To My Grandmother's Soul!
Abdulhadi Hairan
June 22, 2009
My dearest grandmother! I am so ashamed I could not attend your funeral prayers, to say my last salam to you, to kiss your hands which were always raised for my protection, and wish you a peaceful and serene departure from this world. Your troubled soul may have searched for me among the people there, but I could not make it even to come to the village, where I was born, where you had long waited to hear my first cry, and where you had celebrated my coming to this world.
I could not make it to come to your last prayers. Shame on me! Well, you know it was not my fault.
Do you know who is responsible for this? Don´t you? Of course, you know. I am sure, you know them. They are the same people that you immensely liked. You had wished that I become one of them. Do you remember?
Do you remember the day when you bathed me, then helped me put on the new clothes you had made for me, then you taught me how to do a wozoo, then you called all the family members to your room, and finally taught and helped me offer my first night prayers (one of the five Muslim prayers a day)? I was barely six years old, and you were so happy that tears coursed down your old cheeks. You passionately kissed me, congratulated the whole family, predicted that I will grow a very learned man, and prayed for my success. After that you offered your own prayers!
Do you remember the day when you accompanied me to the village mosque where I started learning the Holy Koran from the village mullah? It was just two months later from my first prayers. You were more than happy on that day. You distributed sweets in the entire village and told them to pray that I become a mullah!
And then came the day when I was admitted into a madrassah. You were the most active person on that day. You did all that you could to make sure I was happy in the madrassah and was learning. All this was for what? You just wanted me to be a learned man to spread love and peace in the world.
I did not complete my madrassah education for which you were angry and annoyed. But I work to promote love and peace in the world. And the people you said will bring love and peace to the world are now in control of our village. You know how much extremist and savage they are. You were a witness to their barbarism and cruelty. You had not allowed me to visit you when you were alive. You had told me on the phone, 'Young men are being brutally killed.'
And when I heard that your troubled soul had departed us, I was mad. I went straight to a bus station, hired a car and left for my village to see you leaving from this world. But the road was closed by the same people whom you believed were people of love and peace. They had ordered the death of anyone violated their brutal law. I could not make it to come to see you. I am so sorry my dear, dear grandmother.
Note: My grandmother died on June 10, 2009
I could not make it to come to your last prayers. Shame on me! Well, you know it was not my fault.
Do you know who is responsible for this? Don´t you? Of course, you know. I am sure, you know them. They are the same people that you immensely liked. You had wished that I become one of them. Do you remember?
Do you remember the day when you bathed me, then helped me put on the new clothes you had made for me, then you taught me how to do a wozoo, then you called all the family members to your room, and finally taught and helped me offer my first night prayers (one of the five Muslim prayers a day)? I was barely six years old, and you were so happy that tears coursed down your old cheeks. You passionately kissed me, congratulated the whole family, predicted that I will grow a very learned man, and prayed for my success. After that you offered your own prayers!
Do you remember the day when you accompanied me to the village mosque where I started learning the Holy Koran from the village mullah? It was just two months later from my first prayers. You were more than happy on that day. You distributed sweets in the entire village and told them to pray that I become a mullah!
And then came the day when I was admitted into a madrassah. You were the most active person on that day. You did all that you could to make sure I was happy in the madrassah and was learning. All this was for what? You just wanted me to be a learned man to spread love and peace in the world.
I did not complete my madrassah education for which you were angry and annoyed. But I work to promote love and peace in the world. And the people you said will bring love and peace to the world are now in control of our village. You know how much extremist and savage they are. You were a witness to their barbarism and cruelty. You had not allowed me to visit you when you were alive. You had told me on the phone, 'Young men are being brutally killed.'
And when I heard that your troubled soul had departed us, I was mad. I went straight to a bus station, hired a car and left for my village to see you leaving from this world. But the road was closed by the same people whom you believed were people of love and peace. They had ordered the death of anyone violated their brutal law. I could not make it to come to see you. I am so sorry my dear, dear grandmother.
Note: My grandmother died on June 10, 2009
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