Child Abuse Survivor Shares Her Story in STAND
Cheryl C. Malandrinos
May 24, 2008
Welcome Debbie. It's a pleasure to have you here.
Can you tell us a little about your book?
Itīs my journey of healing through forgiveness. The book walks through living with child rape and abuse, my adult life, my addictions and an abusive marriage and several suicide attempts; the last one leaving me to face my eight-year-old daughter after she found me unconscious. I talk about finding the person inside of me that I longed to be and learning to love that person. My path to heal was chosen not only for me but to heal my children as well and to stop the abuse from spreading to my grandchildren.
How difficult was it for you to share your story? What was the most surprising thing you uncovered while performing research for this book?
At times it was very difficult. Trying to put my childhood horrors into words was not an easy task. It was like living it over and over again. I kept a clear vision of the dream to make a difference in this world, in my world. I wanted to know that my grandchildren would never have to go through what I did. I also questioned myself over and over for the simple fact that it was not just my life, it was also my childrenīs lives and their fatherīs life. I was not ready to have my children resent me for writing this book. I also struggled with my motherīs story. She passed away when it came time to interview her about her history. She left me her journals and made me promise her I would finish the book. I missed her and wanted her with me and writing about her childhood was more difficult than my own. But somehow I knew that I had to finish this book. The message was bigger than me and I had to trust what I was told.
The most surprising part of the research was my motherīs strength and her knowledge. I knew she had several degrees and that she was a child advocate, but I did not know how very devoted she was. She never told me about the thousands of children she helped. She was a hero, not just for me but for literally thousands of children. She gave her life to help children escape the horrors they lived with. I found boxes and boxes of thank you letters from people that she had helped when they were children and they all addressed her as Gram Cracker. It was a tribute to her life that words will never do justice. I still have the boxes of letters. I read them on the days that I miss her the most. I have only made it through about half of them even when I have weeks at a time when I read them every day. They are beautiful.
If your family hadnīt supported your decision to publish "Stand" would you have done it anyway?
Yes, I had a message to bring to the world, and I had a visit from my grandmother on the other side telling me to write this book. I could not have denied that visit or ignored the message. It was no longer about me, I had to do it. I knew in my heart that my children would trust my reasons for writing this book.
How long did it take you to bring this book from the first draft to the final published product?
I took about six months from when the editing started to the book being published.
Were there any special obstacles or challenges you faced during the publishing process?
Yes, self publishing is an unknown route to take. At the time I believed it was the only way to get my book out there. Self-publishing is difficult to get any publicity at all and being unknown as an author made it even more difficult.
Where can readers purchase a copy of your book? Stand is available at Barnes & Noble, Borders, Amazon and several internet book stores.
Do you have a website where readers can find out more?
Yes, www.standthebook.com and http://www.myspace.com/williamsondebbie
Is there anything else you would like to add?
Yes, I would like to tell people that everything starts with an idea and when it turns into a dream stay with it. Dreams are what make a difference in this world if you believe in them.