Anti-Gay Equals Anti-Woman?
Dave Muskera, M.A.
November 17, 2008
Do you ever wonder why some fundamentalist religions - and the political far right in general - spend so much time and energy obsessing about gay people and "homosexual behavior"? Recently, for example, obscene amounts of money were spent in California by anti-gay marriage groups in their efforts to reverse gay marriage. Why are they so willing to spend millions of dollars to "protect heterosexual marriage" while simultaneously ignoring (or giving only lip service) to a very wide range of some pretty nasty human behaviors - many of which are repeatedly condemned in the very bible from which they select the few isolated sentences used to bash gays? Gay or straight, unless you´re brain dead or live on mental pabulum (read that as talk radio and Fox News), you might have pondered these questions on occasion or wondered a bit more about the origin and energy behind of all the anti-gay hub-bub. Why has "gay" become the current big boogieman of the American culture?
I think the most promising answers that potentially shed light on the far religious right´s hyper-focus on homosexuality, lie in the reality that we exist in a male dominated society which, while predominantly heterosexual, is very greatly misogynistic. Misogyny, in its mildest form is defined as a generalized contempt and disregard for women and is an attitude that can be held by both sexes. In this regard, pitifully little has changed over the last several hundred years. A second reality where we might look for an answer is in the fact that people generally lie about their sexual behavior – to themselves and most definitely, to others. There are probably many more individuals who stray from the "straight and narrow" path of heterosexual orientation who simply will not admit it even to themselves. It´s not unusual these days to find the term MSM (men who have sex with men) substituted for "gay" and homosexual because so many men who have sex with men, even on a regular or exclusive basis, do not identify as gay (I wonder why?). On the other hand, women seem to have fewer problems with being truthful about their needs, wants and behavior.
So - how do these two things - misogyny and a tendency to lie about sexual needs and behavior - feed into a anti-homosexual obsession? An obsession found in so many churches, a topic that leads so many ministers to pontificate from their pulpits and so many otherwise fair and just citizens to vote to deny and remove rights from gay people that are granted to all others. First you need to really appreciate what misogyny is and how it pervades not only our culture but most of the Western world - both currently and in history. Human males may be predominantly heterosexual, i.e. preferring women for sexual relations, but beyond that, it is typical for men to denigrate women, think of them as less intelligent, more emotional (a bad quality) and generally the "weaker" of the sexes. As a partial proof of this attitude, I offer this observation: There seems to be no greater negative term, insult or curse word that one man can hurl at another (or boy to boy for that matter) than an accusation that they are in some way "like a woman." There is no greater affront to a guy than this. At the risk of being X-rated, a male can be accused of being a "pussy" (something otherwise desirable in heterosexual sex), being a cunt, a wimp, or being limped-wrested, throwing a ball "like a girl", walking or running like a girl, crossing your legs like a woman, being a "crybaby" (boys don´t cry – girls do), talking a lot –like a woman and on and on. Until rather much into the 19th Century – less than 100 years ago, women were thought to lack the intelligence necessary to vote. They were certainly not included in the "All men are created equal" concept of the founding fathers. In those years many states had laws that precluded women from even making legal contracts and marriage was more or less a way for the propertyship of a female to pass from her father to her husband. Even in today´s supposedly enlightened culture, women still do not receive equal pay for equal work and a whole host of anti-female attitudes still abounds in the world of business.
The twist on this, feeding back into the current anti-gay obsession, is that since it is no longer politically correct to denigrate women openly or to overtly express the misogyny that is certainly still there, anti-gay becomes an acceptable substitute and one that at the same time allows for the expression of "rage" at a male for giving up his "power". Misogyny like racial bias has simply gone underground…not to be expressed safely in the open. At that level, anti-female attitudes find expression in the anti-gay. Gay men in particular are likened to effeminate stereotypes and very nasty things can be indirectly said about women without the risk of a direct attribution.
Bottom line is, I believe, a case can be made that homosexuality is "hated" by so many because it is perceived by misogynistic men and woman alike to be an abdication of male authority and power over women. There seems to be no greater sin to be committed than for a male to surrender his male prerogative (by birth-right) to dominate and control women….no more unforgiven direction than for a male to shed his "manliness" (or at least his manliness as narrowly defined by culture). Many still erroneously believe that being homosexual is a conscious surrender of masculinity - a purposeful giving up of male dominance otherwise best upheld by the use of the powerful penis to penetrate and subdue the female. Think of the terrible phenomena of male to female rape and you know intuitively that penetration of the vagina by a penis is more than just an act involving sexual pleasure….Rape, most always, is an expression of power and dominance. And isn´t it interesting that female to male rape almost never occurs.
Throughout history, misogyny can be seen as playing a central role in much of the disdain and distaste directed at homosexuality. Misogyny also may account for a significant portion of what is today called "homophobia". It takes only slight reflection to recall how religions have treated women over the centuries. In many cases, it´s only been in recent years that women were allowed into the ministry and the Catholic Church still excludes them from the priesthood. Until we more fully overcome negative attitudes about females and better understand that being homosexual has little to do with the concepts of masculine and feminine (which are nothing more than behavioral role descriptors having no great relationship to sexual orientation) anti-gay obsession will continue - powered mostly by highly misogynistic males and their female co-believers. One last note: notice that the most virulent anti-gay sentiments are usually associated with the most fundamentalistic of religious types…whether Christian or some other variety. Notice also that in such groupings, women are almost always considered to be lower class citizens subject to the power and authority of the male…be they Promise Keepers or Shiites.
As to the role of lying about ones sexual behavior and its relationship to anti-gay sentiment, we only have to consider this: The "sin" in which we secretly engage or have interest in (conscious or otherwise), is often the sin we preach loudest against. It is the sin that comes quickest and most often to mind even though much energy has been expended in its unsuccessful suppression.
I expect that within my lifetime I will see more social progress on gay issues. I think it is happening of late but just more slowly than I´d like. I´m sure this is a shared sentiment. The passage of Prop 8 in California, wiping out gay marriage in that state was by a smaller margin this time than it would have been even five years before.
As the younger generation with their greater tolerance of diversity replaces older more rigid voters, even greater strides can be expected. As misogyny withers and dies, gays will ultimately find increasing acceptance. As our sexually suppressed culture grows into maturity, lying about sex will also become less needed.
It may take another generation or two. But it will happen.
I think the most promising answers that potentially shed light on the far religious right´s hyper-focus on homosexuality, lie in the reality that we exist in a male dominated society which, while predominantly heterosexual, is very greatly misogynistic. Misogyny, in its mildest form is defined as a generalized contempt and disregard for women and is an attitude that can be held by both sexes. In this regard, pitifully little has changed over the last several hundred years. A second reality where we might look for an answer is in the fact that people generally lie about their sexual behavior – to themselves and most definitely, to others. There are probably many more individuals who stray from the "straight and narrow" path of heterosexual orientation who simply will not admit it even to themselves. It´s not unusual these days to find the term MSM (men who have sex with men) substituted for "gay" and homosexual because so many men who have sex with men, even on a regular or exclusive basis, do not identify as gay (I wonder why?). On the other hand, women seem to have fewer problems with being truthful about their needs, wants and behavior.
So - how do these two things - misogyny and a tendency to lie about sexual needs and behavior - feed into a anti-homosexual obsession? An obsession found in so many churches, a topic that leads so many ministers to pontificate from their pulpits and so many otherwise fair and just citizens to vote to deny and remove rights from gay people that are granted to all others. First you need to really appreciate what misogyny is and how it pervades not only our culture but most of the Western world - both currently and in history. Human males may be predominantly heterosexual, i.e. preferring women for sexual relations, but beyond that, it is typical for men to denigrate women, think of them as less intelligent, more emotional (a bad quality) and generally the "weaker" of the sexes. As a partial proof of this attitude, I offer this observation: There seems to be no greater negative term, insult or curse word that one man can hurl at another (or boy to boy for that matter) than an accusation that they are in some way "like a woman." There is no greater affront to a guy than this. At the risk of being X-rated, a male can be accused of being a "pussy" (something otherwise desirable in heterosexual sex), being a cunt, a wimp, or being limped-wrested, throwing a ball "like a girl", walking or running like a girl, crossing your legs like a woman, being a "crybaby" (boys don´t cry – girls do), talking a lot –like a woman and on and on. Until rather much into the 19th Century – less than 100 years ago, women were thought to lack the intelligence necessary to vote. They were certainly not included in the "All men are created equal" concept of the founding fathers. In those years many states had laws that precluded women from even making legal contracts and marriage was more or less a way for the propertyship of a female to pass from her father to her husband. Even in today´s supposedly enlightened culture, women still do not receive equal pay for equal work and a whole host of anti-female attitudes still abounds in the world of business.
The twist on this, feeding back into the current anti-gay obsession, is that since it is no longer politically correct to denigrate women openly or to overtly express the misogyny that is certainly still there, anti-gay becomes an acceptable substitute and one that at the same time allows for the expression of "rage" at a male for giving up his "power". Misogyny like racial bias has simply gone underground…not to be expressed safely in the open. At that level, anti-female attitudes find expression in the anti-gay. Gay men in particular are likened to effeminate stereotypes and very nasty things can be indirectly said about women without the risk of a direct attribution.
Bottom line is, I believe, a case can be made that homosexuality is "hated" by so many because it is perceived by misogynistic men and woman alike to be an abdication of male authority and power over women. There seems to be no greater sin to be committed than for a male to surrender his male prerogative (by birth-right) to dominate and control women….no more unforgiven direction than for a male to shed his "manliness" (or at least his manliness as narrowly defined by culture). Many still erroneously believe that being homosexual is a conscious surrender of masculinity - a purposeful giving up of male dominance otherwise best upheld by the use of the powerful penis to penetrate and subdue the female. Think of the terrible phenomena of male to female rape and you know intuitively that penetration of the vagina by a penis is more than just an act involving sexual pleasure….Rape, most always, is an expression of power and dominance. And isn´t it interesting that female to male rape almost never occurs.
Throughout history, misogyny can be seen as playing a central role in much of the disdain and distaste directed at homosexuality. Misogyny also may account for a significant portion of what is today called "homophobia". It takes only slight reflection to recall how religions have treated women over the centuries. In many cases, it´s only been in recent years that women were allowed into the ministry and the Catholic Church still excludes them from the priesthood. Until we more fully overcome negative attitudes about females and better understand that being homosexual has little to do with the concepts of masculine and feminine (which are nothing more than behavioral role descriptors having no great relationship to sexual orientation) anti-gay obsession will continue - powered mostly by highly misogynistic males and their female co-believers. One last note: notice that the most virulent anti-gay sentiments are usually associated with the most fundamentalistic of religious types…whether Christian or some other variety. Notice also that in such groupings, women are almost always considered to be lower class citizens subject to the power and authority of the male…be they Promise Keepers or Shiites.
As to the role of lying about ones sexual behavior and its relationship to anti-gay sentiment, we only have to consider this: The "sin" in which we secretly engage or have interest in (conscious or otherwise), is often the sin we preach loudest against. It is the sin that comes quickest and most often to mind even though much energy has been expended in its unsuccessful suppression.
I expect that within my lifetime I will see more social progress on gay issues. I think it is happening of late but just more slowly than I´d like. I´m sure this is a shared sentiment. The passage of Prop 8 in California, wiping out gay marriage in that state was by a smaller margin this time than it would have been even five years before.
As the younger generation with their greater tolerance of diversity replaces older more rigid voters, even greater strides can be expected. As misogyny withers and dies, gays will ultimately find increasing acceptance. As our sexually suppressed culture grows into maturity, lying about sex will also become less needed.
It may take another generation or two. But it will happen.