspaper columnist living in Northwest Michigan. Contact him at The White Lake Beacon: 231-894-5356 or visit his website at: www.Walks-As-Bear.com