Dear MAN - I left you

Dear MAN

A fond farewell is due

for I am leaving you.

This time I know it is not about my temper

or my flighty untamable nature.

I know I was good;

I was caring and loving.

I fought my demons;

but a real man you were not.

Instead of the knight in shining armor,

just another jockey I got.

Here I am and there you are,

miles and miles of feelings apart.

I no longer dwell in your heart,

and you no longer have a place in mine.

How funny! How ironic! When we first met I was certain that I have finally found my match. You were my equal. I was swept off my feet by your penetrating gaze and mesmerizing smile. I wanted to fly off the highest tower and land safely in your arms. It was as though I have been in love with you for all my life. I remember how my heart pounded every time I heard your voice. The woman that I am finally hugged the little girl trapped within me. We both greeted you hand in hand. I reached a point when I craved the scent of the palm of your hand and just the echo of your voice put a smile on my face. Time stopped! I had you. The past no longer hurt and the future no longer mattered; I knew then that I belonged with you. I was happy but you made me happier.

Then like a cursed princess who was doomed to fall, I realized that you were an illusion. I fell in love with a man who just looked like my long awaited prince-charming. Like everyone else you rejected me for who I am and for what I stood for. Like all the other frogs that I have kissed, you woke me up from my cinnamon-scented dream. We would meet and I would feel that it would be our last time. We would talk and I would feel that tomorrow we will run out of words. In a twisted way we would tango to an unspoken melody; you would pull me closer only to push me away until one night, I broke free. I let go of your hand. I am relieved.

Yes. I am breathing again. I loved you but I love myself more. My heart is sealed for I could never let you chip away from my happiness. I could not allow you to destroy the edifice inside of me. It was as though I scared you. My screen-less eyes showed more than you were willing to handle. There was a time when you brought out the best in me. My eyes sparkled with love, my smile radiated warmth, and I had the air of a very happy and satisfied woman. Then came a time when my youth seemed to wither and my spirit sank in depths of abandonment. I had to let go of your hand. You were pulling me down. You dragged me behind. You are not what I need. Goodbye.

Dear MAN ... my dear MAN ...

Deep into your beautiful eyes I look;

I see nothing.

Between your poised words I listen;

I hear nothing.

Through your sculptured face I gaze;

There is nothing.

You look at my defeated face;

You see nothing.

You hear my hollow words;

You say nothing.

You reach out to me;

But alas! You mean nothing.

Like a big transparent ball,

You are made of nothing.

Like a wooden plaque on a wall,

You reflect nothing.

Like a Greek statue in my hall,

You feel nothing.

In the circle of nothingness we met,

Talked for hours about nothing I bet,

Have I not told you? Nothing will nothing beget.

Yours truly,

Me