Thanksgiving with one eye cocked

With one eye cocked, I pull the alarm clock closer to my face, and, then, sink back into bed. "What day is it? Where do I have to be?" are the questions that swim in my brain.

Ah … it´s Thanksgiving. I have completed all of my immediate cooking and have already sampled way too many of the goodies. My kitchen is no longer decorated with orange, sweet potato blotches, and I am packed up and ready to head to my relatives.

There are no Julie Andrews in my family (with the exception of yours truly who knows she is closer to a pod person that they would like to realize). My family is not one that cares to express their favorite things, especially of the poignant variety. My gene pool is filled with those Celtic ancestors who know how to crack hilarious at even those most somber moments. And, don´t get me wrong, I love that, and I, also, love the mushy stuff.

So, if asked, what would I say I was most grateful for this year?

My answer is a bit of a smart-ass response, in that it covers a wide swath of territory. And it is keeping with my mushy self. I am most grateful for my … Are you ready? Small bit of timpani here, please … I am most grateful for my emotions. You had to see that one coming, didn´t you?

Allow me to wax poetic, which makes me think of being in high school, and a police officer once asked, "When did it all begin?" in response to a nuisance call. My sister rolled her eyes because she knows I do like to start at the very beginning. As Julie Andrews sang in The Sound of Music, it is a very good place to start.

My emotions are the tick tock of my life. They allow me to feel. (And, no let´s not cue up that horrible song, "Feelings.") I get to feel and experience everything, and that makes life even richer than a Thanksgiving dinner.

There are so many things that make me smile from the inside out. From the flowers at the local grocery story, the word-of-the-day that arrives in my email box, the short-hand talk between friends, novels that keep me half the night, funny socks and the like, I am happy.

But I also can get very cranky. Feelings are not a single serving; we have many of them, kaleidoscoping through our psyche, often concurrently. And sometimes the "bad" ones open me up even further.

For example, these days, I am very puffed up with irritation, disbelief and incredulousness at the financial institutions in general, and their response to end-of-year bonuses, in particular. To my understanding, Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs have announced that their top six executives would not be receiving bonuses this year. Some politico in New York City applauded this move.

Excuse me? Six? A puny six? Now, I have further learned that those folks who are in the upper six get double-digit million dollar bonuses. I read recently that one of those mega-execs received something like $68.5 million in a bonus last year. Mother of God, is anybody that good? And, hey, is anybody doing the math? If they have that much for bonuses, then why do they need a bail-out?

But more to the point, where is the fiduciary and fiscal responsibility? Have these executives modeled good judgment? Have they protected the assets of their investors? Have they honored the trust placed in them?

We know the answer is no. Thank you, arrogant Wall Street, for allowing me to feel outrage and fury. For me, you have served as great catalytic converters.

If there is so much abundance, then let´s share some if it and reinvest in Mother Earth and her populace. There is work to be done. You, the private-jet-flying auto industry and other, overleveraged, corporate heavy-weights are the supposed captains of industry. Well, then, screw on your scruples and course correct.

Perhaps the simple guidance from St. Francis of Assisi might be of assistance, "It is in giving that we receive." We can no longer take, take and expect the outcome to be the same. The well is dry; the piper is looking to be paid and you, Big Guys, are being presented with an opportunity to do the right thing. Can you be grateful for the new platform form which has been presented to you?

I am certainly grateful to share my point of view with you. And I am even more grateful that my outrage at your shenanigans has allowed me to look at my life. Where have I been greedy and self-serving? Where can I give back? Where do I need to course correct and become a better citizen of the planet?

Whew, I feel better already. See what I mean?

I am grateful that I can feel. Yes, I can feel in Technicolor and tsunami-like waves. I find that these feelings propel me to be a better me. The feelings push and prod me like a stubborn cow, so that I can make the changes I need to make in my life. Sometimes, it takes me a good long time to make the change that I knew was there to be made, but, eventually, with enough prodding, it happens.

I am thankful that my heart is open and says "Welcome all." The feeling connects me to you and you to me. That is a good thing.

On that note, where ever you live in this world, I wish each and every one of you a Happy Thanksgiving. I am grateful to share this time in history, this place on earth and these feelings of gratitude.

May you know the blessings of laughter.

May you know the comforts of connection.

May you know the power of a hot meal, warm hug and safe place to be.

May you know peace.

Copyright 2008 by Adele Ryan McDowell.