Saving For Marriage In Igboland!
Sunny Chris Okenwa
December 07, 2008
His Excellency Sullivan Chime is a trained lawyer who has found life-changing favour and fortune in politics Nigeriana. He is presently the 'executive' Governor of Enugu State in South-eastern Nigeria. He is a quintessential gentleman, the essentially dour Governor whose moustache interestingly immitates that of late Adolf Hitler, the Holocaust instigator from 'Nazi-land'. As an advocate he is very sensitive to negative press reports about him or the government he heads in Enugu.
Gov. Chime has graced the headlines in the Nigerian vibrant press on few occasions. On one occasion he was reported to be doing political battles with the 'Ebeano' gubernatorial machinery of the former Governor of the state now Senator Chimaroke Nnamani. Nnamani who fought the Jim Nwobodo godfather elements to a standstill during his tenure sought to play the godfather himself as his term of office expired. He 'imposed' Chime on Enugu people and today Chime has found his own voice after 'liberating' his administration from the godfathers of Enugu politics.
On another occasion the national press 'celebrated' the spectacular fall nay collapse of the Governor in a parade ground in Enugu during a state function questioning his health profile as that of President Yar'Adua continues to generate national interest. Chime, gasping for breath, was aided out of the arena by his aides and few hours late after receiving quality treatment from his doctors he regained full consciousness and invited the local press to his official residence. Wary of the headlines of the next day he sought to play down the event involving him declaring the cause to be 'fatique'.
On another occasion he reportedly turned down the award or honour given to him by the local NUJ (Nigeria Union of Journalists) members in Enugu. He declined the award based on the perceived hypocrisy sorrounding the 'greek gift'. He wondered aloud how and why the press corps that were ceaselessly attacking his administration and reporting 'half truths' and outright falsehood about him should suddenly deemed him fit for an award.
And yet on another occasion Governor Chime was widely reported to have taken a new wife from Abia State. The traditional wedding which took place at the bride's village was a great feast but journalists were not treated very well and they expressed their disgust with refreshment arrangement as it concerned them. The Governor later hosted them and after the wining and dining he addressed them in his office where he pointed out that most of the reports about his wedding and his new wife were riddled with inaccuracies. He said his wife was neither an under-graduate (as if being one is a crime) nor was it true that his children and family were against the marriage. He told them that he went for the "iku aka" (knocking on the door) traditional ceremony with his three children!
As the Chief Executive of Enugu State settles down with his beautiful new wife for the domestic business of making some more babies one wonders if the lucky lady would have expressly agreed to marry him if he was not a governor! Or put differently, if Gov. Sullivan were to be an artisan or a 'charge-and-bail' lawyer hussling in the coal city would the new wife have had the same quantity and quality of true love she is now manifesting and letting out?
The truth is that even if Gov. Chime were to be as old as Robert Mugabe or as ugly as Olusegun Obasanjo the first lady of Enugu would not have refused his marriage proposal! In Nigeria women are in love with men of power, of money!
Marriage is an institution ordained by God from time immemorial. It is at heart of mankind and man's survival here on planet earth. The Almighty, according to the Holy Bible accounts, operated with celestial means and supernatural precision the first surgical operation in history as he caused Adam to sleep away for Him to take out one of his ribs to make a woman, Eve, as his companion. He meant well as He ordered them to procreate, multiply and fill up the paradise-earth.
In performing the wondrous miracle of carving out a woman from a man's ribs God did not ask Adam to pay him before taking Eve as his wife! But what do we have today? Literal marital merchandising especially in Eastern Nigeria. Besides we have so many philandering Adams and promiscuous Eves prowling around the world. Sticking to one woman or a man becomes, to many, an archaic practise belonging the past.
A good friend here from Igboland told me the other day that he went back home and 'purchased' his wife with more than 3 million naira last year. (He unwittingly provoked a bout of laughter that lasted seconds by his declaration). That is, the rough estimate, according to him, of what he spent in the paying of the mandatory dowry, traditional and orthodox wedding. He said that having almost emptied his bank account in order to meet the unwritten local 'standard' his wife is now his exhorbitant 'property'!
The deplorable circumstances associated with marriage in Igboland are forcing many young girls to do the unthinkable to be able to 'win' over the hearts of the reluctant suitors. Some go to crazy pastors for spiritual solutions and others to the marabouts for easy way out of the teeming club of the not-yet-married but ripe for marriage. Others even run after the men in their lives without the means to consecrate the marriages damning the consequencies.
Some girls in Igboland, fearful of the repercursions of having a child outside wedlock, go to extra miles to be 'whole' by resorting to abortion after abortion. This is evidently so because if any girl makes the mistake of having a child, a bastard perhaps, before marriage she would be seen as a 'tokunboh' and not 'chasis' having dropped off an 'engine'. It is that serious, almost a taboo to have a child outside wedlock and still expect a young man to come and ask your hand in marriage. May be a truck-pusher, a wine-tapper or a village brick-layer would be the beneficiary of such prohibitive procreative fallout involving an unmarried girl.
The abominable high bride price in 'Biafra-land' must, in the spirit of societal evolution, be revisited and reviewed downwards. Thinking otherwise, in accord with the status quo, smacks of insensitivity and irresponsibility on the part of those, especially elders in the villages, whose role it is to do something in this very regard. Failure to do something therefore does not augur well for the future of the present struggling generation.
Saving (money) for marriage in Igboland could be very tasking, even traumatising; it can lead to many misadventures like stealing, '419', drug dealing and fake drug and goods manufacturing and vending. It could take many years of saving money before the average man from the east could afford to decide to take a wife according to the customary law and tradition. He does not have too many options at home other than deciding to marry from elsewhere probably from another tribe or country. Or try to belong by 'igbu-ozu' or get-rich-quick syndrome!
SOC Okenwa
soco_abj_2006_rci@hotmail.fr
Gov. Chime has graced the headlines in the Nigerian vibrant press on few occasions. On one occasion he was reported to be doing political battles with the 'Ebeano' gubernatorial machinery of the former Governor of the state now Senator Chimaroke Nnamani. Nnamani who fought the Jim Nwobodo godfather elements to a standstill during his tenure sought to play the godfather himself as his term of office expired. He 'imposed' Chime on Enugu people and today Chime has found his own voice after 'liberating' his administration from the godfathers of Enugu politics.
On another occasion the national press 'celebrated' the spectacular fall nay collapse of the Governor in a parade ground in Enugu during a state function questioning his health profile as that of President Yar'Adua continues to generate national interest. Chime, gasping for breath, was aided out of the arena by his aides and few hours late after receiving quality treatment from his doctors he regained full consciousness and invited the local press to his official residence. Wary of the headlines of the next day he sought to play down the event involving him declaring the cause to be 'fatique'.
On another occasion he reportedly turned down the award or honour given to him by the local NUJ (Nigeria Union of Journalists) members in Enugu. He declined the award based on the perceived hypocrisy sorrounding the 'greek gift'. He wondered aloud how and why the press corps that were ceaselessly attacking his administration and reporting 'half truths' and outright falsehood about him should suddenly deemed him fit for an award.
And yet on another occasion Governor Chime was widely reported to have taken a new wife from Abia State. The traditional wedding which took place at the bride's village was a great feast but journalists were not treated very well and they expressed their disgust with refreshment arrangement as it concerned them. The Governor later hosted them and after the wining and dining he addressed them in his office where he pointed out that most of the reports about his wedding and his new wife were riddled with inaccuracies. He said his wife was neither an under-graduate (as if being one is a crime) nor was it true that his children and family were against the marriage. He told them that he went for the "iku aka" (knocking on the door) traditional ceremony with his three children!
As the Chief Executive of Enugu State settles down with his beautiful new wife for the domestic business of making some more babies one wonders if the lucky lady would have expressly agreed to marry him if he was not a governor! Or put differently, if Gov. Sullivan were to be an artisan or a 'charge-and-bail' lawyer hussling in the coal city would the new wife have had the same quantity and quality of true love she is now manifesting and letting out?
The truth is that even if Gov. Chime were to be as old as Robert Mugabe or as ugly as Olusegun Obasanjo the first lady of Enugu would not have refused his marriage proposal! In Nigeria women are in love with men of power, of money!
Marriage is an institution ordained by God from time immemorial. It is at heart of mankind and man's survival here on planet earth. The Almighty, according to the Holy Bible accounts, operated with celestial means and supernatural precision the first surgical operation in history as he caused Adam to sleep away for Him to take out one of his ribs to make a woman, Eve, as his companion. He meant well as He ordered them to procreate, multiply and fill up the paradise-earth.
In performing the wondrous miracle of carving out a woman from a man's ribs God did not ask Adam to pay him before taking Eve as his wife! But what do we have today? Literal marital merchandising especially in Eastern Nigeria. Besides we have so many philandering Adams and promiscuous Eves prowling around the world. Sticking to one woman or a man becomes, to many, an archaic practise belonging the past.
A good friend here from Igboland told me the other day that he went back home and 'purchased' his wife with more than 3 million naira last year. (He unwittingly provoked a bout of laughter that lasted seconds by his declaration). That is, the rough estimate, according to him, of what he spent in the paying of the mandatory dowry, traditional and orthodox wedding. He said that having almost emptied his bank account in order to meet the unwritten local 'standard' his wife is now his exhorbitant 'property'!
The deplorable circumstances associated with marriage in Igboland are forcing many young girls to do the unthinkable to be able to 'win' over the hearts of the reluctant suitors. Some go to crazy pastors for spiritual solutions and others to the marabouts for easy way out of the teeming club of the not-yet-married but ripe for marriage. Others even run after the men in their lives without the means to consecrate the marriages damning the consequencies.
Some girls in Igboland, fearful of the repercursions of having a child outside wedlock, go to extra miles to be 'whole' by resorting to abortion after abortion. This is evidently so because if any girl makes the mistake of having a child, a bastard perhaps, before marriage she would be seen as a 'tokunboh' and not 'chasis' having dropped off an 'engine'. It is that serious, almost a taboo to have a child outside wedlock and still expect a young man to come and ask your hand in marriage. May be a truck-pusher, a wine-tapper or a village brick-layer would be the beneficiary of such prohibitive procreative fallout involving an unmarried girl.
The abominable high bride price in 'Biafra-land' must, in the spirit of societal evolution, be revisited and reviewed downwards. Thinking otherwise, in accord with the status quo, smacks of insensitivity and irresponsibility on the part of those, especially elders in the villages, whose role it is to do something in this very regard. Failure to do something therefore does not augur well for the future of the present struggling generation.
Saving (money) for marriage in Igboland could be very tasking, even traumatising; it can lead to many misadventures like stealing, '419', drug dealing and fake drug and goods manufacturing and vending. It could take many years of saving money before the average man from the east could afford to decide to take a wife according to the customary law and tradition. He does not have too many options at home other than deciding to marry from elsewhere probably from another tribe or country. Or try to belong by 'igbu-ozu' or get-rich-quick syndrome!
SOC Okenwa
soco_abj_2006_rci@hotmail.fr