The Rev. Pat Robertson: I Can Leg-Press 2,000 Pounds!
Will this smarmy snake oil salesman every make a statement that is so ridiculous and unbelievable that even his followers will find turn away from him?
Unfortunately, the answer is a resounding no, regardless of what inanities spew from his mouth his sheep still allow themselves to be sheared.
"Did you know that Pat Robertson, through rigorous training, leg-pressed 2,000 pounds! Where does Pat find the time and energy to host a daily, national TV show, head a world-wide ministry, develop visionary scholars, while traveling the globe as a statesman?
One of Pat's secrets to keeping his energy high and his vitality soaring is his age-defying protein shake. Pat developed a delicious, refreshing shake, filled with energy-producing nutrients."
This quotation wasn't gleaned from "The Onion" or any other parody site, it's from Pat Robertson's Web site.
Any sane, rational individual knows that there's no way that a 76-year old man can leg-press 2,000 pounds. An NFL football player would have a hard time leg-pressing 500 pounds.
Like any snake oil salesman worth his salt, Pat attributes his age-defying incredible physical feat to a magical elixir: An age-defying protein shake. In my opinion, Robertson abuses the nonprofit status of his Christian Broadcasting Network in order to hawk this miraculous shake.
Pat Robertson can claim that he is faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound -- and his people will continue to hand him their hard-earned dollars.
I consider exposing the likes of Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson a public service. Pat's viewers are enthralled by his magical charms, but perhaps my essays will save a few souls from falling under his power.