Sarah, I'm Packing
Stan Grimes
September 08, 2008
Pack your saddlebags we´re heading for Alaska. Seems Sister Sarah Palin´s former Pentecostal minister announced at a meeting she attended that Alaska is going to be a safe haven for Christians when the end of the world arrives. Be sure to pack your long undies because I hear it´s colder than…uh, heck up there. Not to worry though, they´ll be plenty of fuel oil so you can get all cuddled up waiting for Armageddon.
What is this? Now what were those conservatives saying about Obama´s former minister "God @#$%ing America? Now we have a Pentecostal, Evangelical, hockey mummsy, and lipstick carrying Pit Bull ready to take her followers to Alaska. Is that anything like the Hale-Bopp Comet event of 1997? Don´t drink the Kool-Aid my friends and please "don´t eat the yellow snow."
Have you ever seen a Pit Bull wearing lipstick? It´s ridiculous I´m telling you. I smeared some on my Doberman today just trying to get a feel for Sarah´s description. The dog bit me in the wrong place and now I´m sing soprano. Wow, I didn´t know my voice could reach such octaves.
To say I am totally confused by the Republican Campaign messages as of lately would be an understatement. I am totally confused, mystified, and overcome with vertigo. Obama has been for the past eighteen or nineteen months the "change" candidate. Now, McCain says he is. Twenty-six years as McSame and now he´s McChange? Somebody help me. Is this what happens when you have a Pit Bull with lipstick on your team? Apparently. You get one of those darn dogs with lipstick and your entire sense of position becomes confounded. Did I tell you my dog bit me?
Hillary wears lipstick but no one has ever called her a Pit Bull. Maybe, it´s the Alaskan air or something. Heck, I don´t know. I´m still trying to figure out this Pentecostal thing. Please explain to me about the "end of the world." If the world has ended…uh, well, won´t it "like not be here any longer?" Wouldn´t some kind of illogical logic tell you that not even Alaska would be here? Hello out there. Someone please walk me through this. Would Alaska turn into a Hale-Bopp Comet?
I could go on forever about this strange stuff, but my dog is still angry with me. She hasn´t once snuggled up for her daily petting today. I must make amends with her or she might not carry any of my belongings on our way north to the hinterland. How long does it take to drive up there? "Oh Nina, come here girl. Nina! Get that Cover Girl Makeup off right now!"
What is this? Now what were those conservatives saying about Obama´s former minister "God @#$%ing America? Now we have a Pentecostal, Evangelical, hockey mummsy, and lipstick carrying Pit Bull ready to take her followers to Alaska. Is that anything like the Hale-Bopp Comet event of 1997? Don´t drink the Kool-Aid my friends and please "don´t eat the yellow snow."
Have you ever seen a Pit Bull wearing lipstick? It´s ridiculous I´m telling you. I smeared some on my Doberman today just trying to get a feel for Sarah´s description. The dog bit me in the wrong place and now I´m sing soprano. Wow, I didn´t know my voice could reach such octaves.
To say I am totally confused by the Republican Campaign messages as of lately would be an understatement. I am totally confused, mystified, and overcome with vertigo. Obama has been for the past eighteen or nineteen months the "change" candidate. Now, McCain says he is. Twenty-six years as McSame and now he´s McChange? Somebody help me. Is this what happens when you have a Pit Bull with lipstick on your team? Apparently. You get one of those darn dogs with lipstick and your entire sense of position becomes confounded. Did I tell you my dog bit me?
Hillary wears lipstick but no one has ever called her a Pit Bull. Maybe, it´s the Alaskan air or something. Heck, I don´t know. I´m still trying to figure out this Pentecostal thing. Please explain to me about the "end of the world." If the world has ended…uh, well, won´t it "like not be here any longer?" Wouldn´t some kind of illogical logic tell you that not even Alaska would be here? Hello out there. Someone please walk me through this. Would Alaska turn into a Hale-Bopp Comet?
I could go on forever about this strange stuff, but my dog is still angry with me. She hasn´t once snuggled up for her daily petting today. I must make amends with her or she might not carry any of my belongings on our way north to the hinterland. How long does it take to drive up there? "Oh Nina, come here girl. Nina! Get that Cover Girl Makeup off right now!"