ECW: Extremely Crappy Wrestling!

I, like many wrestling fans, was duped into believing that ECW was going to be equivalent as the Phoenix and rise from the ashes to once again set the wrestling world on fire. I knew that this wouldn’t be the same ECW during the late-90's; however, I would have never dreamed that ECW would be WWE part 3.

ECW’s first One Night Stand was one of the greatest pay-per-views WWE has produced in the past five years. Why? Because it was nostalgia mixed with great wrestling. Sure, there was some WWE “sports-entertainment” with the RAW and Smackdown wrestlers “invading” the ECW reunion. After the pay-per-view was over, everyone in the wrestling world thought that this was ECW’s good-bye to the fans, but soon Vince produced another ECW pay-per-view, which was dubbed ECW’s One Night Stand II. This time, ECW fans would have the dream match that every wrestling fan wanted to see, the anti-ECW superstar in John “I have more Heat than Sunday night on MTV” Cena versus Rob Van Dam.

Rob Van Dam would finally win the WWE Championship and would carry the name of ECW to new heights, a television show. I, like a lot of wrestling fans, was excited that maybe Vince McMahon would actually produce a show that has nothing to do with a 40 year old so-called Christian pretending he’s a teenager, or a second-rate show that can’t stop belaboring the name of Eddie Guerrero. I knew ECW was going to be in the big arenas, but that was fine with me. I knew ECW was going to have fresh faces combined with familiar faces like Sabu and Sandman, I was fine with that. I knew that the risky content that WAS ECW was going to be toned down a little bit, but I was fine with that. Then, ECW debuted on Sci-Fi. If you’re a fan of wrestling, and you saw the debut of ECW on Sci-Fi, you realize that this was the most horrible display of sports-entertainment, professional wrestling, whatever you want to call it.

Instead of receiving an hour of great wrestling action, the wrestling fans received a blonde bimbo who can’t dance, and tends to have problems unhooking her bra, a drunken Nimrod in the Sandman beating a horrible gimmick idea in the Zombie, a great wrestler in Justin Credible being squashed by Kurt Angle, and WWE “superstars” wrestling ECW “extremists.” After I watched the show, I was confused and livid at the same time, because the only thing that was “extreme” about the show was the ratings did well. If I knew that ECW was going to be that bad, I would have not watched it and reminisced of ECW from 1996 when ECW was a better product than the WWE.

The wrestling fans were fulminating with anger, because this was a slap to the face from Vince McMahon, and to be honest, it’s not surprising coming from him. I’m sure Vince and Kevin Dunn were laughing so hard their prostates burst, because they fooled everyone into thinking that ECW was going to be great, that it was going to be a legitimate show that was going to be different, or at least appear to be different, than RAW or Smackdown. It wasn’t, it was the same damn thing.

Former ECW wrestlers knew that the WWE’ish version of ECW wasn’t going to fly with the fans; Rhino, the Dudley’s, and Raven continue to wrestle with TNA and have said that TNA is more ECW than WWE’s version of ECW, and they are correct.

An interesting observation regarding the WWE’s version of ECW was when ECW officially returned to the dubbed “ECW Arena” after six years of ECW’s demise, the ENTIRE crowd was chanting, “this show sucks,” which has NEVER occurred in Philadelphia during an ECW show. That should tell Vince McMahon something, this is not what the fans want, if Vince McMahon was going to create a WWE show why not call it something else besides ECW when everyone knows that the show doesn’t have that ECW style? Call it WWE Crapfest, WWE SuckaMania, WWE SameShowAs RAWandSmackdown, but why call it ECW?

After the first show was over, I was willing to give the show another chance; therefore, I watched the next show, and it was just as horrible as the first. The second show was pretty much the same thing as last week’s show; the blonde bimbo trying to strip, Sandman beating on another “gimmick,” more WWE guys beating up each other, despite it’s an ECW show, etc.

ECW was a travesty in the eyes of wrestling fans. The WWE was showcasing the ECW alumni as jobbers to WWE wrestlers, which is bogus, because all it proves is that wrestling, especially WWE wrestling, IS FAKE! Fake! Fake! Fake! Just like Vince McMahon’s physique, Stephanie McMahon’s breasts, and John Cena’s wrestling credibility, it’s FAKE!

This past Tuesday, I watched ECW, and dare I say, it would be for the last time, because I have asserted myself that ECW is truly dead and this “third brand” of the WWE won’t last long. Once again, the same exact show only with different people and a different Tuesday occurred, and the sad part was ECW was starting out great.

The show started out with Sabu facing off with Roadkill, finally an ECW guy facing off with another ECW guy, and the better wrestler won, Sabu. After the match, we have the blonde bimbo and her boyfriend facing off with another ECW alumnist, Danny Doring. Danny Doring was a great wrestler, but instead of the producers focusing on what wrestling fans want, which is WRESTLING, the camera focuses on this blonde bimbo stripping, for no apparent reason, to a fan, which was paid by the WWE.

Showcasing a blonde bimbo stripping for a fan and not focusing on what ECW is really selling is a travesty and downright disgraceful, because it was telling Danny Doring and the man he was wrestling that they weren’t good enough to display. Is this what Vince is selling? Sex? I don’t understand why Vince McMahon doesn’t open his own pornography company and leave the wrestling business to a better company like TNA or ROH, because if Vince is selling anything, but wrestling, then I’m not buying. I’m surprised Vince didn’t come up with the idea for “1 night in Chyna,” but I’m not going in to that, ugh.

Shortly after Danny Doring’s match, the blonde bimbo decided that she was going to strip again, and for the fourth straight week in a row, Vince McMahon spends 5 minutes showcasing a blonde bimbo who can’t dance, can’t strip, and is certainly not THAT good looking than showcasing what he should be selling and that’s wrestling. I admit, that this blonde bimbo is eye candy, but just like real candy, once you get too much it gives you diarrhea and it rottens your teeth.

I was jaded after seeing the unnecessary display of a blonde bimbo’s anatomy instead of seeing wrestling; therefore, I changed the channel to Spike TV and watched the remake of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre instead and completely missed what else occurred on ECW.

Vince McMahon’s attempt to rehash ECW is just as laughable as everything else that Vince McMahon has tried to do on his own (XFL, Bodybuilding, etc). What is interesting is Vince McMahon has made limpid statements that fans of old-ECW are no longer fans of ECW and an influx of a newer brand of ECW had to emerge; thus, Vince McMahon is running the show, not Paul Heyman. According to Pwinsider.com, Vince McMahon is running the show, writing the show, and booking the show, not Paul Heyman, which doesn’t surprise me; however, this leads to this conclusion, ECW is officially dead, but so is the credibility that Vince McMahon is a wrestling genius, that is definitely dead.

Vince McMahon is right about one thing, there are no fans of ECW, because Vince McMahon made it that way. I never thought I would say this, but for once I agree with Jerry Lawler, ECW is Extremely Crappy Wrestling, and it’s all Vince McMahon’s fault. Vince, please do me a favor, retire from the wrestling business, because you’re just deducing, adducing, and proving critics right, that indeed your product is atrocious.