Politics: Vote Republican "Smarty Pants"
Stan Grimes
September 15, 2008
My mother, God rest her soul, at election time voted straight Republican ticket. Why? Funny you should ask. Her response each time I would ask such an absurd question, "Iīve always voted Republican, my parents voted Republican, and my husband votes Republican."
"Why mom?"
"Donīt get smart with me young man. Republicans are good folks."
"Thatīs it, mom, you vote for them because theyīre good folks?"
"Go to your room you little smarty pants."
Now how many people have heard that scenario before? If you ask my brother why he is a Republican heīll tell you all about John McCain being a war hero and that Sarah Palin is "good people." Iīm fairly darn certain that if you asked his sons why they vote Republican theyīll give you a similar answer. Issues? Heck no, Uncle Stan, they are good people and theyīre out to help us middle class folks.
Is that how your parents voted? By God, we are Republicans and donīt be a "smarty pants" about it. John McCain was a POW for Godīs sake. What better credentials than that, even though there were thousands of POWs during that misbegotten and all-but-forgotten war in Asia? By the way, we lost fifty thousand John McCains over there and thousands more were dramatically disabled. Oh and by the way, Vietnam found its earliest roots in the Eisenhower (Republican) era. How did we get Eisenhower as president? "Son, he was in the war he was a general smarty pants." Heck, donīt you remember all the banners, "We Like Ike?" His running mate? Ha, it was none other than Tricky Dick Nixon, who didnīt even look honest, but eventually was elected to the presidency and proved he was as dishonest as the day is long. Why? He is a Republican "smarty pants."
Iīm not a stats guru. My eyes get tired when I try to read them all, but it would not surprise me to see some kind of genetic predisposition in Republican families. "My daddy voted Republican." It has to be genetic because, well, there just isnīt any substantial data, except on Wall Street, to back oneīs belief in the Republican platform. By the way, you know of whom Iīm talking, this Republican (Grand Old Party) doesnīt look like the same one Abraham Lincoln ran on. I hear it all the time. Republicans? Why thatīs the party President Lincoln claimed. Duh, Lincoln was actually a humanist, imagine that if you can. Is it possible to associate humanism with Republicanism. I dare you to try.
Itīs also the party that the thousands of KKK members voted for back in the thirties and forties. Itīs also the party that snow "machine" racers claim and the rest of our "Bubba" population. You heard me correctly. We still have the "Bubba" factor in this country. Bubba voters wouldnīt vote for a Black man if he were running un-contended. Let me remind you however they would vote for a woman, but only if she could knock down a moose at two-yards with her "thirty-ought-six" and that's with her glasses off.
Republicans? I donīt talk politics or religion at my family reunions. My brother-in-law is a Democrat so he and I find a nice quiet spot (hard to find at family reunions), and discuss "issues." We also drink beer and discuss the good old days when Kennedy and Clinton were presidents. We also discuss moose hunting once in awhile. Can you put lipstick on a moose?
"Why mom?"
"Donīt get smart with me young man. Republicans are good folks."
"Thatīs it, mom, you vote for them because theyīre good folks?"
"Go to your room you little smarty pants."
Now how many people have heard that scenario before? If you ask my brother why he is a Republican heīll tell you all about John McCain being a war hero and that Sarah Palin is "good people." Iīm fairly darn certain that if you asked his sons why they vote Republican theyīll give you a similar answer. Issues? Heck no, Uncle Stan, they are good people and theyīre out to help us middle class folks.
Is that how your parents voted? By God, we are Republicans and donīt be a "smarty pants" about it. John McCain was a POW for Godīs sake. What better credentials than that, even though there were thousands of POWs during that misbegotten and all-but-forgotten war in Asia? By the way, we lost fifty thousand John McCains over there and thousands more were dramatically disabled. Oh and by the way, Vietnam found its earliest roots in the Eisenhower (Republican) era. How did we get Eisenhower as president? "Son, he was in the war he was a general smarty pants." Heck, donīt you remember all the banners, "We Like Ike?" His running mate? Ha, it was none other than Tricky Dick Nixon, who didnīt even look honest, but eventually was elected to the presidency and proved he was as dishonest as the day is long. Why? He is a Republican "smarty pants."
Iīm not a stats guru. My eyes get tired when I try to read them all, but it would not surprise me to see some kind of genetic predisposition in Republican families. "My daddy voted Republican." It has to be genetic because, well, there just isnīt any substantial data, except on Wall Street, to back oneīs belief in the Republican platform. By the way, you know of whom Iīm talking, this Republican (Grand Old Party) doesnīt look like the same one Abraham Lincoln ran on. I hear it all the time. Republicans? Why thatīs the party President Lincoln claimed. Duh, Lincoln was actually a humanist, imagine that if you can. Is it possible to associate humanism with Republicanism. I dare you to try.
Itīs also the party that the thousands of KKK members voted for back in the thirties and forties. Itīs also the party that snow "machine" racers claim and the rest of our "Bubba" population. You heard me correctly. We still have the "Bubba" factor in this country. Bubba voters wouldnīt vote for a Black man if he were running un-contended. Let me remind you however they would vote for a woman, but only if she could knock down a moose at two-yards with her "thirty-ought-six" and that's with her glasses off.
Republicans? I donīt talk politics or religion at my family reunions. My brother-in-law is a Democrat so he and I find a nice quiet spot (hard to find at family reunions), and discuss "issues." We also drink beer and discuss the good old days when Kennedy and Clinton were presidents. We also discuss moose hunting once in awhile. Can you put lipstick on a moose?