Report: Restaurants Should Shrink Portions

I patronize the same restaurants, the waitpersons know me well and they always give me a heaping portion of my favorite entrees.

Dinning out is one of the simple pleasures of life, and I don't ruin my dining experience by counting calories.

My nagging mom (bless her heart) has passed away, my friends know better than to lecture me, but unfortunately Uncle Sam has a penchant for butting into my business.

The Food and Drug Administration recently funded a report, pointing out ways to help folks manage their intake of calories when dining out at the nation's nearly one million restaurants.

The report advises restaurants to shrink portions, provide more nutritional information and bundle such calorie-laden food as burgers with healthier side dishes.

I can endure reading nutritional info and I can even accept a mega-burger bundled with a tossed green salad, but I will simply not tolerate a restaurant cutting portion sizes.

I want my money's worth, I can guarantee that if dining establishments cut portions sizes, they won't also cut prices.

I rarely leave anything on my plate, but if my eyes are bigger than my stomach, I can also request a doggie bag.

I wouldn't tolerate a waitress telling me to order something from the low-calorie menu, and I'm not going to put up with Uncle Sam trying to downsize my meals.

Tonight I'm going to my favorite greasy spoon, they will serve me a monster burger with a super order of fries, and they ain't gonna bundle it with a tofu salad.

I hope that my favorite restaurants will have the good sense to tell Uncle Sam to mind his own dang business.