Breathing Space on Mom's Day
Gardenia Ramos-Banos
May 10, 2006
Every mother should take her time off to celebrate Mothers? Day. For it is only in this one-in-every 365 days cycle that we get ?tolerated ? for having a break from our daily marathon of childcare and housekeeping duties.
To a working mother, it may seem less significant that way, but for those of us who toil in and around the house everyday, Mother?s Day is a good time to surface from the depths of the ocean to breathe. It sounds too dramatic, I know. But after taking motherhood as my vocation in life for 11 years now, I sometimes need to hear my own breathing - the sound that tells me I still exist.
Because it seems that I have been listening to the breathing of others for so long....to my baby breaking the plane of his shiny new consciousness with faint snuffles from the cradle; to the congested rasp of my toddler having a flu; to the slow sighing of my husband beside me, sleeping the deep sleep of fathers. It was like a world filled with monitors where I could hear every breathing of my loved ones. But my own is always lost in the cacophony of all these.
I am the center of this world, it?s true-- the folder-keeper of clothes, the server of meals, the mender of torn socks. Yet sometimes, I am apt to feel, like the eye of a hurricane, that center which is the most overlooked part of a storm.
In this modern life and with my modern metabolism, there?s just no time to stop and feel my chest rise and fall with each breath that says: life, life. Perhaps this is especially true with full-time housewives, because when I talked with my ?mothers? club? buddies about our lives, we agree off-handedly, that the one thing we never have time for is OURSELVES. And we say it off-handedly so we can belie its importance.
I remember after my sceond baby was born, and my first child was only a year old then, that my days became a blur of breast-feeding and changing diapers for both babies. Yet, there was one baby nap I could count on just after lunch, and I always intended to read a book or write letters then. But instead, I took my shower, a shower that went on and on until I invigorated myself. In that space, for 15 minutes, I found time for myself alone. I know it was a loopy thing to do, but now I can recall that it was a blissfull high point of my life - when I found myself unencumbered, the center of no one?s existence - even for just a quarter of an hour.
Maybe it is a kind of selfish, some feel-good-about-me nonsense. Maybe what I felt then was as old as motherhood itself. But it was a feeling beyond compare...so much like the feeling I have when praying silently in church. Bringing my children to church is a worthy thing, but if I have to force them, then I better go alone.
Sometimes a mother has to do excruciating things just to have a moment of peace and solitude. My mom-in law, Nena often told me to take time out for myself once in a while. She taught me how to pamper myself with little, simple things like going to a parlor, visiting old friends, hanging out with my sisters, or just taking a long luxurius bath. In all these, I found out that the most valuable thing I can do for my beloved self was stretching my legs out in a couch and listening to soft music.
Sometimes, I share the moment with my husband by dancing with him with the lights out. Yes, for a mother, the best things in life are still free. And yes, it makes me exhale and feel complete once again. It is one way for me to rediscover the person who I sometimes miss from my life...moi.
To all the mothers out there : GO AHEAD AND CELEBRATE this Mothers? Day. Make sure that this year, you give yourself the time and space to breathe out and be assured you?re still there. After all, motherhood is by far the most noble calling in the whole universe.
Celebrate yourself, and just for this day - feel free to do and be what you want. Exhale and just be. You might , for the first time in years, ask yourself (after you surfaced from the ocean ) - ?Why did I wait so long do this??
I want to make a special ? HAPPY MOTHER?S DAY? greeting to my own dear Mommy Ruth Ramos and to my beloved mother-in law, Mommy Nena Ba? May you both enjoy this day!! Thank you for all the motherly love and support you showered on us!
To a working mother, it may seem less significant that way, but for those of us who toil in and around the house everyday, Mother?s Day is a good time to surface from the depths of the ocean to breathe. It sounds too dramatic, I know. But after taking motherhood as my vocation in life for 11 years now, I sometimes need to hear my own breathing - the sound that tells me I still exist.
Because it seems that I have been listening to the breathing of others for so long....to my baby breaking the plane of his shiny new consciousness with faint snuffles from the cradle; to the congested rasp of my toddler having a flu; to the slow sighing of my husband beside me, sleeping the deep sleep of fathers. It was like a world filled with monitors where I could hear every breathing of my loved ones. But my own is always lost in the cacophony of all these.
I am the center of this world, it?s true-- the folder-keeper of clothes, the server of meals, the mender of torn socks. Yet sometimes, I am apt to feel, like the eye of a hurricane, that center which is the most overlooked part of a storm.
In this modern life and with my modern metabolism, there?s just no time to stop and feel my chest rise and fall with each breath that says: life, life. Perhaps this is especially true with full-time housewives, because when I talked with my ?mothers? club? buddies about our lives, we agree off-handedly, that the one thing we never have time for is OURSELVES. And we say it off-handedly so we can belie its importance.
I remember after my sceond baby was born, and my first child was only a year old then, that my days became a blur of breast-feeding and changing diapers for both babies. Yet, there was one baby nap I could count on just after lunch, and I always intended to read a book or write letters then. But instead, I took my shower, a shower that went on and on until I invigorated myself. In that space, for 15 minutes, I found time for myself alone. I know it was a loopy thing to do, but now I can recall that it was a blissfull high point of my life - when I found myself unencumbered, the center of no one?s existence - even for just a quarter of an hour.
Maybe it is a kind of selfish, some feel-good-about-me nonsense. Maybe what I felt then was as old as motherhood itself. But it was a feeling beyond compare...so much like the feeling I have when praying silently in church. Bringing my children to church is a worthy thing, but if I have to force them, then I better go alone.
Sometimes a mother has to do excruciating things just to have a moment of peace and solitude. My mom-in law, Nena often told me to take time out for myself once in a while. She taught me how to pamper myself with little, simple things like going to a parlor, visiting old friends, hanging out with my sisters, or just taking a long luxurius bath. In all these, I found out that the most valuable thing I can do for my beloved self was stretching my legs out in a couch and listening to soft music.
Sometimes, I share the moment with my husband by dancing with him with the lights out. Yes, for a mother, the best things in life are still free. And yes, it makes me exhale and feel complete once again. It is one way for me to rediscover the person who I sometimes miss from my life...moi.
To all the mothers out there : GO AHEAD AND CELEBRATE this Mothers? Day. Make sure that this year, you give yourself the time and space to breathe out and be assured you?re still there. After all, motherhood is by far the most noble calling in the whole universe.
Celebrate yourself, and just for this day - feel free to do and be what you want. Exhale and just be. You might , for the first time in years, ask yourself (after you surfaced from the ocean ) - ?Why did I wait so long do this??
I want to make a special ? HAPPY MOTHER?S DAY? greeting to my own dear Mommy Ruth Ramos and to my beloved mother-in law, Mommy Nena Ba? May you both enjoy this day!! Thank you for all the motherly love and support you showered on us!