Sarah Palin: Lock your Doors
Stan Grimes
November 16, 2008
Sarah Palin has declared that she is waiting for God to open the door for her future place in politics. Sarah, He has already opened the door. Itīs a long highway we know as the Al-Can Highway that leads to Alaska along a very scenic road, but you better go now. I hear the highway can be difficult to traverse this late in the season.
Now, if you can rent or buy a nice fuel efficient SUV with four-wheel drive Iīm sure youīll make it by Thanksgiving. The kids might get a little bored with the trip, but if you let each one of them have a Bible theyīll keep occupied and quiet. After all, this is the path God has chosen for you.
Letīs face it Sarah is every snow machine racerīs dream. While hard at work winning a two-thousand mile snow boy toy race, coming home to house filled with blinking women cooking Alaskan grouper and a chocolate mousse must be a welcome sight. Do they have groupers in Alaska?
I think God would like for you to read the Constitution while youīre filling your time being a governor based out of your own home just an eye shot away from Vladimir Putinīs backyard. Who knows when he might rear his head and fly over your house? You must be ready at all times to run out your front door to wave at him as he is snapping aerial photos of your snowmobiles and your stuffed moose. Donīt be afraid unless you have a runway long enough to land a large 747.
My suggestion, and I know she reads all my articles, get rid of the voice. Take lessons. You sound too much like a schoolteacher I used to have in grade school. I always wanted to throw a chalk eraser at her. Her voice reminded me of a fire alarm system, just driving me mad. Also, I think God will open another door for you. I think He wants you to run for Mayor of Los Angeles, but you may have to move there, but Iīm not sure they have moose. However, they have plenty of deer up in the Sierras, you could keep up your practice of helicopter hunting.
As far as pit bulls? Iīm not sure but in Santa Barbara I believe they have an annual pit bull dog fighting show you might be interested in. They place lipstick on each dog and bet on which dog will change lipstick colors. Itīs very competitive and may just be one more door opened up for you. Occasionally the animals get a little testy so be very careful. Also, itīs my understanding that losing dogs must become cross dressers and fight for Proposition 8. I know you are actively engaged in supporting Prop 8 so the door is wide open for you to proselytize in all the gay and lesbian nightclubs in L.A.
Good luck Sarah and may more doors open for you. For those of you that might find the good governor unappealing please buy a double bolt lock for your front and back doors and hang an upside down cross on each door just in case.
Now, if you can rent or buy a nice fuel efficient SUV with four-wheel drive Iīm sure youīll make it by Thanksgiving. The kids might get a little bored with the trip, but if you let each one of them have a Bible theyīll keep occupied and quiet. After all, this is the path God has chosen for you.
Letīs face it Sarah is every snow machine racerīs dream. While hard at work winning a two-thousand mile snow boy toy race, coming home to house filled with blinking women cooking Alaskan grouper and a chocolate mousse must be a welcome sight. Do they have groupers in Alaska?
I think God would like for you to read the Constitution while youīre filling your time being a governor based out of your own home just an eye shot away from Vladimir Putinīs backyard. Who knows when he might rear his head and fly over your house? You must be ready at all times to run out your front door to wave at him as he is snapping aerial photos of your snowmobiles and your stuffed moose. Donīt be afraid unless you have a runway long enough to land a large 747.
My suggestion, and I know she reads all my articles, get rid of the voice. Take lessons. You sound too much like a schoolteacher I used to have in grade school. I always wanted to throw a chalk eraser at her. Her voice reminded me of a fire alarm system, just driving me mad. Also, I think God will open another door for you. I think He wants you to run for Mayor of Los Angeles, but you may have to move there, but Iīm not sure they have moose. However, they have plenty of deer up in the Sierras, you could keep up your practice of helicopter hunting.
As far as pit bulls? Iīm not sure but in Santa Barbara I believe they have an annual pit bull dog fighting show you might be interested in. They place lipstick on each dog and bet on which dog will change lipstick colors. Itīs very competitive and may just be one more door opened up for you. Occasionally the animals get a little testy so be very careful. Also, itīs my understanding that losing dogs must become cross dressers and fight for Proposition 8. I know you are actively engaged in supporting Prop 8 so the door is wide open for you to proselytize in all the gay and lesbian nightclubs in L.A.
Good luck Sarah and may more doors open for you. For those of you that might find the good governor unappealing please buy a double bolt lock for your front and back doors and hang an upside down cross on each door just in case.