This tax day, we should reflect on how thoughtful our government is to give us rebates
Dan Brawner
April 15, 2008
I did my taxes at the last minute again this year because I didn´t want to give myself time to think about what I was actually doing. As a conscientious consumer, the last thing you want to do while you´re paying taxes is point out what you´re getting for your money. So I decided to block out all such thoughts by concentrating on the positive side of this year´s taxes–the rebate.
Sure, I´m paying all this money in taxes while my government is waging war on the countries that control our gas prices and there are so many pot holes in the roads that driving to the store sounds like a drum solo. But just think what I could do with that $600 rebate! Why, I could–I could–I could pay bills. What a drag it is to be an adult! I mean, if the government is going to give you money to spend to stimulate the economy, they should insist that you spend it only on things that are fun like a weekend at a health spa or a trip to Las Vegas or camping in Yellowstone. Anybody caught spending their tax rebate on diapers or their mortgage should get fined and forced to wear a sign proclaiming that they are a traitor to their country and an unstimulating tax payer.
After all, our government is going to fork out $165 billion to jumpstart the economy. The least we can do is cooperate. And just you wait–stores will make it easy for us. Soon, we´ll be seeing flat screen TV´s, sofas, computers and lawn tractors–all on sale for $600.
But where will this $165 billion come from? Is there a special "economy stimulation" fund, squirreled away in some underground vault in Washington, waiting for just the right moment? Did a secret team of the country´s top economic strategists use their special keys which they turned in unison, like launching a nuclear missile?
I admit I´m unenlightened about economic matters. But as I made out my check to the Internal Revenue Service, it began to dawn on me. If I´m giving money to the federal government while they raise taxes and the prices for everything go up, why am I so happy that they give a little of it back? Couldn´t they just not charge us so much in the first place and save all that paperwork? It´s not that I´m ungrateful. But it´s like they´re throwing us a party and making us pay for it.
Okay, I know. That´s not the point. Our government is going to take our money and spend it on things we don´t like and tell us what to do. That´s what governments are for. But every once in a while, they want to do something nice to show us they care.
Sure, I´m paying all this money in taxes while my government is waging war on the countries that control our gas prices and there are so many pot holes in the roads that driving to the store sounds like a drum solo. But just think what I could do with that $600 rebate! Why, I could–I could–I could pay bills. What a drag it is to be an adult! I mean, if the government is going to give you money to spend to stimulate the economy, they should insist that you spend it only on things that are fun like a weekend at a health spa or a trip to Las Vegas or camping in Yellowstone. Anybody caught spending their tax rebate on diapers or their mortgage should get fined and forced to wear a sign proclaiming that they are a traitor to their country and an unstimulating tax payer.
After all, our government is going to fork out $165 billion to jumpstart the economy. The least we can do is cooperate. And just you wait–stores will make it easy for us. Soon, we´ll be seeing flat screen TV´s, sofas, computers and lawn tractors–all on sale for $600.
But where will this $165 billion come from? Is there a special "economy stimulation" fund, squirreled away in some underground vault in Washington, waiting for just the right moment? Did a secret team of the country´s top economic strategists use their special keys which they turned in unison, like launching a nuclear missile?
I admit I´m unenlightened about economic matters. But as I made out my check to the Internal Revenue Service, it began to dawn on me. If I´m giving money to the federal government while they raise taxes and the prices for everything go up, why am I so happy that they give a little of it back? Couldn´t they just not charge us so much in the first place and save all that paperwork? It´s not that I´m ungrateful. But it´s like they´re throwing us a party and making us pay for it.
Okay, I know. That´s not the point. Our government is going to take our money and spend it on things we don´t like and tell us what to do. That´s what governments are for. But every once in a while, they want to do something nice to show us they care.