The Kind of Guy I Am

I´m a strong, black coffee kind of guy, not a latte guy. I am picky about freshness, though. If the pot is more than a week old, I´ll dump it and make a new pot. Usually.

I´m a single malt Scotch whisky and dark ale kind of guy, not a wine guy. But I do enjoy a fine, dry red from a freshly opened box.

I´m a flea market kind of guy, not a mall guy.

I´m a drive-in-the-country, road trip kind of guy.

I´m a Goodwill, yard sale kind of guy. I had several nice $12 suits before the current economic downturn drove the mall shoppers there.

I´m a locally-owned, four-calendar café kind of guy, not a chain restaurant guy.

I´m a folk music kind of guy, not a hard rock guy. I didn´t like loud music even when I was young.

I´m a mega e-mail kind of guy, not a Twitter guy. But if you want to send a tweet to a twit about your last toot, be my guest.

I´m a beauty-is-on-the-inside kind of guy. Probably because I´m hoping there is some beauty inside me, as there sure isn´t much on the outside.

I´m a jeans and flannel shirt kind of guy, not a tux guy. But I do own three tuxes, of different sizes, as I occasional need one for business, which I´ve invested about $60 in. (See the "Goodwill" entry.) I am a kilt kind of guy. The kilt was magic when I was single.

I´m a girl-next-door kind of guy, not a super-model, movie star guy. Cute trumps beautiful, freckles are sexier than make-up. I´m not a tattoo, piercings or implants guy at all. Ugg.

I´m a bargain hunter kind of guy. Bragging about how much you paid for something is bragging about how you got took, in my book.

I´m a football kind of guy, definitely not a basketball guy. I´m not much of a pro-sports guy.

I´m a Jeep kind of guy, not a luxury sedan guy.

I´m a keep-the-place-neat, make-the-bed-everyday kind of guy. Someday, I know, my Marine DI will knock on the door, and if my bed isn´t made, I´ll be doing bends and thrusts until the Bush twins have both been president twice.

I´m a fiscally-conservative kind of guy. As I write, I don´t owe a penny to anyone in the world, unless you count what the government says I owe to help pay for other folks´ mortgages that they couldn´t afford. When I was a state senator, I regularly voted against amendments increasing the state budget more often than any other senator. Which made me few friends and did a fat lot of good.

I´m a pay-the-bills kind of guy. I´ve bounced a check once in my life—when the bank credited my deposit to the wrong account.

I´m the kind of guy who pays close attention if I borrow money or a book or a tool, but not much attention if someone borrows from me. That´s their job. And if I lend money to a friend in trouble, I forget about it. Then if it comes back, I´m pleasantly surprised, but not annoyed if it doesn´t.

I´m a five card stud, Jacks or better draw poker kind of guy, not a Texas Hold ´em guy. Just another deterioration of the culture.

I´m a "regular folks" kind of guy, not a celebrity kind of guy.

I´m a change-the-toilet-paper-roll, take-out-the-trash kind of guy.

I´m a faithful husband kind of guy. But that may because no one has asked. I´ll probably never know.

I´m the kind of guy who thinks there are too many lawyers in the world and not enough bartenders. Maybe a government-funded, cross-training program would save us all money, and help the economy and general happiness level of the country.

I´m a soup kind of guy, not a steak guy.

I´m a romantic, sentimental kind of guy. Most Marines are. And I´m definitely a Marine kind of guy, more a field Marine than a spit & polish barracks Marine guy.

I´m the kind of guy who would likely vote to acquit a cop who shot a heroin dealer dead, or a Navy captain who accidently dropped a pirate over the side, or a father who killed a guy who molested his little girl. I´m a two-chairs-no waiting kind of guy. I know that makes me a Neanderthal. I don´t care.

I´m not a litigious kind of guy. In 63 years, I´ve never sued anyone and never been sued. Knock wood that some marauding band of lawyers doesn´t see this and take it as an invitation. Knock hard.

I´m a dandelions and wildflowers kind of guy, not a highbred, hothouse rose or lily guy.

I´m not a big city kind of guy. I love small towns.

I´m a canoe kind of guy, not a powerboat guy. I´d like to be a sailing kind of guy, but haven´t been that good at it, due I guess to lack of time to develop decent skills.

I´m a book and newspaper kind of guy, not a TV or movie guy.

I´m a meat-eater kind of guy, not a grass-eater, though I prefer chicken and seafood. And haggis of course.

I´m a skeptical kind of guy, not an everyone-says-so-thus-it-must-be-right kind of guy. I hadn´t yet bought into all the scientists predicting global cooling back in the 1970s before the switched to predicting global warming.

I´m not a proselytizing kind of guy. The idea that the All Powerful Creator of the Universe needs me to convince other folks how to worship Her strikes me as ludicrous, if not blasphemous. I´m a traditional church kind of guy.

I´m a chess kind of guy (in which I lettered in college--really), not a video game guy. But I´m also a highly competitive kind of guy, so I don´t play games much anymore, as they are not relaxing when you are trying hard to crush the opposition.

I´m an optimist by temperament, pessimist by policy kind of guy.

I´m a get involved, do my part kind of guy. I´m a political kind of guy.

I´m a can´t-keep-my-mouth-shut-for-my-own-good kind of guy.

I´m a sonnet, rhymed-and-metered-poetry kind of guy, not a free verse guy. No current poets compare to Kipling, Frost, Burns, Dickenson, Amy Lowell, Liz Browning and Alan Seegar in my book.

I´m a Normal Rockwell and Charles Waterhouse kind of guy, not a Picasso and Dali guy.

I´m a balance-the-budget, pay-as-you-go kind of guy. Yeah, I know that doesn´t get anyone elected to public office if they really mean it.

I´m a hill country kind of guy, not a flatland guy.

I´m the kind of guy who thinks Edinburgh is the best vacation city in the world, and Las Vegas the worst. I´m not a casino kind of guy.

I´m the kind of guy who worries more about justice for the victim than ever-more justice in the form of endless legal proceedings for the criminal kind of guy.

I´m a pretty, natural countryside kind of guy, not a fancy resort, Disneyworld guy.

I´m a short hair kind of guy. (That DI thing again.). I´m definitely not an earring guy.

I´m a bulldog kind of guy, not a poodle, frou-frou dog guy. But I am a cat guy.

I´m a proud kind of guy. I admire the Amish for the strength of their beliefs, but I wouldn´t be a good one.

I´m an impatient kind of guy. I wouldn´t be a good sniper, either. I´d wait maybe ten minutes, then I´d get some Marines together and go kick the door in.

I´m a make-a-list, get-it-done, cross-it-off kind of guy.

I´m a learn-something-from-everyone kind of guy, not a haughty guy.

I´m a flamboyant, center of attention kind of guy, not a shy guy. (It´s that politician thing.)

I´m a tie-it-yourself bowtie kind of guy, not a clip-on guy.

I have a couple of pairs I bought at consignment shops for fun, but I´m not really a cowboy boots kind of guy. And I´m more of an old utility cover or ball cap kind of guy, that a cowboy hat guy.

I´m a B&B kind of guy, not a fancy hotel guy.

I´m a hard to offend kind of guy.

I´m a better-to-laugh-than-to-cry kind of guy. I´m an always-ready-with-a-joke kind of guy.

I´m a strong opinions kind of guy, but not a fanatic kind of guy.

I´m a teamwork kind of guy, not a loaner guy.

I´m the kind of guy who thinks if you aren´t making mistakes, you aren´t doing enough.

I´m the kind of guy who believes that you can´t be happy unless you are servicing something larger than yourself. I´ve been happy as a Marine serving my country, as a senator serving my commonwealth, as a non-profit executive serving the causes of the organizations I´ve managed and as a husband and grandfather serving my family. (Massachusetts is a commonwealth, not a state—there are three others, PA, VA & KY.) The me-first, self-centered folks are almost always unhappy.

I´m a history-is-important kind of guy.

I´m a Celtic kind of guy, slightly by ancestry, a lot of temperament and inclination.

I´m a hate-to-go-to-bed-at-night, hate-to-get-up-in-the-morning kind of guy.

I´m the kind of guy who´s a sucker for little girls and kittens. I used to be a sucker for big girls as well, but I got old and married.

I´m the kind of guy who can get teary over soldiers who died for freedom hundreds of years ago.

And I´m the kind of guy who thinks most people don´t really care what kind of guy I am. But I could be wrong—you read this far.