Dating Hope for Singles with Chemical Sensitivity
Lourdes Salvador
August 01, 2009
People with multiple chemical sensitivity (MCS) often face unique challenges meeting a soul mate. These challenges begin with finding someone who is willing to live a healthy, nontoxic lifestyle and support the needs of a partner with MCS.
Though this sounds easy, there are many people who have been tricked into thinking that the products sold on the open market are safe to use. The fact that over 80% of chemicals are untested for human safety remains as evasive to the average person as understanding why some people are more susceptible to the effects of chemicals and are unable to clear them out of the body.
As a result, many people with MCS find themselves alone. Still others settle for less than supportive relationships or find themselves in a relationship with a person who cannot accept the limitations of MCS and provides a consistent supply of ridicule.
MCS is not a choice; it´s an illness. Asked her opinion, one woman with MCS said, "I would never date or marry someone who was not interested in my health or did not believe MCS was real. If I became sick after I was married and my spouse was not supportive, I'd leave as soon as possible whether or not I had anywhere to go or any money to get there."
Many people with MCS suffer at the hands of their spouse while hanging on the dream that one day their spouse will get it. They suffer needlessly for years and end up separating anyway. Sometimes the spouse tries to force useless treatments on the person with MCS, failing to understand that there is no cure yet.
A few are occasionally committed for psychiatric evaluation by their spouse under the mistaken belief that s/he is just depressed or psychotic. All have been released after an evaluation since MCS is not psychiatric, but the scars of additional chemical exposures, stress, frustration, anger, and resentment continue to build.
This is needless trauma that may actually lead to emotional problems that would not have manifested if not for an unsupportive spouse. This kind of stress may worsen physical condition and prevent the needed rest, recuperation, and proper medical care.
"I don't advocate for anyone staying in a dysfunctional relationship like this. It's too damaging," says Lourdes Salvador of MCS America.
People who want a meaningful relationship need not fret though. Salvador knows a non-MCS man who is still part of an MCS support group advising others despite that his wife has since passed away from MCS complications. He very much believes in MCS and was extremely supportive of his wife in the MCS cause. He's still fighting for the cause despite the fact that he does not even have MCS himself.
Much is lacking in so many of today´s failed marriages in the mainstream community, and MCS is no different. There are good people out there who are supportive and intelligent about physical limitations and disabilities. They are harder to find, but they do exist. And they make excellent long-term mates due to their higher level of emotional maturity.
This article originally appeared in the MCS America News, August 2009 Issue http://mcs-america.org/august2009.pdf. For more articles on this topic, see: MCSA News.
Copyrighted 2009 Lourdes Salvador & MCS America
Though this sounds easy, there are many people who have been tricked into thinking that the products sold on the open market are safe to use. The fact that over 80% of chemicals are untested for human safety remains as evasive to the average person as understanding why some people are more susceptible to the effects of chemicals and are unable to clear them out of the body.
As a result, many people with MCS find themselves alone. Still others settle for less than supportive relationships or find themselves in a relationship with a person who cannot accept the limitations of MCS and provides a consistent supply of ridicule.
MCS is not a choice; it´s an illness. Asked her opinion, one woman with MCS said, "I would never date or marry someone who was not interested in my health or did not believe MCS was real. If I became sick after I was married and my spouse was not supportive, I'd leave as soon as possible whether or not I had anywhere to go or any money to get there."
Many people with MCS suffer at the hands of their spouse while hanging on the dream that one day their spouse will get it. They suffer needlessly for years and end up separating anyway. Sometimes the spouse tries to force useless treatments on the person with MCS, failing to understand that there is no cure yet.
A few are occasionally committed for psychiatric evaluation by their spouse under the mistaken belief that s/he is just depressed or psychotic. All have been released after an evaluation since MCS is not psychiatric, but the scars of additional chemical exposures, stress, frustration, anger, and resentment continue to build.
This is needless trauma that may actually lead to emotional problems that would not have manifested if not for an unsupportive spouse. This kind of stress may worsen physical condition and prevent the needed rest, recuperation, and proper medical care.
"I don't advocate for anyone staying in a dysfunctional relationship like this. It's too damaging," says Lourdes Salvador of MCS America.
People who want a meaningful relationship need not fret though. Salvador knows a non-MCS man who is still part of an MCS support group advising others despite that his wife has since passed away from MCS complications. He very much believes in MCS and was extremely supportive of his wife in the MCS cause. He's still fighting for the cause despite the fact that he does not even have MCS himself.
Much is lacking in so many of today´s failed marriages in the mainstream community, and MCS is no different. There are good people out there who are supportive and intelligent about physical limitations and disabilities. They are harder to find, but they do exist. And they make excellent long-term mates due to their higher level of emotional maturity.
This article originally appeared in the MCS America News, August 2009 Issue http://mcs-america.org/august2009.pdf. For more articles on this topic, see: MCSA News.
Copyrighted 2009 Lourdes Salvador & MCS America
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