Funeral Receptions with Ultimate Arrangements: Organizing a Last Minute Reception after a Loved One Dies

CALIFORNIA - In Middle America, most families have funeral receptions in the basement of their local church. But, in larger cities, families who don't belong to a church are facing a huge problem organizing funeral receptions. Overwhelmed, some families go without a reception after the funeral.

Tracy Nance of Ultimate Arrangements in Southern California knows the value of a funeral reception.

"It gives the family and friends a time to celebrate that loved one's life. Together, they share how much they will be missed and how much they were loved, to share a great story about them and even to be reminded of things that person did or said that you took for granted but someone else found it to be so encouraging. That begins the healing process," Tracy explained. "There could be wonderful insights about that person you never knew but after leaving the reception you feel even better for having that person in your life. Funeral receptions bring people together to support one another. The loss of a loved one affects so many, because the one that passed was someone's friend, co-worker or neighbor. Your loss is their loss too."

Organizing a funeral reception at the last minute can be frustrating, but Tracy breaks it down and finds a way to help grieving families.

"Families have no idea what to do or where to start first. A home reception may not be the best choice due to space. That leaves with the question: where can you go that will allow you to bring your own food or have it catered at the last minute, even when you have no idea how many well wishers will be attending the reception? Receptions normally last three to four hours and you need this in two days or less. How much could that cost? If they are not members of a moderate to large church that has a Social or Fellowship Hall, they are lost on what to do. Finding help is key. All I need to know is where the funeral service will be taking place, the day and time, will it be a pot luck or do you need me to set up a small menu with a caterer? How many well wishers do they think will be attending, then give me a couple of hours and I will have at least three locations for the family to choose from that is located no more then 10 minutes from the service. Once a location has been agreed upon, I will furnish maps and or directions on how to get there from the funeral home or burial site. If it is a potluck, I will coordinate that also just give my name and number to all that want to participate and I will do the rest. I'm more then ready to relieve as much stress as possible."

Tracy has received personal feedback from families that she's helped to organize an unexpected funeral reception. "They are always so grateful that all they had to do was show up to the reception location. They did not have to call around trying to find accommodations; they did not have to worry about how they were going to feed everyone or if there would be enough food. They were so grateful that this was one less detail they had to take care of. But the best response I get is that they were able to go home and relax after a trying day. There was no mess to clean, no lingering well wishers and any leftover food was well packaged and ready to store in their refrigerator. It was just a peaceful ending to a difficult day."

Tracy says it's important to find a neutral location for the funeral reception away from the family home.

"First, space is the main issue even more so when you have no idea how many well wishers will be returning to your home. Beyond that, most residential streets won't have ample parking for a funeral reception. When you choose a location away from your home it will always able to accommodate all of the well wishers and have more then enough parking available. Secondly, some well wishers can over stay their welcome and it's not because they´re being inconsiderate. Some people just don't know what is the proper limit to stay for this type of gathering they don't want to leave too early, but they want the family to know that they are there to support them. That problem is eliminated when you have a funeral reception outside the family home. Most facilities have set hours for these types of gatherings to keep the cost low. The reception is in no means rushed but it should not take more than three hours. It just gives the family time to socialize with one another and with friends. What a stress relief when the family knows that they can sit back, have a quick bite to eat, while spending time with well wishers, reminiscing over their loved one´s life without having to deal with this in their home. If anyone in the family is feeling overwhelmed, they could go home at anytime and leave the others to continue showing their support to one another with no worries."

"Another issue is the cost, because no one budgets for a funeral reception, even more so when most loved ones pass away unexpectedly. Even with prolonged illnesses, families are still unprepared. The cost is very minimal, even though everything is done at the last minute. People initially think the cost would be over the top, but it's not. Most of the facilities I work with are more than ready to accommodate family and friends and understand the last minute arrangements. Facilities do set somewhat strict hours in order to keep the rental of the space very low between my fee and the facility rental fee, but everyone is always so surprised how affordable and how rewarding the funeral reception can be."

A funeral reception held at the family home can result in a variety of problems. "I have had close friends that have lost loved ones and chose to have the reception at their home, which was overwhelming to the household, the parking, overcrowding, more food than places to put it, and well wishers who overstayed their welcome. All of these issues added more stress to the family, not including the clean up that had to be done, which again was left to the family members. It just made a difficult day even worse. It is very hard to grieve and be a productive host and or hostess at the same time."

In the end, funeral receptions offer a place of comfort. "I feel that having a funeral reception is very important, because if people don't have anywhere to go after the funeral, they feel a sense of loss of what to do or where to go. Everyone has a need to say their goodbyes and they so want to show their support to the family because they too feel a loss. Some people feel it is no big deal and there is no need for a reception. Everyone just goes to their prospective homes, but grief is so overwhelming that you need to see and feel that support in a stress free environment. A funeral reception truly answers that need."

Tracy Nance and Ultimate Arrangements service funeral receptions in Los Angeles County, Orange County and San Bernardino County. For more information visit http://www.ultimatearrangements.com.